Here is the deal. I'm a confident but not overly confident man. I am 26 years old. I can say that I am a good looking guy, not a brad pitt but above average. I am a second year graduate student in International Finance. I snowboard and longboard, go to lots of live music shows, and usually make people laugh. What I'm saying is that these girls out here should have plenty of reasons to be interested in me and when I make a run at them I don't usually have success. I want to give an example of my last try. I was on the train and a beautiful girl was sitting across from me. She wasn't smiling and didn't look very approachable. I wrote on a notepad "you should smile more." She brightened up like a light bulb and we started having the usual conversation. Very quickly into the conversation I asked "how about you give me your number", she responded "maybe", with a grin on her face. After some more conversation and getting off the train we walked together as we were going the same way (I didn't know where she was walking, it was with-me not the other way around as far as I was concerned). We got outside of a restaurant and she said "this is where i work, hopefully I will see you around." No mention of her phone number. I didn't want to come on too strong or desperate so just replied "have a nice day" Later in the evening I just thought that I was getting enough clues that it should have went better. I went to her work (she is a hostess at a restaurant very close to my house) (easy to approach she's right at the door) i wrote my name and number on a piece of paper and handed it to her. she smiled and said "talk to you soon". I have not heard from this girl and it is 3 days later. I am just using this as it is a good and the most recent example of how things almost always go for me. what is the problem? she was giving me good signals. I already explained that I'm a desirable man for many reasons. WHAT CAN I DO TO CORRECT THIS???? WHAT WENT WRONG????
Ahh a new 1 post guy. Hey there buddy, let me let you in on something that can change your life... Ask anyone here that has been for a while and really pushes their limits.. To most people it's called "Game".
Game is something that when you get it(I don't mean get it as something tangible you can hold or own, I mean really that you understand it and can see it for it's entirety) it will will have the ability to bring you to levels you never thought were possible.
After reading your big paragraph wall of text I saw something I've seen over and over again.. I know you're frustrated that your attempt didn't work, but here's a reframe for you and the way you should look at your interactions with women from now on:
1 What did work?
2 What did you learn?
I'll tell you right now the chances of you ever having sex with this girl is about 99% chance you never will, especially before you're labeled as a stalker, or creep, or psycho, whatever emotional label she decides to peg you as. One thing I noticed is you talked a lot about yourself in the intro part of your text wall, you said you are this you are that bla bla bla, well you know what? I do all those things, not only do I do all those things, but I do them better than you. Not only do I do those things but I also can do even more, not only that but my dick is 10 inches! Not really, but I hope you understand what I mean.. It doesn't really matter what you can do because if you don't have your fundamentals correct or every response out of your mouth is "oh nice!" "wow that's cool" "omg me too!" You are the same as every other guys she's talked to and there were 5 others that came up to her today and asked for HER phone number.
A phone number is not a "win" it is a means to keep in contact with a girl you intend to FUCK. She should know this intention ASAP! If you did not convey this intention then you are just like the hundreds of other chodes that talk to this girl on a daily basis.
Lastly, I get what you tried to do with giving her your phone number, but you said you were getting clues that made you think it went better. Here was your clue, if she didn't remind you to take her number, or you didn't part ways just after getting nobbed off in an alley, then she didn't want to talk to you ever again. Frankly I'm surprised she showed you where she works.
Sorry for the tough love, but maybe it will spark something in you.. Go out and hit on 100 girls, don't stop until you're done, come back here and tell us what you've learned. I guarantee you will impress yourself.
Game is something that when you get it(I don't mean get it as something tangible you can hold or own, I mean really that you understand it and can see it for it's entirety) it will will have the ability to bring you to levels you never thought were possible.
After reading your big paragraph wall of text I saw something I've seen over and over again.. I know you're frustrated that your attempt didn't work, but here's a reframe for you and the way you should look at your interactions with women from now on:
1 What did work?
2 What did you learn?
I'll tell you right now the chances of you ever having sex with this girl is about 99% chance you never will, especially before you're labeled as a stalker, or creep, or psycho, whatever emotional label she decides to peg you as. One thing I noticed is you talked a lot about yourself in the intro part of your text wall, you said you are this you are that bla bla bla, well you know what? I do all those things, not only do I do all those things, but I do them better than you. Not only do I do those things but I also can do even more, not only that but my dick is 10 inches! Not really, but I hope you understand what I mean.. It doesn't really matter what you can do because if you don't have your fundamentals correct or every response out of your mouth is "oh nice!" "wow that's cool" "omg me too!" You are the same as every other guys she's talked to and there were 5 others that came up to her today and asked for HER phone number.
A phone number is not a "win" it is a means to keep in contact with a girl you intend to FUCK. She should know this intention ASAP! If you did not convey this intention then you are just like the hundreds of other chodes that talk to this girl on a daily basis.
Lastly, I get what you tried to do with giving her your phone number, but you said you were getting clues that made you think it went better. Here was your clue, if she didn't remind you to take her number, or you didn't part ways just after getting nobbed off in an alley, then she didn't want to talk to you ever again. Frankly I'm surprised she showed you where she works.
