h8teh8ers Journal

h8tehh8ers

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Messages
15
Intro: 36 years old. I've been going out now pretty consistently now for over a year and my results are very unsatisfying. I drive out from the burbs to the city of Chicago. My cold approach lay count was only like 6 girls for the whole year of 2019. I usually go out friday and saturday nights. I've been on like a 4 month cold streak now from cold approaching. I am trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. I could really use some mentorship.

I think I am a relatively average looking guy with a big build. I am 6'3 with a decent amount of muscle mass on me. I usually wear very basic v neck with jeans when I go out. Usually a nice pair of chelsea boots as well. I have a white spot on the right part of my face from a skin disorder that I had as a kid. It's a auto immune disease that took the pigment away from my skin cells as a kid.

h8theh8ers my pic

My Game: My game is usually going to loud places with a dancefloor and I try and get iois from girls but also just approaching cold. I like to get a nice buzz while going out to approach woman. It's difficult to do it completely sober.I seem to be only getting 2-3 clear cut iois from girls every night and I am usually not interested in those girls I get iois from. I definitely feel more comfortable approaching girls on the dancefloor. I am a introvert by nature but find myself able to have fun dancing to music regardless if I am getting the interest of ladies or not. Music puts me into a really good mood. I try and walk around the bar or club slowly and try and get into interactions with anybody to build social momentum.
My verbal game is very lacking so thats why I feel like going to loud places where you can only use non verbals mostly. I have a hard time spiking the emotions of woman. I tend to start feeling like I dont know what to say and some conversations turn to boring interview mode when that happens.

1) Do you guys think I am good enough looking to be trying this aggressive screening game?

2) Should I look into trying to cover up my white spot on my face with some sort of makeup? Do woman see this a genetic inferiority?

3) Do you guys think the tight v neck to show off my muscle mass as try hard? Should I switch the maybe dress shirts? Am i coming off as a meathead?

4) What should I follow to try and become more competent in my verbals with woman?

Bottom line I feel like 6 lays from cold approach in a year of going out is unacceptable. I feel as a big dude like me I should be doing way better.
 
Last edited:

h8tehh8ers

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Messages
15
1/11/2020 Field Report

1) First set with wing at Point and Feather.
Opened up a group of 5 woman and asked one off to the side how her night was going then tried to talk with the whole group. If the alpha female of the group was the really tall blonde that wouldn't turn around to talk with us. They said it was another member of the group. I was only really attracted to the tall blonde of the group who didn't turn around to interact with us. Ejected.,

2) Second group of woman at Point of Feather.
Opened up another big group of woman with the same tactic with talking with the one straggler off to the side. Then the rest of the group started interacting with us. I remember asking why they all love white claw so much because they all were drinking white claws. Asked if they were out for a special occasion and how they all knew each other. College friends blah blah blah. They weren't giving us nothing so I ejected.

3) Brunette @ Boss Bar with wing
We seen a two set from across the bar and I motioned my wing to follow me. Got to the other side of the bar and I opened with "I saw you from across the bar and thought you were really cute so I wanted to come over and introduce myself". We shook hands while exchanging names after that. I asked how they knew each other and if it was a special occasion. 3rd friend eventually showed up half way through the interaction and kinda of planted next to the girl I was talking to. She wasn't really giving me anything to work off of and the conversation hit a dead spot then the 3rd friend planted between me and my brunette. I ejected.

