Socializing Handling teasing in group situations

[BarryS1]

I am reading through the Journeyman's Guide from the GC quiz and I am stuck on Day 9: Real Value.

The article on an alpha male discusses making a list of things I can't tolerate from people. Here's the link: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-be-alpha-male-without-becoming-stereotype.

I am jumping into social circle after a 1 1/2 break of being reclusive, but am still thinking about the past. I was a complete push-over nice guy a year ago and had problems being picked-on in group situations. I came up with a list of things I cannot tolerate, but do not know the correct way to defend myself. I understand a lot of it comes from the way I frame myself and invest in others, but wanted to be extra pre-cautious. I have read the passive-asshole material on the main site and understand to not offer favors unless reciprocated in return or fall for fishing complements.

How can I handle the situations below?

Things I can’t tolerate from groups (guys & girls)

Teasing:
-People teasing me on a topic for more than 2 times in a conversation (won’t jump the shark).
-People teasing once about my family (ex dating my sister or thinking my mom is hot).
-People teasing about my race several times during a conversation (racism is old).

Conversations:
-People complaining about several problems in one sitting (aka ranting).
-People bragging about themselves and comparing to me.

Things I can’t tolerate from girls

Teasing:
-Teasing me on any topic for more than 2 times in a conversation (won’t jump the shark).
-Teasing me about my body - lack of chest hair, thin wrists
-Teasing about my personality - being weird and quirky

Conversations:
-Girls complaining about several problems in one sitting (aka ranting).
-Girls telling me their guy problems (this hasn’t happened with the girls I am attracted to - just female friends).

I was looking on the GC main site and couldn't find any articles related to this. If anyone can direct me to a thread I'd greatly appreciate it!

 

[Pmfroy]

Hi Barry,

Personally, in your situation the law of least effort is your friend (it kinda always is your friend). When people are teasing you like that or are being rude, I would use the skeptical look or the bored look. Chase has a couple of articles on that.

If that doesn't work, then ask the person to stop or get out, but don't make it into ab big deal. If the teasing contines you could call out the person teasing you, saying something along the lines of "I already asked you to stop. You should stop making a jackass out of yourself. Your character is showing".

While I haven't been in a situation such as yours, I wouldn't exactly know how to handle it. It depends on the setting and how well you know the people. I understand where you're coming from though and I wish you luck! Hope things work out

 

[BarryS1]

Hey Phfroy, thanks for your help! A lot of this stuff is hard to digest right now b/c I never had a strong sense of social calibration. Now that I am started to break things down, I am getting a feel for group dynamics.

Personally, in your situation the law of least effort is your friend (it kinda always is your friend). When people are teasing you like that or are being rude, I would use the skeptical look or the bored look. Chase has a couple of articles on that.

I know what you mean because I started reacting less to things and watching convo topics blow away. If I get hung up on a topic in the group, everyone starts pressing in on it. If I make a quick comment, let it go, and change the subject - no one brings it up again!

Its really a mind blower how simple it is to get out of a bad situation like that. I think I was such a big pushover that people didn't respect me and knew they could get away with anything. I started getting into social circle the last month and haven't had anything that bad happening yet. If It does, I'll try out your method!