Help with 2nd date please!

[Dylweed]

Short summary of first date: Got drinks with her at a bar near my place and she agreed to come back with me to watch netflix. We got back and started watching a movie and i was going to make a move but then i really fucked up and kept waiting and never even did it. I know she would have wanted me too but we never got physical on the date besides a hug at the beginning.

I'm surprised she agreed to a 2nd one. I asked her to come over tomorrow and she agreed. She asked what we were going to do and i said "chill for a little bit and maybe go get some food." She agreed and said it sounds fun.

My question is, would it be weird for me to invite her over and try to escalate right away? I'm not very great at this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Only other thing i can think of would be to go get food with her right away and then after invite her back to my place watch netflix again. I'm just afraid that might sound boring since thats what i did last time. And if food wasn't needed it'd be cool to skip that.

Thanks again

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hey Dylweed!

She likes you man, so much that she's willing to give you another shot. However, don't escalate right away. She's expecting you to be the nice guy that takes his time like the first time, not to get ravaged as soon as she gets through the door. You are going to have to build some sexual tension first.

Get her to help you make lunch. Find excuses to touch her often while you work together. See how she reacts to your touch. Get her to do most of the work while you stand close behind her and give instructions and encouragement. When you get the sense that she's clearly enjoying your touch and you get the feeling that you should be doing something - escalate passionately!

 

[-B-]

Yes you are doing great right now. Girls don't just give up their time up like this unless they want to get something out of it. That fact that she was totally down to hang again and do whatever with you (even though nothing really happened last time) with no hesitation and flakiness at all means shes totally down. Yes, you should start with a hug again and start escalating immediately. Make sure you read chase's article on how to create sexual tension as soon as possible. Then create as much sexual tension with this girl as you can from the get go. When in doubt use the hot tub theory. Stick your toe in, then go deeper and deeper taking baby step after baby step and you wont have to fear any major rejection. Once you are on the couch together listening to some music or watching the news, you have intense sexual eye contact, you got your sexy voice on, you're legs are touching, you are very close to her, Just nut up, pull her in, and kiss her at any time really. I can tell from what you wrote that the girl will kiss back for sure. If by some odd fucking chance she turns away and says something, turn her head back towards you and kiss her anyway. Let her feel you passion and your desire, and DOMINATE her. Watch how horny she gets.

I don't even need to wish you good luck on this one,

-B

 

[Dylweed]

She came over and we sat on the couch together, arms touching, while watching the weather. I tried to talk with a sexy voice but i was pretty nervous. After about five minutes i grabbed her face with my hand and pulled her into me and we started kissing. After about 30 seconds i decided to pull away and when i did that she did too, and then she didn't seem like she wanted to keep kissing. So we sat for a while and kept talking while she flipped the channels. I felt way less nervous after that happened though.

Then she mentioned that she was hungry and wanted to go eat. I said we could make some sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly, but she would have been very disappointed to do that. So i agreed we would go eat somewhere and we did. After we got back from the restaurant we ended up in my room and she sat on my bed. So i sat next to her and we were talking about my hand drawn pictures hanging on the wall. This is when i kissed her again. Then we were laying on my bed making out. I was running my hands up and down her body. With her on her back i started moving down to her stomach to lift up her shirt and start kissing her stomach but she stopped me by asking me what i was doing. I went back to kissing her and rubbing my hands over her body but when i would slide my hand up under her shirt and feel her titties she would again ask, what are you doing? I tried that a couple more times and eventually she suggested we go back in the living room and watch tv. I said, yeah we can watch the weather. She said yeah, i said, yeah that sounds like much more fun than what we're doing. She sarcastically agreed. After this we watched an episode on netflix. Then we sat around in my room again talking for like an hour till i eventually told her she had to leave so i could go workout.

I'm still a virgin and it's hard getting past resistance for me. This obviously would have went different had i been more physical on the first date and tried escalating then. This girl isn't super physically attractive but she's definitely a very outgoing girl. Any advice though guys? Thanks

 

[-B-]

First off I want to say great job, you had some balls and you escalated like a champ. You kept persisting a couple times when she gave you some resistance which was awesome.

Here is the thing, I think she likes you and is okay with you doing this because. First off she didn't give any resistance making out and was letting you run your hands all over her body then and there. If she was not wanting you at all she would have been giving you non offensive excuses to try and get out of it right then and there. She probably suggested to get something to eat to bring it back to a situation where it was more comfortable for her. But THEN after you ate she was totally cool coming back to your place and made no bullshit excuses or tried to get out of it (saying she was tired, had class the next morning). She then came back to your place and sat right on your fucking bed. Girls who are really creeped out and don't want guys coming on to them.... do not go and sit on their bed. She stopped you only when you tried to transition to sex which pinpoints to me that THAT is what she is uncomfortable right now. I think that these are the things that could be standing in the way here.