4) 30-40 mins set @ boss bar with wing that caused a argument between us after
Pre approach we decided my friend get a shot at the attractive blonde in the two set. I had a sorta clunky Chinese asian. My interaction with the asian girl was pretty decent but she pretty much told me from the start she wasnt attracted to me because of my age. She was a 22 year old girl. I told her to guess my age and she said 44 (bitch!). I try to make light of it by calling myself a dinosaur from the jurassic period. I asked her what the hell tinder and social media was?!?!? Told her back in my day we didnt even have phones. Anyways, I tried kino with her by putting my hand on her lower back and she didn't pull away. But she wasn't giving me any indicators of interest at all. I told if she knows that older guys are better in bed than younger guys, she laughed and said she didn't know that. I told her to put her number in my phone and she declined. At one point I think I decided this was all for nothing because the conversation started to run dry so I asked her how my friend was doing with her friend. She said her friend doesn't usually talk with guys at bars. So I continue to keep the asian girl occupied with conversation so my friend can do his thing. Eventually after about a half hour I start getting irritated because I feel like this is a dead end and I wasn't seeing my friend get physical with his blonde. I eject to the bathroom to take a piss with the intention of coming back. I come back and start giving my friend signals that its time to eject. I asked them if they wanted to bounce with us to another venue. They decline saying they dont know what they want to do yet. I am getting more and more irritated because I feel like we wasting our fucking time on these girls. My friend is very persistent though and keep bulldozing through his girl and I think he got her number before we left.
My friend says I fucked things up by wanted to leave the set after 30 mins. I told him I disagree and I told him that girl had no interest in him. He thinks otherwise. I didnt see any kind of physically escalation the whole set from my friend and his chick. From my vantage point it looked pretty platonic. We bicker back and forth with each other a bit before moving onto the next set. I figure I gave him 30 mins to make the move on his chick so kinda peeved he wants to blame me for his failure of not pulling his woman. Told my friend I would bet him 20 bucks that if he texted that chick she wouldnt text him back. He never took me up on the bet.

5) Social 25 0 approaches ~2AM
Went to a loud dance club and did my usual dancefloor game of moving around the bar slowly and dancing every so often to songs I like.... trying to forcing iois from woman without any bites. Seems like most people were already paired up or in large tight dance circles. We stay here for about 30 mins before we deciced to bounce to another part of the city.

6) Girl waiting for a uber outside bar on division ~3AM
I go up to her and tap her on the shoulder asked her how her night is going. She immediately says I am creeping her out to her friend. Insta blowout.

7) Scummy 4 AM bar 0 approached ~4AM
Same thing there was nothing I saw that I wanted to approached so kinda just did my dance floor thing only stayed for like 10 mins. Ran into another wing and bullshitted with him for a bit.

8) Mcdonalds 5AM Hailmary 0 approached
same shit dead as fuck drop my buddy off and head home
 

Eternity

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
607
Location
With yo girl...
Intro: 36 years old. I've been going out now pretty consistently now for over a year and my results are very unsatisfying. I drive out from the burbs to the city of Chicago. My cold approach lay count was only like 6 girls for the whole year of 2019. I usually go out friday and saturday nights. I've been on like a 4 month cold streak now from cold approaching. I am trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. I could really use some mentorship.

I think I am a relatively average looking guy with a big build. I am 6'3 with a decent amount of muscle mass on me. I usually wear very basic v neck with jeans when I go out. Usually a nice pair of chelsea boots as well. I have a white spot on the right part of my face from a skin disorder that I had as a kid. It's a auto immune disease that took the pigment away from my skin cells as a kid.

h8theh8ers my pic

My Game: My game is usually going to loud places with a dancefloor and I try and get iois from girls but also just approaching cold. I like to get a nice buzz while going out to approach woman. It's difficult to do it completely sober.I seem to be only getting 2-3 clear cut iois from girls every night and I am usually not interested in those girls I get iois from. I definitely feel more comfortable approaching girls on the dancefloor. I am a introvert by nature but find myself able to have fun dancing to music regardless if I am getting the interest of ladies or not. Music puts me into a really good mood. I try and walk around the bar or club slowly and try and get into interactions with anybody to build social momentum.
My verbal game is very lacking so thats why I feel like going to loud places where you can only use non verbals mostly. I have a hard time spiking the emotions of woman. I tend to start feeling like I dont know what to say and some conversations turn to boring interview mode when that happens.

1) Do you guys think I am good enough looking to be trying this aggressive screening game?

