- Joined
- Jul 14, 2013
- Messages
- 230
The night began with me reluctantly making a face-mask as part of my Halloween costume. It's interesting that my mind frequently starts second-guessing my ability to achieve results just before I go out at night ("why am I doing this?", "is this gonna work?"). I finally ventured out around 10 PM. My costume was such that it was easy for me to assume the personality of my character, perfect for Halloween night gaming. I saw two girls walking towards me. They were dressed in cliche girl costumes. I put my mask on and initiated conversation in a loud, dominant tone. They got a kick out of it and stopped dead in their tracks. Unfortunately, I made the holes for the eyes on my mask too small, and I couldn't get my bearings, so I stalled just enough for one of the girls to ask:
Now that I think back on it, I can't help but laugh to myself. Silly girl But yesterday, it did put me in my head and amazed me how girls are at times able to pinpoint things we are insecure about. One of the excuses my brain was cooking as I was walking to the bar was "I'm gonna be one of those losers going out by myself on Halloween night".
It's a jovial mood at the bar when I get to it. Lots of people dressed in original costumes, party vibes. There's a talented band playing covers with gusto. Since it was early, my plan was to just be social, speak to as many people as possible and plant seeds for later on in the night. I recently discovered that night-game has certain stages. The odds of taking a girl home in the 1st stage of the night are low, even if they girl digs you, because no matter what, she wants to dance, drink, have other guys hit on her.
My costume made it really easy to start conversations with guys and ladies. I was full-on in value-adding mode. When I got tired of going thru the club speaking with people, I went to the dance floor. Typically, I'm pretty self-conscious of dancing when I don't like the music (and I typically don't like the kind of music you'd hear at your average bar or top 40 dance club). However, here I had the benefit of a good band and the fact that I was assuming an entirely different persona with my costume. People around me got quite a kick out of silly dances when they realized who I was dressed as.
At a certain point, I noticed a cute girl standing next to me, dancing. I opened Lea and she was really into the dancing. She wound up dancing in front of me and I would occasionally put my hand on her hips, twirl her or grind a bit with her. We didn't speak much - the music was loud and it was a bit of a challenge for me to go from my Halloween-costume persona to my "regular" self. In the back of my mind, I kept saying to myself, the night is young, dance with her a bit, then keep going around, planting more seeds, talking with more people. I got tired and excused myself to get a drink on the 2nd floor bar. By the time I came back, as expected, Lea had some other dude courting her. I was pretty sure Lea was at the bar by herself.
The music was still pumping, so I kept dancing. Eventually, a girl in a Beetlejuice(?) costume started dancing in front of me, which I interpreted as a signal to approach. I went through the dancing, twirling, grinding routine and was starting to get pretty horny. We made out a little bit. All the while, I kept seeing Lea in the corner of my field of vision dancing and being courted by some guy.
I went up again to the 2nd floor and opened three girls who were sitting in a booth, looking a little bit bored. I went through my canned Halloween routine with pizazz. In my opener, I basically introduce myself and then ask the other person in a dominant way who they are. Perfect as it forces people to qualify themselves. Well, the pretty/bitchy leader of the group wasn't having that when I finally asked her:
I then moved onto asking the last friend who she was and then ejected from the set. Almost as soon as I did, I realized that this girl was likely horny and that I should have said something along the lines of:
I then chatted with a lady who I had opened earlier on in the night and who was interested in me to the extent she asked for my number. Of course, I wasn't attracted to her. I know on an intellectual level to push interactions with these types of girls in order to practice. But I just can't force myself to do it if the attraction isn't there. Thoughts?
Aside from dancing and starting conversations as my assumed character, I did open up a couple of girls in my traditional direct manner:
After that though, I wasn't successful in establishing sexual tension and push/pull. We talked a little bit about mundane stuff and the conversations would peter out. Perhaps it's because the music is loud and really the only thing one CAN do is be physical. In the case of the girls who I opened up like this, they were not overly into the music, so I couldn't suddenly start grinding with them. Instead, it would have probably been best to just be physically dominant and playful while continuing the mundane talk and then moving them. Moving girls is a sticking point.
It was going on 2 AM when I saw Lea again. The band just had finished playing Creep by Radiohead. I found her in front of me again, and I realized that I should just go for the pull.
I grab her hand and lead the way, she stops me to close her tab. There's distance between us at first and I realize "you dummy, get close to her, hug her". I put my hand on her waist as she waits to close out and we banter about random shit.
I've got one thing on my mind: LOGISTICS.
We walk out of the bar hugging and chatting. Just as I see that there are no cabs outside of the bar as I was expecting, she asks about logistics. I tell her we should take her car. She apologizes for it being messy, I tease.