YOU HAVE TO REMOVE ANY HANGUPS SHE HAS

-make sure that you deep dived well. She should feel that you find her sexy and would love to pin her down and fuck her... but you just as strongly value her for the intriguing and unique individual that she its. Make her feel sexy, and unique and special.

-Make sure you communicated with her that you respect sexually liberated women. Where society views a “slut” you see a confident girl who is aware of the fact that we are only sexy and young for so long. This way she wont be afraid of looking like a slut in her eyes if she gives it up soon.

This is what I think the big one is tho...

YOU HAVE TO GET HER TURNED ON AND MORE EXCITED

I think that the way you probably went about this was very mechanical like a process “okay... now here I gotta start touching her here” and you were so focused about just getting any girl in bed and getting a lay that you were not focused on giving her the emotional display that she needed to get horny. In fact I know this is the case because you said that you think she isn't that attractive. What makes women horny is when a guy (a guy that they like) is so fucking turned on by their sexy body that he is literally loosing control of himself and cant stop himself from pinning her down and ravaging her with all his primal desire.

Go on the internet and find a video of just the audio of girls who are having sex moaning, you will literally be able to feel your body react to it. Now imagine girls just saying “oh, oh, ughhh, oh” in complete bored, monotone voice. Wouldn't have the same effects now would it. This is our limbic system reacting to others emotions. It has little to do with what you are doing and everything to do with HOW you are doing it. Its all about proximity, facial expression, breathing, tone of voice.

I want you to imagine that you have the absolute sexiest girl that you've ever seen in porn and shes sprawled out on YOUR bed naked, hornier then she has ever been in her life, and she gives you the amazing opportunity to do whatever you want to her incredible body... You are holding her by the hips, fucking her sweaty, perfect body as hard as you possibly can, loosing control of yourself, its the most amazing thing you have ever felt and experienced, you are just about to cum. How would you be breathing? How would you be moving and touching her? What tone of voice would you be using with her (if you could even form a sentence)?

THIS is how I want you to treat every girl that you get home alone with you after you start to heavily make out... regardless of how she looks or how attractive you find her. The mind is the most powerful sexual organ. I can tell you that THIS will get a girl more wet and more horny then any technique or type of stimulation or anything else EVER WILL.

-People are a lot more socially sensitive and intuitive then most people think they are. I think that this girl can pick up on the fact that you are just trying to get an easy lay with her because she is below your standards and its easier on you. She enjoys having a guy touch her... but she doesn't want to give in in a situation like this as it would hurt her self confidence and feelings.

lastly when she asks you “what are you doing” just be completely unashamed of your raw sexual desire and do something like this

Her: “What are you doing?”

(you are EXTREMELY horny and breathing heavy with everything you say)

You: “You tell me.... what am I doing to you too you right now sweetie”

Her: “You're reaching up my shirt... grabbing my boobs”

You: (super horny whisper) “Ohhhh..... thats right baby”

You: “I bet that feels so fucking fucking good for you right now sweetie, doesn't it?”

Her: (some shit about how shes not comfortable with this, even if she is horny)

You: (hornier and breathing harder then ever now) “Katie.. you're so fucking sexy!.... I can't control myself around you.”

Then you attack her like the horny savage you are and dominate her, giving her the most emotionally intense sex of her life.

 

[Dylweed]

Thanks a lot man for the great feedback and advice. I never did talk about my views on sexually liberated women. I will definitely work on that with future girls, along with trying to get them more turned on.

Any suggestions on how i should go about hanging out with this girl again? We already agreed to hanging out again. She told me to remind her to show me a dj the next time we hang out.

 

[-B-]

Yea when you talk about your view on sexually liberated girls, don't just bring it up out of nowhere as it will be obvious to her what you are doing. If the conversations turns sexual (which you can direct it that way) then you can bring it up a bit more naturally.

Ok so im pretty sure she is not talking about introducing you to a DJ in person. More like showing you on youtube or chilling and listening to some music together, so it seems she is already anticipating being back with you at one of your places. Ask her out for some food or a drink at a place really close to where you live (or where you can escalate alone). When you are there just play it chill for the most part, but be a little bit flirty and fun every now and then too keep things fresh. Let her prattle on about herself and things shes passionate about as much as possible while you just sit back and listen and connect to her every now and then. Once you've been there for a bit (and finished your food drink or whatever) invite her back to your place to (chill, watch netflix, have her show you that DJ she was talking about). BUT, this girl was also very submissive to everything you tried to do up until intercourse. If you think you can invite her over to your place from the get go to “watch some show on netflix, or cook some dinner and chill together” that would be way more efficient and leave less room for fuck ups.

