Guilty of taking much value

[lindsayrrr]

Hey guys

After reading the article of being a buzzkill (https://www.girlschase.com/content/9-thi ... her-people), I realised I'm guilty of taking too much value and giving less in return. It kind of explains why friends tend to spend little with me. I think I need to change this ASAP because it will also impact my results with girls.
That said I don't quite understand the concept of giving value. And how to tell what other people value so I can give it to them, everyone wants different things.

What things count as giving value, and how do I balance this with receiving value. Maybe an explanation on what makes an action either giving or receiving value.
I hope this is posted in the correct board.

lindsayrrr

 

[readjusting]

What things count as giving value, and how do I balance this with receiving value.

Value is a strange thing. When I was a virgin, and I was talking to very hot girls, I didn't push for the close (not even an instant date, mind you). I thought that I was taking value away from a girl by sleeping with her.
I thought that I had no value as the lover. As you recall, lover value is that you sleep around with lots of girls, and a girl love to receive that gene. But if you're a virgin, you have no such value to return.

But, as I observed:
You slept with her, fast. In her viewpoint, you had preselection, in the future you'll sleep with more girls, you had awesome gene. She was lucky that she slept with you.
You didn't sleep with her. In her viewpoint, you had shitty gene. She was lucky that she didn't sleep with you.

 

[lindsayrrr]

Hey Slay

But there is a right and wrong way to give it. You don't want to go out of your way to give value, you should be giving value without expecting anything (being genuine), and give lots of free value!!

I get that I need to start giving more but with the examples that you listed, I don't expect anything in return from anyone. I didn't think such simple actions count as giving value.

But don't give too much value or you'll start to be taken for granted!!

Does that apply to giving free value actions also? I don't know about the right balance so I will need to give more value then start dialling it down.

Generally people that give a lot of effortless value recieve lots back. But there is a certain balance which you have to find for yourself of giving value/making people work for it. Shit like acting semi bored, not trying to continue the conversation, etc.

I've seen a colleague act bored alot, it makes him seem cool but I think it would be better to inject a bit more energy into my interactions. What are your thoughts?

Last thing beware of phsychic vampires who only take value. These people are huge downers. I live with one!!

I'm probably one myself. I need to unlearn this quickly because it affects all my relationships.
Thanks Slay

 

[lindsayrrr]

What things count as giving value, and how do I balance this with receiving value.

Value is a strange thing. When I was a virgin, and I was talking to very hot girls, I didn't push for the close (not even an instant date, mind you). I thought that I was taking value away from a girl by sleeping with her.
I thought that I had no value as the lover. As you recall, lover value is that you sleep around with lots of girls, and a girl love to receive that gene. But if you're a virgin, you have no such value to return.

But, as I observed:
You slept with her, fast. In her viewpoint, you had preselection, in the future you'll sleep with more girls, you had awesome gene. She was lucky that she slept with you.
You didn't sleep with her. In her viewpoint, you had shitty gene. She was lucky that she didn't sleep with you.

Hey CKTC

I've think I've read about that in Chases' book. Something about shown value vs actual value. It said something about actual value doesn't count and your actions and fundamentals determine your shown value. So whether you're virgin or not, it doesn't matter until she find's out, by showing your inexperience.

Thanks man