We get home and I put her up against the wall in the elevator and we kiss passionately. Love doing that! Inside the apartment, she asks for a glass of water. I sit on the loveseat in the living room and beckon her. We make out here for less than 5 minutes and I then lead her into the bedroom, talking dirty. We're both super-horny now. It takes me some time to take off my costume. It's an amazing feeling to finally go at it.
I ate her out a little first. I tend not to be aggressive with girls I just met initially, maybe I'm a softie. I want to please her first, then think about myself. But she stopped me at a certain point, saying she wanted to kiss, which we did. I took that as a sign she was ready to go and put it in. Despite me not wanting to come, I really couldn't hold it back, it felt so good!
We chatted after the first time, but she was falling asleep. We called it a night, but I couldn't sleep for some reason. It was as if I had blue balls, even though I came. I think it may have been the novelty of having a new person in my bed. It turned out she wasn't sleeping either..... Probably another 1.5 hours passed, and we went at it again, this time doggy-style. Once again, it felt so good, I just couldn't hold back, despite the Kegel exercises I've been doing on-and-off for the past couple of months. She seemed to be enjoying it too and later told me that she orgasmed (after reading the book I Love Female Orgasm, I'm wary of this because it's actually statistically unusual for a girl to come from vaginal intercourse on the first time). But I did wish I would have lasted longer.
She needed to get home in the morning but was blatantly delaying leaving. We started to go at it again, but my member went limp just as she was on top of me about to put it in. Darn it! Still, we had a marvelous time.
You could see that there was no need for sexual intrigue, objection-handling, etc in this interaction. Just a recognition of what the girl wanted and screening for logistics. That's luck. I do want to work on sexual intrigue and objection-handling. Also, I was able to maintain momentum in the 1st part of the night relatively easily because I could effortlessly strike up conversations with anybody in the bar because of my costume. It's harder doing this without the crutch of the costume and drinking (I decided not to drink when I game). What are some practical ways to establish this momentum by talking with everyone (ex. coming up to guys and striking up genuine convos with them) and not getting in my head (which is usually what happens).
Also, the interaction with the bitchy leader highlights the idea that I can be clever when I'm in a lighthearted mood, but my "regular" self is used to answering challenges in a logical "male" way that doesn't get anywhere with women. I need to create new neural pathways to have fun, not take girls challenges seriously and remain playful, non-confrontational and cool. I appreciate any advice for practicing this without assuming different persona (no peacocking). Perhaps it's just a matter of experiencing these situations and creating new reference points.
All in all, it was a fun and educational night! Also, it was my first real result since I broke up with my ex and went cold turkey from my porn addiction.
Now that I think back on it, I can't help but laugh to myself. Silly girl But yesterday, it did put me in my head and amazed me how girls are at times able to pinpoint things we are insecure about. One of the excuses my brain was cooking as I was walking to the bar was "I'm gonna be one of those losers going out by myself on Halloween night".
It's a jovial mood at the bar when I get to it. Lots of people dressed in original costumes, party vibes. There's a talented band playing covers with gusto. Since it was early, my plan was to just be social, speak to as many people as possible and plant seeds for later on in the night. I recently discovered that night-game has certain stages. The odds of taking a girl home in the 1st stage of the night are low, even if they girl digs you, because no matter what, she wants to dance, drink, have other guys hit on her.
My costume made it really easy to start conversations with guys and ladies. I was full-on in value-adding mode. When I got tired of going thru the club speaking with people, I went to the dance floor. Typically, I'm pretty self-conscious of dancing when I don't like the music (and I typically don't like the kind of music you'd hear at your average bar or top 40 dance club). However, here I had the benefit of a good band and the fact that I was assuming an entirely different persona with my costume. People around me got quite a kick out of silly dances when they realized who I was dressed as.
At a certain point, I noticed a cute girl standing next to me, dancing. I opened Lea and she was really into the dancing. She wound up dancing in front of me and I would occasionally put my hand on her hips, twirl her or grind a bit with her. We didn't speak much - the music was loud and it was a bit of a challenge for me to go from my Halloween-costume persona to my "regular" self. In the back of my mind, I kept saying to myself, the night is young, dance with her a bit, then keep going around, planting more seeds, talking with more people. I got tired and excused myself to get a drink on the 2nd floor bar. By the time I came back, as expected, Lea had some other dude courting her. I was pretty sure Lea was at the bar by herself.
The music was still pumping, so I kept dancing. Eventually, a girl in a Beetlejuice(?) costume started dancing in front of me, which I interpreted as a signal to approach. I went through the dancing, twirling, grinding routine and was starting to get pretty horny. We made out a little bit. All the while, I kept seeing Lea in the corner of my field of vision dancing and being courted by some guy.