Once you get her back up there I trust you are going to escalate like you did before. This time really get into it and let her feel and experience how much SHE (HER, and HER body especially) just turns you on so fucking much that you can't control your self. Really use your imagination to turn yourself on here then direct it on her. Hit her with a good dose of primal sexual desire. This will hopefully get her a lot hornier and excited then she was before and will push her over the edge. If she tries to resist... don't get in a logical debate with her or ask her whats wrong and how you can fix it. Try to just persist and chip away at her with your raw desire and touch that is barely on the line of what she will reject until she gets too horny. If she rejects very hard, back down and cool it a bit but remain any physical contact she will accept. Talk about anything but “why are you turning down this sex?” in order to distract her logical mind. You want to avoid her getting logical about this situation as much as possible. Instead, be a bit fun and playful in the moment, you can talk about what you find so fucking sexy about her and her body, or what you find kind of cute about her personality. After letting it cool for a bit like this, go right back into applying pressure again. Rinse and repeat until either she gives in, or walks out. Keep going like this all night if you have to.

One more thing, from they way you describe this girl, she is probably going to be really happy getting this kind of attention if she thinks you care about her, maybe she will be the happiest she has been in a long time. But all that happiness is going to flip into depression if she feels like you didn't care about her or just used her to get a lay. I know a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do. But in the future if you are not all that attracted to a girl let her know (in a subtle read between the lines type way) that you aren't looking for anything serious right now. If you fuck a girl who is lower value than you and who is unexperienced with guys... and she expected it to turn into something serious, you are going to absolutely steam roll her emotionally. Do you have to be exclusive with her? Absolutely not. Just make sure she isn't expecting something very different than you are going to offer.

Hope this helped and gave you some direction man

 

[Dylweed]

-B-, thank you so much for all your advice and feedback. It was very helpful and much appreciated. The last thing you wrote almost scares me. Because i'm very bad at saying in a subtle way that i don't want a serious relationship. First night i met this girl was at a bar and she was hammered. We agreed to hanging out and she was so into me because how wasted she was. I told her in a very not so subtle way that i'm not looking for a serious relationship right now and that i enjoy being single. She totally agreed though and said that she's just looking for someone to hang out with. She even went as far as to say that she's just looking for someone to hang out and have sex with. Thing is, she was so wasted and i don't think she remembers anything from that night.

Anyways i feel i should update this with how it turned out. I got her to come straight over to my place to chill. Put the tv on right away, we kept talking and eventually we put netflix on and picked a movie. Once it started i kissed her. We started making out and she said something like, we got to see how the movie starts. So i stopped escalating and started watching the movie while all resting almost my whole body against her. Was very horny. I did what -B- said and tried turning myself on as much as possible. After a few minutes i started heavily making out again and feeling her body. It was getting intense and I was so turned on i embarrassingly came in my pants haha. Kept trying to escalate though and after a while she brought our attention back to the movie. I stopped escalating and just sat back and chilled with her legs on top of mine. Actually ended up getting really into the movie and wanted to see how it ended so i decided to wait for the movie to end to try again. After it ended she put a new movie on right away and this time when i started escalating she was all for it. Eventually she was like "are we going to go to your room?" and thats when it happened. Went 2 quick rounds because the first round i didn't last very long. I think she really enjoyed it though. Was trying the adapted missionary position that chase recommended. Her body was getting so tensed up and she was getting loud, I don't think she was faking it. Anyways it went good for my first time. Her brother told her the roads were bad(snowy) and to not drive home that night so i let her stay overnight and she agreed. I still never let her know that this was my first time.

 

[-B-]

FUCK YEA!!! THATS HOW ITS DONE... excuse me while a go do a victory dance in your honor

 

[-B-]

Alright im back now...just one more thing that took me a while to learn. After sex don't get softer and more emotional towards the girl even if you think thats what the girl wants and its the only reason you are doing it (you'd be surprised how often this completely turns the girl off and drives them away), but at the same time do not make her feel neglected and don't give her any reason to be mad. Just be the exact same dude and have the same behavior towards her before you had sex. If not just be A LITTLE bit warmer towards her. when in doubt... always play the middle between the two and "play it chill"