Help get Girl at Work

[Ricardocasey]

Ok guys, here’s one complicated one for you... please help.

I was sleeping with a co-worker for a year and half, but thought I had no feelings for her at the time, I played the field and eventually picked up a different girl and ended up stopping everything for the new girl, my co-worker was devastated! Around 9 months later I randomly started to have intense feeling for my co-worker who frustratingly I see every day. I made a few mistakes of telling he girl at work how I felt whilst I was in my relationship with my girlfriend, and around a month ago I told her that I liked her but again I was in a relationship and she was quite cold towards my advances, I know I shudnt of brought anything up. She went away on holiday, and me and my girlfriend ended so we are now both single.

On her return she was more open and flirty towards me and things at work seemed like they were intensifying for a week, then the next week comes and she is cold and distant and says two words to me in a day, so she blows very hot and cold.

I has suspicions that something was going on with another work colleague that is close to me, as they seem very flirty towards each other at work! I called her out on it, again stupidly, but I was convinced and didn’t want that under my nose, I told her to show me her messages etc, it appeared that nothing was going on (unless she is very clever and deleted certain messages) she burst out crying and wanted to storm off, I wouldn’t let her, I cuddled her and said, it’s because I care about you, I said that partly it’s her fault as she gives such mixed signals. She agreed and said I do it too.

She then went on to tell me that last week she had a sexual dream about me and that she told her friend, who now constantly asks her if she’s slept with me yet. I said that’s strange as before holiday who said you didn’t like me, to which she replied that she has “under the service feelings” for me! Which I don’t understand what that means! She has an ex husband and she mentioned that he hates me which is important to her, I replied and said don’t worry about that, I’m not asking to be with you and I’m not interested in a relationship at the moment.

I said to her let’s just go and and have fun together that’s all I want to do, nothing more, she said she was worried about meeting up and seeing each other as she feels that we would end up having sex! So I said that I would control that and not allow it. So eventually she has agreed to come out with me on Wednesday to London, but said there’s nothing in it. Obviously it’s funny as she’s saying multiple different things all the time. So I don’t know where this leaves me, it’s been so up and down for months, it’s so hard at work. She even says if I don’t smile at her in the morning she knows what type of day it’s going to be and she has to take an anxiety tablet, I literally didn’t realise I had such an effect of this girl.

When we flirt it’s quite intense and full on and fun, but when we are not flirting it’s so cold between us. One day/week can vary so much, with our actions.

Thoughts on this please guys!

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Ricardocasey dude! Am not actually sure what part of this ya looking on thoughts for? In the background of ya story ya have made some bad mistakes, but ya have got her to come out with ya so ya have recovered or she's giving ya a chance. Not sure which but that doesn't matter ya have her out an that's important!

Her being hot an cold is just a game, either way she's trying to get ya attention. Currently in the limbo ya in she's doing it cause she doesn't know where ya stand. Ya can fix this by leading an directing it when ya go out together.

Just run ya normal date, deep dive an escalate. She'll most likely shit test ya on this date. Use sexual tension to cut through it an step back on the escalation if ya have to. Ya told her no sex, but ya gonna push for it anyway! She's out with ya knowing it'll lead to it... if it doesn't it doesn't but the aim is to cement ya relationship with her as being sexual!! Chase frame it that she wants it and ya innocent in this.

Ya need to own ya frame throughout the date an be as warm as ya can to create comfort with this. Make sure ya break the touch barrier an let her know ya not there to be friends. That's not what ya want!

Good luck dude!!