Cutting contact and lawyer up is usually the best call.
Interesting how so many guys keep asking such questions, since in my 12 years of experience I have never had any woman claiming that I have harrased or raped her or any of her friends. Most girls seems to give me a good vibe post sex when I meet them again and so do their friends. On rare occasions they ignore me a bit out of "awkwardness" from her side, but that's ok.
I feel some of you are doing things terrible wrong to even get into such situations in the first place. This includes you Hue. Your stories are just so weird and alien to me. Non of my experienced seducer friends have ever had any stories resembling yours.
You may want to think about it.
Well Teevster, I feel as though that's oversimplying the problem. Sure, if you're trying to err on making things as safe as possible for yourself then you may as well just remove alcohol or substances from the equation entirely, especially during seductions that take place in or near college universities.
To date, every story I've heard of these sort of experiences came from college campuses. Both of the stories I mention here come from the same year while I was an undergraduate, with other undergraduates.
Actually, I just found both of the posts I'm referring to. Here's the thread from the more threatening accusation, "
"Quit trying to rape drunk girls" accusation (Gunwitch actually came in and commented) and here's the
LR of the night her friend made a stupid and silly comment on.
There is slut shaming within college universities. It is very, very common for girls to say things as to not appear a slut (as I'm sure you know). In college, social circle and reputation are extremely important to people, so they make up things to defend their outward image and - in addition - give them a story to believe for themselves. There's also a narrative against masculinity right now, and men in general. Men become framed as doing terrible shit to women when the situation (when the
reality) was more nuanced than this -
it's no new idea. That is reverse rationalization in a nutshell, and it's unfortunate that you see that phenomena present beyond just a girl going into auto-rejection (or when it happens in more positive ways like a girl rationalizing after sex on the first date the guy really was uniquely special). It can turn into a total disaster and it can be damn infuriating if you're involved. As Gunwitch put it, "this female sex hysteria is getting repulsive".
The only thing that I consider doing wrong was some technical mistakes I made.
My invite upstairs wasn't discrete to the one girl (and it was HER birthday party with all of her friends there), so I did so in a way that put her social reputation on the line. Given the context, that's a dumb mistake in my game. It was not calibrated.
The girl that I did sleep with (the one visiting) - we eventually stopped because I couldn't maintain an erection. I remember laughing at myself for "being a fuckboy" to the girl before she left. That's an absolutely terrible frame, she didn't have a good sexual experience and I didn't cater to her emotions much at all afterwards. I also said I had weed, and definitely did not lol. When I saw her friend who lived in town, she giggled about the situation - it was not an accusation like some of the others you hear about and is why she immediately agreed.
These situations, one very provoking and one pretty light-hearted still taught me important lessons. When you remain discrete enough that a girl doesn't have to worry about her reputation, the problem of possibly cheating on your boyfriend and what everyone (including him) will think diminishes in her head. And, when you properly handle frame control after sleeping with a girl, she'll probably be much more pleasant with you.
So no, I did not do anything terribly wrong, and I certainly didn't commit anything close to assault. I believe more than anything, this is a cultural issue coming over in a wave right now. If you choose to completely err on the side of caution, then it is always safer to not involve substances much at all when it comes to seduction. During undergraduate there is a mix of horny young adults, drinking, immaturity, and inexperience. With the culture that exists right now, it can be a dangerous cocktail for some. And yes, it's important to be aware of what learning seduction, as an undergraduate, when you're 18-22 and amongst culturally sensitive, young, and immature individuals might turn into... it's important to be careful.
