- Joined
- Dec 7, 2012
- Messages
- 79
Brothers casanovas,
It's lovely to be back on the forum after a long time <3 Hope you're all improving well
)
I need your wisdom brothers. I need some help.
To give you a better understanding of what's going on in my head, I first want to give you a quick debrief.
SITUATION:
She's 3 years older - 26. We met after we both had a pretty shitty period in our life (a few months). We had sex on the first date, no condom --> became FWB --> boyfriend & gf after a few months (2-3). We've been together for more than a year now. It's been beautiful.. She's moderately anxious and healthily jealous. She's also very empathetic, has a big heart and a is a cuddly little sexy cat.
As it goes, I learned a bit about her past as time passed although she was very anxious and scarce with sharing.
HER HISTORY RECAP:
Partner count: 15 before me (if she didn't lie). Nothing too big in my opinion. (what do you think?)
She was FWB with a black guy when she was 19-20 (there is not many where I'm from..like 5 maybe - very exotic). Not just any guy... but like a big player who has probably fucked more than 100 chicks..
She got impregnated by him. Aborted and continued to have sex with him.
She had a 6years older boyfriend that's a very famous comedian and film director (in our country). (this was the only bf before me) - she was 20 at the time
She had a threesome with him and his friend, twice at separate occasions.
She cheated on him after 3 years and was fucking another guy for a while until he found out. Then they broke-up.
She was then single and Tinder-ing and enjoing singledom- from age 23 to 25,5 when she met me (also matched on Tinder lol)
She was invited to Mexico by a model she knew (one month before we met) and they were having all sorts of threesomes with an 41 years-old rich sugar daddy for a week or so. (bdsm, on drugs, etc... )
She says now that she had never really done full-on anal but I remember her saying on our first date, when she was telling me about the debaucheries from Mexico that the orgasm from anal was like a 4.5 out of 5 lol ... (kudos old guy)
She dated (FWB, I guess) only older guys before me... some of them much older.
She says she's a totally different person now and that has changed drastically since a few years ago. (which is a flag according to the article)
MY THOUGHTs
NOWW... I'm well aware of the maddona/whore complex here and all and I've been though jealousy before but this is something different.The mjority of my mind doesn't judge her and I know I'd probably do the same if I was her... so 95% of the time I'm ok with it. She had her own past and I had mine. Fair enough. (Interestingly, she never ever asked me about my past, partner count or anything)
There is a part of me, that just can't be at peace with it. Something is tearing me apart inside and when I re-read this article about girls and their past it only started to scream louder.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/why-h ... ng-serious
I'm 24 and have had more partners than her but a part of me is dying because she had all this and I had nothing like it. I've never been in a threesome and she's done both. There is a part of me that just hates her for being a just another Tinder girl to a guy. For swallowing two loads of cum at once in a threesome. For being a little slut to a filthy rich sugar daddy. It's killing me. Why??
I understand that no amount of explanation or answers will change what has happened. Only my reaction to it matters. The actions I take or not take. I consciously understand this and practice it but it's still killing me.
Is this just my ego? Do I need more meditation and contemplation? Shall re-scan myself for jealousy and bitterness?
Is this just stupid and immature?
Do I just need more experience, threesomes and crazy adventures to feel adequate?? (don't think so)
Or are this real warnings???... Idk.. after re-reading the article, I started thinking that it's a bit too fucked for her to be that anxious when talking about her past. I'm being aware that's she's probably making things seem nicer and leaving things out but that's just women.
WHAT IS THE QUESTION??
Is it me or her? Or both?
I don't want to narrow it that much but I am.
HELP me... it's hard to control it
Hope you're not having the same challenges guys
Much love,
007
It's lovely to be back on the forum after a long time <3 Hope you're all improving well
)I need your wisdom brothers. I need some help.
To give you a better understanding of what's going on in my head, I first want to give you a quick debrief.
SITUATION:
She's 3 years older - 26. We met after we both had a pretty shitty period in our life (a few months). We had sex on the first date, no condom --> became FWB --> boyfriend & gf after a few months (2-3). We've been together for more than a year now. It's been beautiful.. She's moderately anxious and healthily jealous. She's also very empathetic, has a big heart and a is a cuddly little sexy cat.
As it goes, I learned a bit about her past as time passed although she was very anxious and scarce with sharing.
HER HISTORY RECAP:
Partner count: 15 before me (if she didn't lie). Nothing too big in my opinion. (what do you think?)
She was FWB with a black guy when she was 19-20 (there is not many where I'm from..like 5 maybe - very exotic). Not just any guy... but like a big player who has probably fucked more than 100 chicks..
She got impregnated by him. Aborted and continued to have sex with him.
She had a 6years older boyfriend that's a very famous comedian and film director (in our country). (this was the only bf before me) - she was 20 at the time
She had a threesome with him and his friend, twice at separate occasions.
She cheated on him after 3 years and was fucking another guy for a while until he found out. Then they broke-up.
She was then single and Tinder-ing and enjoing singledom- from age 23 to 25,5 when she met me (also matched on Tinder lol)
She was invited to Mexico by a model she knew (one month before we met) and they were having all sorts of threesomes with an 41 years-old rich sugar daddy for a week or so. (bdsm, on drugs, etc... )
She says now that she had never really done full-on anal but I remember her saying on our first date, when she was telling me about the debaucheries from Mexico that the orgasm from anal was like a 4.5 out of 5 lol ... (kudos old guy)
She dated (FWB, I guess) only older guys before me... some of them much older.
She says she's a totally different person now and that has changed drastically since a few years ago. (which is a flag according to the article)
MY THOUGHTs
NOWW... I'm well aware of the maddona/whore complex here and all and I've been though jealousy before but this is something different.The mjority of my mind doesn't judge her and I know I'd probably do the same if I was her... so 95% of the time I'm ok with it. She had her own past and I had mine. Fair enough. (Interestingly, she never ever asked me about my past, partner count or anything)
There is a part of me, that just can't be at peace with it. Something is tearing me apart inside and when I re-read this article about girls and their past it only started to scream louder.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/why-h ... ng-serious
I'm 24 and have had more partners than her but a part of me is dying because she had all this and I had nothing like it. I've never been in a threesome and she's done both. There is a part of me that just hates her for being a just another Tinder girl to a guy. For swallowing two loads of cum at once in a threesome. For being a little slut to a filthy rich sugar daddy. It's killing me. Why??
I understand that no amount of explanation or answers will change what has happened. Only my reaction to it matters. The actions I take or not take. I consciously understand this and practice it but it's still killing me.
Is this just my ego? Do I need more meditation and contemplation? Shall re-scan myself for jealousy and bitterness?
Is this just stupid and immature?
Do I just need more experience, threesomes and crazy adventures to feel adequate?? (don't think so)
Or are this real warnings???... Idk.. after re-reading the article, I started thinking that it's a bit too fucked for her to be that anxious when talking about her past. I'm being aware that's she's probably making things seem nicer and leaving things out but that's just women.
WHAT IS THE QUESTION??
Is it me or her? Or both?
I don't want to narrow it that much but I am.
HELP me... it's hard to control it
Hope you're not having the same challenges guys
Much love,
007