2) Should I look into trying to cover up my white spot on my face with some sort of makeup? Do woman see this a genetic inferiority?

3) Do you guys think the tight v neck to show off my muscle mass as try hard? Should I switch the maybe dress shirts? Am i coming off as a meathead?

4) What should I follow to try and become more competent in my verbals with woman?

Bottom line I feel like 6 lays from cold approach in a year of going out is unacceptable. I feel as a big dude like me I should be doing way better.

Post an FR on the boards to see your style...
 

Eternity

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
607
Location
With yo girl...
1/11/2020 Field Report

1) First set with wing at Point and Feather.
Opened up a group of 5 woman and asked one off to the side how her night was going then tried to talk with the whole group. If the alpha female of the group was the really tall blonde that wouldn't turn around to talk with us. They said it was another member of the group. I was only really attracted to the tall blonde of the group who didn't turn around to interact with us. Ejected.,

2) Second group of woman at Point of Feather.
Opened up another big group of woman with the same tactic with talking with the one straggler off to the side. Then the rest of the group started interacting with us. I remember asking why they all love white claw so much because they all were drinking white claws. Asked if they were out for a special occasion and how they all knew each other. College friends blah blah blah. They weren't giving us nothing so I ejected.

3) Brunette @ Boss Bar with wing
We seen a two set from across the bar and I motioned my wing to follow me. Got to the other side of the bar and I opened with "I saw you from across the bar and thought you were really cute so I wanted to come over and introduce myself". We shook hands while exchanging names after that. I asked how they knew each other and if it was a special occasion. 3rd friend eventually showed up half way through the interaction and kinda of planted next to the girl I was talking to. She wasn't really giving me anything to work off of and the conversation hit a dead spot then the 3rd friend planted between me and my brunette. I ejected.

4) 30-40 mins set @ boss bar with wing that caused a argument between us after
Pre approach we decided my friend get a shot at the attractive blonde in the two set. I had a sorta clunky Chinese asian. My interaction with the asian girl was pretty decent but she pretty much told me from the start she wasnt attracted to me because of my age. She was a 22 year old girl. I told her to guess my age and she said 44 (bitch!). I try to make light of it by calling myself a dinosaur from the jurassic period. I asked her what the hell tinder and social media was?!?!? Told her back in my day we didnt even have phones. Anyways, I tried kino with her by putting my hand on her lower back and she didn't pull away. But she wasn't giving me any indicators of interest at all. I told if she knows that older guys are better in bed than younger guys, she laughed and said she didn't know that. I told her to put her number in my phone and she declined. At one point I think I decided this was all for nothing because the conversation started to run dry so I asked her how my friend was doing with her friend. She said her friend doesn't usually talk with guys at bars. So I continue to keep the asian girl occupied with conversation so my friend can do his thing. Eventually after about a half hour I start getting irritated because I feel like this is a dead end and I wasn't seeing my friend get physical with his blonde. I eject to the bathroom to take a piss with the intention of coming back. I come back and start giving my friend signals that its time to eject. I asked them if they wanted to bounce with us to another venue. They decline saying they dont know what they want to do yet. I am getting more and more irritated because I feel like we wasting our fucking time on these girls. My friend is very persistent though and keep bulldozing through his girl and I think he got her number before we left.
My friend says I fucked things up by wanted to leave the set after 30 mins. I told him I disagree and I told him that girl had no interest in him. He thinks otherwise. I didnt see any kind of physically escalation the whole set from my friend and his chick. From my vantage point it looked pretty platonic. We bicker back and forth with each other a bit before moving onto the next set. I figure I gave him 30 mins to make the move on his chick so kinda peeved he wants to blame me for his failure of not pulling his woman. Told my friend I would bet him 20 bucks that if he texted that chick she wouldnt text him back. He never took me up on the bet.