Sorry for the tough love, but maybe it will spark something in you.. Go out and hit on 100 girls, don't stop until you're done, come back here and tell us what you've learned. I guarantee you will impress yourself.
@tyme2k thanks for the reply and i appreciate the tyme it took to write. let's go a little deeper though and find some tangible things from this particular experience to walk away with. in your opinion. what did work? what should i learn? i think the opener was good especially if you had seen the look on her face. and the "maybe" answer to the number early on was similar. where did this shit go off the rails? you say she needs to know i intend to f#ck how do i get this point across?
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Agree with everything Tyme2k writes, obviously.
Whatisup, the good news is that it's easy to find things to fix here. The bad news is you did so many things wrong I hardly know where to start! ;-) just kidding.
I like the playful written note idea. Let's assume you start with that. She perks up, like you say. Now comes your first error.
You should have said something along the following lines: "That's better. You look so beautiful when you smile. Actually, you look pretty even when you sulk, but I like it better when you smile. What's your name?"
We call this going DIRECT.
You need to practice it, because it doesn't come natural for most men. You need to get to the stage where you can say hello to a woman you've never seen before, and in the first minute or two, look her in the eye and hold it, and say something like: "You really have the most fantastic pair of legs", or "I couldn't help noticing the way your ass looks in those jeans", or "Those shoes you're wearing... they just scream sex, but it's okay, I'm used to it"; without any nervousness or self-consciousness. Needless to say, this will take time. Compared with that, the opener above about her looking sweet when she smiles is not that hard to spit out. You don't say these things in a lecherous way, obviously, you say them in a genuine, warm, masculine, sexy way.
Next point. Tyme2k already said about not talking about yourself and asking her questions with genuine interest and follow-up commentary. Once you've got a connection going, you should have proposed a date rather than just asking for her number. And if she says no, persist. That's another thing you have to practice.
Walking away like you did leaving your own details and failing to persist in getting hers is going to leave an impression of weakness and lack of resolve. Not something a girl wants in a man. Relaxed and playful, tell her you think she reconsider, because ... (make up some relevant reason here). Then do it again. The worst that can happen is that she says no each time.
I'd write more, but it's getting late and I have to get ready for work. Aim to learn something from each interaction. That means pushing it as far as it'll go, and when it breaks (as it will the first few times), LEARN from what went wrong.
And by the way. You did good to get started. Most men never even reach that stage. They'd have let the girl go by.
-Marty
Whatisup, the good news is that it's easy to find things to fix here. The bad news is you did so many things wrong I hardly know where to start! ;-) just kidding.
I like the playful written note idea. Let's assume you start with that. She perks up, like you say. Now comes your first error.
You should have said something along the following lines: "That's better. You look so beautiful when you smile. Actually, you look pretty even when you sulk, but I like it better when you smile. What's your name?"
We call this going DIRECT.
You need to practice it, because it doesn't come natural for most men. You need to get to the stage where you can say hello to a woman you've never seen before, and in the first minute or two, look her in the eye and hold it, and say something like: "You really have the most fantastic pair of legs", or "I couldn't help noticing the way your ass looks in those jeans", or "Those shoes you're wearing... they just scream sex, but it's okay, I'm used to it"; without any nervousness or self-consciousness. Needless to say, this will take time. Compared with that, the opener above about her looking sweet when she smiles is not that hard to spit out. You don't say these things in a lecherous way, obviously, you say them in a genuine, warm, masculine, sexy way.
Next point. Tyme2k already said about not talking about yourself and asking her questions with genuine interest and follow-up commentary. Once you've got a connection going, you should have proposed a date rather than just asking for her number. And if she says no, persist. That's another thing you have to practice.
Walking away like you did leaving your own details and failing to persist in getting hers is going to leave an impression of weakness and lack of resolve. Not something a girl wants in a man. Relaxed and playful, tell her you think she reconsider, because ... (make up some relevant reason here). Then do it again. The worst that can happen is that she says no each time.
I'd write more, but it's getting late and I have to get ready for work. Aim to learn something from each interaction. That means pushing it as far as it'll go, and when it breaks (as it will the first few times), LEARN from what went wrong.
And by the way. You did good to get started. Most men never even reach that stage. They'd have let the girl go by.
-Marty
Thanks for the reply @marty. I appreciate that people are responding. As a matter of fact I did tell her immediately after that she had a beautiful smile. After reading some of the stuff on the main website I'm thinking I have targeted some areas to improve. I try to show the value in myself subtly throughout the conversation. Especially talking about my travels as I have lived on 4 different continents. I realize now that this is way wrong and that I need to do some Chase framing. I also fail consistently to deep dive (maybe because I'm not that interested in their personality just their ass haha). You're right though @marty, the persistence is something I lack completely. I feel like such a chum when I have already made the effort and opened and said some nice things and shown interest...why should I have to throw myself completely out there? But I get that it's necessary. Lately I've been doing great at noticing some cute girls looking my way and being the second to make eye contact. Haven't opened one yet but the very next time it happens I'm going to and I'll be back to report. Again, thanks for the answers. I'm on the journey and it's nice to know I am not alone. Another question though. On the website it talks about "investment" and rewarding it. How do you reward investment? Say you move her or her body language is very open to you. How does one reward that\?