Gym Social Circle and Dismissive Responses

[Kent]

Hey guys, wanted to ask if anyone has insight on contemporary gym game. I’ve been in my home town (a relatively small and slow coastal city) for the past 6 months and have developed solid social proof at my gym. My biggest unfulfilled dream in seduction is to land a gym pawg, but I’m now in my late 20s and I still haven’t pulled it off.

I’ve consistently lifted hard for over a decade, have a great physique, always feel very confident in gyms, and get more IOIs in gyms than any other setting (sorry if I sound a bit douchey, but it is something I’ve put a ton of work into). I’m friends with the male staff and a decent amount of regulars.

However, most of the times I’ve acted on IOIs and approached girls at the gym, they seem anxious and dismissive. For example, the other day I approached a cute employee for a friendly chat (she was closing and I offered to help her in between my sets), before she ended the conversation abruptly and somewhat rudely. She has since given me warm smiles when I see her, but I am hesitant to reopen any form of rapport, because I have an internal resistance to reward someone I feel has rejected or snubbed me with more validation.

My most warm responses from gym openers have been to compliment a woman’s lift (“that’s impressive!”) which I then flow into a rudimentary conversation. I’ve used this to ask out one girl who politely rejected me a month or so ago. But I am reticent to taint my social proof with too many more rejections in the gym, so I am hoping for any advice on how to navigate this treacherous landscape and enjoy the triumph of my dream pawg.

 

[rockstar]

The gym isn't really a place where you can just do a ton of cold approaches (as it seems you already know). You can just go for the occasional girl you get ioi's from like you're doing. Or you can try to turn it into more of a social circle game situation.

I’m friends with the male staff and a decent amount of regulars.

Only men?

However, most of the times I’ve acted on IOIs and approached girls at the gym, they seem anxious and dismissive

If these are girls that regularly come at similar times, then you have the luxury of going slower because you'll see them again. You can start by just making eye contact and smiling and saying hi in passing to short conversations. Get them on social media (if you use that for game). You don't have to go for a date ask first time.

Some girls are a little socially awkward/anxious, but if this is happening with every girl, you should lower the pressure. Keep interactions casual, shorter at first, and quickly, subtly disqualify girls and break rapport early.

She has since given me warm smiles when I see her, but I am hesitant to reopen any form of rapport, because I have an internal resistance to reward someone I feel has rejected or snubbed me with more validation.

You might have been able to call that out if the rudeness was obvious. Anyway, if she's being friendly now (and it's not just an awkward polite smile), you should be friendly back and talk to her again.


If you want to do "social circle game" here, you can invite some of the employees (especially attractive female ones) to something outside the gym to hang out, though I don't know if it will be easy to get random members involved. You might be able to get a weekly volleyball (or any other fitness/sports activity) thing going. You might be able to start by just having a few people that have the same gym schedule and chat between sets, or go for smoothies after or something. Introduce girls to other girls. Depends on the size and vibe of your gym. Some people will just want to get in work out and get out and won't want to socialize at all.

Joining (or even better, teaching) a group class like yoga, spin, crossfit, pilates, etc would probably be a much better idea.

It's also better if you can just feed the people you occasionally meet at the gym into a bigger social circle you have. Because I don't imagine you're going to be able to do much volume at all from the gym unless you're able to get a lot of girls from group classes or something (and even with that, it's still better for this to just be a source for your general social life rather than building a social circle around the gym).

But I am reticent to taint my social proof with too many more rejections in the gym

If you're friendly with everyone and not just directly hitting on all the girls you talk too, this shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Will_V]

Hey guys, wanted to ask if anyone has insight on contemporary gym game. I’ve been in my home town (a relatively small and slow coastal city) for the past 6 months and have developed solid social proof at my gym. My biggest unfulfilled dream in seduction is to land a gym pawg, but I’m now in my late 20s and I still haven’t pulled it off.

I’ve consistently lifted hard for over a decade, have a great physique, always feel very confident in gyms, and get more IOIs in gyms than any other setting (sorry if I sound a bit douchey, but it is something I’ve put a ton of work into). I’m friends with the male staff and a decent amount of regulars.

However, most of the times I’ve acted on IOIs and approached girls at the gym, they seem anxious and dismissive. For example, the other day I approached a cute employee for a friendly chat (she was closing and I offered to help her in between my sets), before she ended the conversation abruptly and somewhat rudely. She has since given me warm smiles when I see her, but I am hesitant to reopen any form of rapport, because I have an internal resistance to reward someone I feel has rejected or snubbed me with more validation.

My most warm responses from gym openers have been to compliment a woman’s lift (“that’s impressive!”) which I then flow into a rudimentary conversation. I’ve used this to ask out one girl who politely rejected me a month or so ago. But I am reticent to taint my social proof with too many more rejections in the gym, so I am hoping for any advice on how to navigate this treacherous landscape and enjoy the triumph of my dream pawg.

I don't really go for seductions at my gym unless there's a very straightforward opportunity. But like any setting that has a dimension of social circle (which the gym vaguely does, since you see the same people regularly) the most important thing is to establish the ability to socialize easily with the girls you want and have them enjoy being around you. You don't want to be that guy who works himself up aggressively with some weights until his wolverine comes out and then goes zeroing in on some gym girl in the vicinity (I know you're not that, exaggerating to make the point here!).

So I would keep things light and friendly until the conversation was flowing, probably end the conversation once or twice myself to make it clear I'm not going to be glued onto her, and then one time on a high note move it to coffee.

Something I've found useful to get into the right headspace, especially if I had an aggressive workout (which I like to do) is to go to that part of the gym where all the girls are exercising their 1kg weights and stretching, pull up a mat and do stretching or something, and just hang there enjoying them being around without necessarily talking to them, but making them curious. I might do some crazy stretches there like the 'plow pose' just for fun and just try to maintain a vaguely silly vibe, like they are all silly and they make me feel silly too.

The idea is to get out of the idea of being this 'alpha gym bro' which sets all her defences off and into something she can relate to a bit more, a guy who likes to be around her and have fun rather than some dude getting worked up about her gym bunny body.