5) Social 25 0 approaches ~2AM
Went to a loud dance club and did my usual dancefloor game of moving around the bar slowly and dancing every so often to songs I like.... trying to forcing iois from woman without any bites. Seems like most people were already paired up or in large tight dance circles. We stay here for about 30 mins before we deciced to bounce to another part of the city.

6) Girl waiting for a uber outside bar on division ~3AM
I go up to her and tap her on the shoulder asked her how her night is going. She immediately says I am creeping her out to her friend. Insta blowout.

7) Scummy 4 AM bar 0 approached ~4AM
Same thing there was nothing I saw that I wanted to approached so kinda just did my dance floor thing only stayed for like 10 mins. Ran into another wing and bullshitted with him for a bit.

8) Mcdonalds 5AM Hailmary 0 approached
same shit dead as fuck drop my buddy off and head home
Make this an FR on the boards to get more feedback on it...
 

greenleaf

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
106
Nice FR. Sounds extremely similar to my weekend!

Got laid a few weekends back so was feeling good, but I was just talking to brick walls all night. Girls who simply weren't attracted to me and who had no desire to sit and talk to a random dude.

I often wish I had 'better' material to help me through the first few mins of the convo to help 'hook', although I think deep down that it likely wouldn't help much as most of the sets that don't even get off the ground feel like it's more to do with her and her lack of physical attraction and willingness to talk to random strangers than anything else
 

h8tehh8ers

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Messages
15
1/18/2020 Frigid Arctic Night

1) 3 young girls at boss bar
Hit up one of my favorite more chill type dive bars and seen a few of my running mates there. The two of them were in a three set for a long time before I joined in on it. Started talking with the girl that my friend was chatting with for a long time. I asked her how her night was going and how they all knew each other. They were all in their early 20's. I bullshitted with the friend for a little bit with some light kino putting my hand on her back to see how she reacted. I wasn't attracted to this girl but would have bit the bullet for friends. She seemed really friendly with me and asked me if I thought her friend was cute. I told her yes that her friend was very attractive. I took that as a hint that I should go over there and talk with the friend but since my other friend were already talking with her friends, I didn't do it. Eventually, I started to get bored talking with the friend and went over to the others and asked if they all wanted to bounce with us to another venue. I figure since my friends were already talking with this group for a least a hour plus, it was time to make some sort of move. I was watching the interactions from afar and they were looking very platonic from my point of view. I took it upon myself the shake it up. All the girls started talking with each other for a bit but then the alpha of the group declined my invitation. The girl that I was chatting with seemed very open to move to another venue. After they declined, my friends decided to stay talking with them but I decided it was time to move on.

Thoughts: Do guys really sit in sets that long to get laid? How can you talk for that long without making a move? I feel like its a waste of time. I felt the urge to make something happen so thats why I asked them all the bounce with us to another venue. Is it not better to just get physical with these girls relatively soon in the conversation and find out if they down or not? Feels like such a waste of time sitting in ONE set for so long. They were pretty hot though but still....

2) Joined another friend and hit up a danceclub ~12:30ish Beautiful Frenchie
I start doing my typical slow walk around the club fishing for ioi's and girls of interest. I didnt see much on the top floor so I decided to go down below. My friend is more of a verbal guy so he hates going to dancefloor type venues because its impossible to really have a conversation unless you pull them to this one quiet spot with a couch. We head downstairs and right away I see two woman alone at the bar. A french girl and a black girl. I tell my friend I got the white girl. I approach her betting her that the waiter would serve me first. She playfully told me that no way that would happen because she is a pretty frenchie. I end up winning because I knew the bartender and go there all the time. She starts laughing and we really hit it off from there. Within a 5 mins of the interaction I got her holding hands with me and I am up really close with her waist to waist trying to get her out on the dancefloor with him. She refused because she says so dont like people watching her dance. I make a joke and ask if its because white french girls cant dance, she says she can dance but doesnt want me to watch her while she dances?!?! I just give her a puzzled look. Maybe thats why she was on the bottom floor with very little people down there. At this point I noticed the black friend is gone and my friend is nowhere to be seen. Anyways we keep hitting it off really good talking about how sexy I think the french accent is and I try and start adding some sexuality into the conversation. I whisper into her ear if she is a good french kisser being that she is french and all. I ask her whats the most important thing to do when french kissing somebody. She said not too much saliva and I tell her I already know that, thats all you got for me? I kid around with her and tell her she must not be a very good kisser. She takes the bait and starts to get into a really detailed conversation about her you french kiss somebody. While she was explaining the keys to being a good french kisser I purposely got closer to her. All the sudden I see the black friend coming down the stairs and before I knew what hit me, she yanks her friend away from me and they just walk upstairs. I dont chase. END. Very frustrated ending there!

