Having big issues with friends leeching energy and poaching girls I am with

[Sam101]

So the situation often is, I am having good time with one of the girls and all out of nowhere a random friend with next to none social skill (this recent guy was even married) approaches and starts bugging me with useless crap hoping for some leftovers. Girl turns away, shows disinterest (lost attraction because I have given someone else the attention), then the guy who messed stuff up persists for a few moments before walking away from a situation he ruined.

I can restart the attraction with a girl, that isn't the issue. Problem arises, because my energy level went way down and my investment has gone way up. This is really a bad thing. I am no longer in control of the situation as well as that guy poisoning the atmosphere with his bitterness and hopelessness.

Trouble is: How to prevent loosing energy level, how to prevent getting approached by these kind of people.
My solution often was: Go out alone & 0 fucks given if you are a friend or not
But sometimes situations with friends around are non avoidable
The other serious question is: Do they smell weakness in my approach, why are they sensing an opportunity ?

Second situation is, guy approaches like he's the hottest thing on the cinder. No issue fighting that off.
What interests me is that girls get 'turned on' for a moment. Are they really all that free-flowing as they act/are ?
Are they being just friendly ? I am unable to asses such situations, can someone give me an idea what that is about ?
If I raise unavailability to such people, I also raise it for girls which will in turn produce weaker results, is that the right thing to do, setting a compromise and accepting I won't always get what I want so no need to get pissed about it ?

 

[Whizzy]

Hi Sam101!

Use this as a perfect situation to move the girl if she is attracted enough to you, this may be able to restore some of your energy (small victories my friend, and act as a perfect excuse to go elsewhere

She might be turned on for a moment but if she immediately tunes back in to Sam101 radio, then I wouldn't fret about it too deeply

 

[Estate]

Man, I've been there. Just stop hanging out with them.... I know, I know... they are friends, blah blah... but I've dealt with enough of these guys to know they are not real friends, friends won't do that to you. Drop them.

Guys I've hung with and had to drop, they will never change:
- Guys who won't approach or talk to anyone outsite our immediate group but will tear you to shreds if you do approach.
- Guys who have to be center of attention ALWAYS... i.e. YOU approach the girl and they swoop in acting like a dancing monkey to get attention, girl is weirded out and leaves.
- Guys are are ridiculously jealous of ANY success, even just a girl looking your way, nevermind anything else.
- Guy who just try to tear you down with snide remarks constantly.
- One guy who calls EVERY guy he hangs with that approaches women a cock-block. Same guy, I've never seen talk to a woman ever. If we are literally in the same room as a woman, I am apparently cock-blocking him, even if I don't even interact with the girl.
- Guys who'll tell you every woman you meet, talk to, date, bang is ugly, has problems, etc, etc...

They won't change.

 

[Sam101]

Hahaha Whizzy, that is such an awesome reply, even using the distraction as an opportunity to move, brilliant

Estate: It appears I am basically at a decision point you were a couple of months/years before moving away from those friends and those circles. ... I just realized I am their friend because everyone else that had a brain has run away.
They tick most of the issues you mentioned.

And it is unusual to think about them, but it boils down to that they have very low actual quality, they approach by lowering the value of girls and their mates as well as bragging about everything (something that works on insecure people I've noticed)

I completely missed the warning signs, even his gf asking me how can I even handle him....

In those 5 years, they haven't changed a bit.
An old rule applies again, they won't change.

 

[StoicMind]

I'm 5'8 my best was friend is 6'5, even if he didn't try with a height like that he could walk into any situation and leach energy, especially for the fact that he is loud, but he is also attention seeking. I use that to my advantage, by bringing it to the girls attention that he's seeking attention and/or has no social grace. You can't not see him or hear him coming so when I know he's inbound, If we are at a party and I'm talking to a girl, I'll say something like, "Oh, this guys (crooked smile), he's so crazy watch this" and without fail he'll come around and say/ do something stupid which me and her can both laugh at. It's kind of messed up but I consider it him being my wing man without him knowing it. I've told him I do this too, which resulted in him not acting stupid as much anymore. by doing that you are placing yourself at a higher standard and showing your dominance, in my opinion.

 

[Sam101]

@StoicMind

I'll try this out on the next occasion
Thanks