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Help with very warm to very cold response

Prime

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 16, 2025
Messages
12
matched with a girl several months ago, got phone number, sent first text but she didn't respond. sent her a text months later on sunday

Me: ping text telling her something reminded me of her

Her 36h later: incredibly warm 40+ word response with exclamations, a smiley emoticon, double question marks

Me 18h later: enthusiastic response matching her energy, length. matching her instead of giving 80% was a bad move. it was too long, too supplicating, too boring, and my bait was awful "you know what's interesting to me about [her activity]?

Her 30h later: Tell me
note: cold, demanding response. I can’t reward this, certainly can't comply

Options for next text:
I liked warm bubbly [her name]. More of that pls
(pro: explicitly calling out her cold response; con: “tell me” is pretty much all I could’ve expected her to respond with)
(pro: gets her invested; con: my bait was not that interesting so might not respond)
[her name]…
(pro: mimics her terse response; con: not much reason for her to engage)
Hold that thought
Just realized something about you
(pro: I’m telling her what to do, more intriguing bait; con: maybe jarring subject change, smells like bait)

I’d rather cut the thread with my original bait and pivot to about her. Will tease her about revealing what I realized over several messages for investment.

Thoughts?
 
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Prime

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 16, 2025
Messages
12
I could also keep to the subject and respond with
Actually I probably shouldn't tell you
I have a progression of texts to get her invested before revealing but again I don't think the bait thread is that interesting so in any case I'm planning on cutting that and telling her "hold that thought" and "I just looked at your profile again and realized something about you" or simply "Just realized something about you"
 
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Prime

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 16, 2025
Messages
12
The final answer was
Me:
I probably shouldn't...
You're open minded right?
INSTANTANEOUS response
Her:
Go for it
Me:
I just realized something about you
Her:
I'll let her stew on that for a bit, maybe she'll chase with a double text


Shit. Just realized I should've called her when she was responding instantly
 
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empath

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
685
Yeah same realisation. If she is sending quick texts or warm text.

Just chk if she wanna talk on call
 

Prime

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 16, 2025
Messages
12
If I texted asking for a call after the question mark at this point I bet she'd just ghost. Too low compliance/effort/interest from her since my disastrous response the other day (she has used 5 words total and a question mark). The move was to call when she was texting at that moment.

I'm tempted to wait at least 24h to see if she double texts something with higher effort than a damn question mark. Really need to get her chasing, I get the sense that she'll be super flighty/flaky unless I get her chasing.

Next text will be either
  • that she's not allowed to get a big head when I tell her what I realized.
  • some way to call out her low effort in a non-butthurt way (maybe react to her question mark with a question mark reaction?)
I'll give her a genuine insightful compliment then accuse her of getting a big head.

I've never tried this before but I might ask her to qualify me before going for the meet like "we need to get even" and as her what she finds interesting about me. Bc again, I need her investing.

Maybe I should just try calling her out of the blue instead of responding to her question mark. It's summer, she's on break from school, should be free to pick up a random call in the afternoon. But almost seems incongruous to switch to call in the middle of a convo
 

empath

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
685
If I texted asking for a call after the question mark at this point I bet she'd just ghost. Too low compliance/effort/interest from her since my disastrous response the other day (she has used 5 words total and a question mark). The move was to call when she was texting at that moment.

I'm tempted to wait at least 24h to see if she double texts something with higher effort than a damn question mark. Really need to get her chasing, I get the sense that she'll be super flighty/flaky unless I get her chasing.

Next text will be either
  • that she's not allowed to get a big head when I tell her what I realized.
  • some way to call out her low effort in a non-butthurt way (maybe react to her question mark with a question mark reaction?)
I'll give her a genuine insightful compliment then accuse her of getting a big head.

I've never tried this before but I might ask her to qualify me before going for the meet like "we need to get even" and as her what she finds interesting about me. Bc again, I need her investing.

Maybe I should just try calling her out of the blue instead of responding to her question mark. It's summer, she's on break from school, should be free to pick up a random call in the afternoon. But almost seems incongruous to switch to call in the middle of a convo
Maybe leave it as it is for few days and send her a ping like

Missing me 😉

Or

Hey stop distracting me like this 😩


Or a variation

On a sunday, wednesday or thrusday at 11:00 p.m. ish

Then depending on her response send a text spiking her curiosity

Then send a text lemme explain on call.

And call right away
 

Prime

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 16, 2025
Messages
12
Didn't think "Missing me" would work since she's not invested. "Stop distracting me" might've been good. I've never tried "Good morning 🌞" so I threw that one out 1.5 days later hoping it'd prompt her to ask again about my bait. No response after 24h. I think keeping momentum when she was responding or at least continuing the thread with my slow follow-up would've been the move. The best thing would've been to call on high momentum.

Plenty of mistakes here. I've been making the mistake of being too needy + invested over text so I wanted to try overcorrecting in the opposite direction and I at least accomplished that :p
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

empath

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
685
Didn't think "Missing me" would work since she's not invested. "Stop distracting me" might've been good. I've never tried "Good morning 🌞" so I threw that one out 1.5 days later hoping it'd prompt her to ask again about my bait. No response after 24h. I think keeping momentum when she was responding or at least continuing the thread with my slow follow-up would've been the move. The best thing would've been to call on high momentum.

Plenty of mistakes here. I've been making the mistake of being too needy + invested over text so I wanted to try overcorrecting in the opposite direction and I at least accomplished that :p
Yeah missing me works on attracted girls well.

You can try ... Hey just came back in town... you won't belive what crazy shit happened with me over the weekend ...

Or

You look like someone my mother would like ...
 
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