Thoughts: This was about 20 mins down the drain. I feel like I should have gotten her number or something when I noticed that her black friend vanished and I couldnt find my friend. It was super frustrating that she got yanked away from me because I was feeling she was very much interested in me. Big Eyes, allowed me to agressively kino her, big smile. What could I have done differently here?

3) Girl at danceclub on the bottom floor
We see two girls in the corner of the bottom floor of the danceclub. My friend goes for the girl in the corner sitting down and I start trying to dance with the one on the dancefloor. We start dancing with each other and she is moving around like she is some sort of professional dancer and I am just doing my normal slow dance floor moves. Eventually she seems to start slowing down from all the crazy hectic shit she was doing and she starts grinding on me a little bit. I am dance with a slow sexual pace like how I usually do it. I put my arms around here and start whispering in her eye and nibbling a bit on her neck. She seems very receptive of my advances. I try the skills having her grind on my dominate leg thing and she seems into it. A few times I go in like I am going to try and kiss her but at the last second whisper something into her ears. She tried to kiss me when I did this but I pulled way to tease it out. In this venue there is a quiet spot with a couch and a photo booth so I decide after dancing with her like 10 mins
to take her hand and lead her there. I get her all the way to the spot but when she say the couch she started walking back to the dancefloor. I go back and ask her why she left? She said she doesn't want to make out. I play dumb as say I didnt want to make out with you but to talk since thats the only place that you can really have a conversation. After this things just were different... she kept looking around for her friend who I think was in the bathroom. I get the feeling this isnt going to happen, so I just leave her.

4) Boss Bar Twin looking married brunettes 3:00a
We headed back to the dive bar because my friend didn't like the dance floor club. I see another dude I was talking with earlier talking to two older brunettes. They both have drinks in their hands and looking very DTF. I join them and introduce myself to the girls. I ask them how their night was going and what they were drinking. They both have jack and diet cokes and I joke around with them that they trying to be healthy using diet coke as the mixer versus regular coke. I break off to the brunette that the guy from earlier wasnt talking to and she complimented me on my big arms. I let her touch them as i flex them. I looked around the bar and said there looks to be alot of sketchy individuals here tonight and asked her if she needed a body guard for the night. I told her I would be her kevin costner for the night. I start getting really up on her now putting my hands on her lower back and she complies and we keep chit chatting. At one point I just grabbed her drink and she didn't mind me drinking some of it. Kino got more and more aggressive to the point of I had both hands around her waist. Then she said that she was married and that I was barking up the wrong tree. She then flashed the wedding ring and then her twin looking friend showed her ring as well. I dont react to it and just keep trying to keep the kino up and conversation flowing. Then at one point she turned her back to me toward the bar and I just ended it there.

Thoughts: Should I have hung in there maybe with these girls? It was 3 am in the morning so it was getting down to the end of the night. Were these girls just looking for attention or were they looking for a fuck? Last cock standing?

5) Drive to another part of the city 0 approaches
We get to this other usually busy street of the city around 3:30 but its pretty much a ghost town and didnt see any woman to approach. It was pretty slim pickings at this point.

6) Hit up the local late night taco place
Same shit its completely dead.

End of the night.
 
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