I went up again to the 2nd floor and opened three girls who were sitting in a booth, looking a little bit bored. I went through my canned Halloween routine with pizazz. In my opener, I basically introduce myself and then ask the other person in a dominant way who they are. Perfect as it forces people to qualify themselves. Well, the pretty/bitchy leader of the group wasn't having that when I finally asked her:
I then moved onto asking the last friend who she was and then ejected from the set. Almost as soon as I did, I realized that this girl was likely horny and that I should have said something along the lines of:
... and given her a hug. Then chatted only with her (the 2 friends were sitting across from her in the booth). Any advice for ways to proceed is much appreciated.
I then chatted with a lady who I had opened earlier on in the night and who was interested in me to the extent she asked for my number. Of course, I wasn't attracted to her. I know on an intellectual level to push interactions with these types of girls in order to practice. But I just can't force myself to do it if the attraction isn't there. Thoughts?
Aside from dancing and starting conversations as my assumed character, I did open up a couple of girls in my traditional direct manner:
After that though, I wasn't successful in establishing sexual tension and push/pull. We talked a little bit about mundane stuff and the conversations would peter out. Perhaps it's because the music is loud and really the only thing one CAN do is be physical. In the case of the girls who I opened up like this, they were not overly into the music, so I couldn't suddenly start grinding with them. Instead, it would have probably been best to just be physically dominant and playful while continuing the mundane talk and then moving them. Moving girls is a sticking point.
It was going on 2 AM when I saw Lea again. The band just had finished playing Creep by Radiohead. I found her in front of me again, and I realized that I should just go for the pull.
I grab her hand and lead the way, she stops me to close her tab. There's distance between us at first and I realize "you dummy, get close to her, hug her". I put my hand on her waist as she waits to close out and we banter about random shit.
I've got one thing on my mind: LOGISTICS.
We walk out of the bar hugging and chatting. Just as I see that there are no cabs outside of the bar as I was expecting, she asks about logistics. I tell her we should take her car. She apologizes for it being messy, I tease.
We get home and I put her up against the wall in the elevator and we kiss passionately. Love doing that! Inside the apartment, she asks for a glass of water. I sit on the loveseat in the living room and beckon her. We make out here for less than 5 minutes and I then lead her into the bedroom, talking dirty. We're both super-horny now. It takes me some time to take off my costume. It's an amazing feeling to finally go at it.
I ate her out a little first. I tend not to be aggressive with girls I just met initially, maybe I'm a softie. I want to please her first, then think about myself. But she stopped me at a certain point, saying she wanted to kiss, which we did. I took that as a sign she was ready to go and put it in. Despite me not wanting to come, I really couldn't hold it back, it felt so good!
We chatted after the first time, but she was falling asleep. We called it a night, but I couldn't sleep for some reason. It was as if I had blue balls, even though I came. I think it may have been the novelty of having a new person in my bed. It turned out she wasn't sleeping either..... Probably another 1.5 hours passed, and we went at it again, this time doggy-style. Once again, it felt so good, I just couldn't hold back, despite the Kegel exercises I've been doing on-and-off for the past couple of months. She seemed to be enjoying it too and later told me that she orgasmed (after reading the book I Love Female Orgasm, I'm wary of this because it's actually statistically unusual for a girl to come from vaginal intercourse on the first time). But I did wish I would have lasted longer.
She needed to get home in the morning but was blatantly delaying leaving. We started to go at it again, but my member went limp just as she was on top of me about to put it in. Darn it! Still, we had a marvelous time.
You could see that there was no need for sexual intrigue, objection-handling, etc in this interaction. Just a recognition of what the girl wanted and screening for logistics. That's luck. I do want to work on sexual intrigue and objection-handling. Also, I was able to maintain momentum in the 1st part of the night relatively easily because I could effortlessly strike up conversations with anybody in the bar because of my costume. It's harder doing this without the crutch of the costume and drinking (I decided not to drink when I game). What are some practical ways to establish this momentum by talking with everyone (ex. coming up to guys and striking up genuine convos with them) and not getting in my head (which is usually what happens).
Also, the interaction with the bitchy leader highlights the idea that I can be clever when I'm in a lighthearted mood, but my "regular" self is used to answering challenges in a logical "male" way that doesn't get anywhere with women. I need to create new neural pathways to have fun, not take girls challenges seriously and remain playful, non-confrontational and cool. I appreciate any advice for practicing this without assuming different persona (no peacocking). Perhaps it's just a matter of experiencing these situations and creating new reference points.
All in all, it was a fun and educational night! Also, it was my first real result since I broke up with my ex and went cold turkey from my porn addiction.
Ray