- Joined
- Oct 23, 2013
- Messages
- 473
Hey what's up guys,
I wanted to ask with help about something; my sister came to me about advice on what to do about this guy, that is obsessed with her.
She's asked me about him like before and shit, and in the past I’ve told her “don’t worry its probably harmless, just keep going about what you’d be doing otherwise” and for the most part in the past that did ok for her it seems. But things have gotten a bit worse for her lately.
A little background; I’m the oldest child in my family and am 21.
My sister is my only sister and she is 2 years younger than me; we grew up together and have been fairly close since we’ve been young. Not super close, but we have a healthy relationship probably more than the average brother and sister do. I talk to her and or see her like once or twice a week or so.
My sister, oddly enough has a lot of the qualities that I find myself looking for in relationship quality girls.
I think there’s a bit of psychology that Chase mentioned somewhere that says that you tend to mirror or model either your mother or your sister for a relationship to some degree in your life, and that ends up happening in the relationships you get.
For me it is kind of the case for my sister I think; definitely not my mom cause she’s more masculine, and aggressive, and an asshole/more in common with me. My dad and sister are the softer ones in the family and the ones who I try to learn empathy and kindness and feminine qualities from.
My sister is 19, gonna turn 20 soon; she is inexperienced has never had a boyfriend, is an engineering student and gets really good grades.
She is shy excited inexperienced, conservative girl https://www.girlschase.com/content/girl- ... ited-girls and yeah honestly its kind of weird as fuck but a lot of the qualities she has are what I find similar to some degree that I like for in a girlfriend (just stripped of some of the bad, like sibling disagreements and bullshit and stuff perhaps).
She is feminine and soft by nature and ambitious, hardworking, but also likes to socialize having movie nights and other bullshit with social circles besides spending time with her close friends.
…
My sister’s been having trouble with this orbiter guy. Who is an indian guy and really socially awkward and clueless coincidentally.
The guy is obsessed with her she says, knows everything about her, knows where she went to school and who all her friends are and what all her classes are without her telling him.
What’s he like I asked her; and my sister’s like he’s a loser, and told me how her and a few friends watched a Bollywood film together two days ago and one of the friends brought along a few other girls and this guy decided to tag along. And it was like 8 or 9 of them and this guy, and he is weird as fuck and socially awkward, and how he sang along, by himself, to all the Bollywood songs in the movie. Lol
I didn’t really know what advice to give my sister or how to help her out.
She is afraid of him and creeped out, because he knows where she lives now after her fuckign friend brought him over for that movie night. There is shit I'm forgetting to say here but everything she's told me seems to proves that he is creepy is obsessed with her and is fantasizing about them being together or whatever.
She is afraid and worried he will get violent or try to push things too much with her or what will happen.
My sisters very sweet and feminine by nature; and had trouble telling him off. She did once or twice and he was sad and mad at her then as a loser guy would be, and then she felt horrible and apologized right away. She said then he chilled for a few weeks or so and she thought it was over but then it transpired again.
Whatever events she goes to or club meetings or whtever she goes to he sees on facebook and then goes just to be there too and to try and stalk her kind of. She’s said that they are always in groups with other acquaintances and never her and him together alone; she has told her close friends but the people she is in these groups with are more acquaintances , who if they got involved it would be weird or not help or something.
Honestly, I don’t know a ton about this, and just know what my sister has told me.
I met the guy and didn’t know it was him actually, at a restaurant event I dropped my sister off at.
Apparently I honked my horn at him because he wouldn’t turn left when the signal went green (I’ve been working on chilling with that a little lol), and I apologized to him and smiled and was nice and got his name.
She later told me that;s the guy whos been stalking me and who I’m scared of and shit; she said I wish youd been more threatening or scarier with him and you were like really nice instead.
…
I don’t know what advice I could give my sister or how I could help her out.
I also don’t know how much of a serious problem or not this is, cause the guy is creepy and weird and inexperienced and could act up or do something, and my 90 lb sister would have no hope of fighting him off.
WIth girlfriends and orbiters I think the advice to give girlfriends was to just you as the guy not take their orbiters too seriously, and for them to be clear they have a boyfriend, but other than that just go about their day to day? And the orbiters can keep their hope and keep talking to them or whatever but your girlfriend will be fine and have you still at the end of the day.
So yeah; I’m not really sure what my sister could do or should do?
If you guys have any thoughts; I’m not sure if this is anything really serious or not either, and how bad it is vs. if my sister is just really worried but its more because she’s inexperienced and hasn’t had an orbiter like this before ever.
He may seem more threatening because he just has no social competenece at all maybe. Idk.
…
I was fucking stumped and just trying not to laugh as my sister told me all this (for like the 4th or t54th time) and show her that I take it seriously and try to think of things.
Only things I could think of but neither of them are practical were if my sister got a boyfriend right away who could then protect her and then show the guy that she;s taken and he should fuck off or not be around her as much anymore.
Or I could drive the 30 miles to his school and kick his ass and tell him to be sure he stays away from her (this one doesn’t work anymore now that I’m 21 probably lol).
But my sisters been going out less and afraid to go to any events or socialize anymore because this guy shows up to everything stares at her tries to talk to her more spend more time with her ask her all these questions etc.
He hasn’t ever even told her how he feels so that she could then go and tell him no I don’t feel the same way.
That’s what bugs her most about this and is especially why she is worried that this might end up something scary or violent or really bad or dangerous for her down the line. I don’t know how likely her concerns are but I don’t want to risk shit.
I want the best for her, and to give her advice that helps her out with this guy and any other idiots in the future. Something she’ll have to learn here likely.
Any practical help, helps thanks a lot guys!
Rage
I wanted to ask with help about something; my sister came to me about advice on what to do about this guy, that is obsessed with her.
She's asked me about him like before and shit, and in the past I’ve told her “don’t worry its probably harmless, just keep going about what you’d be doing otherwise” and for the most part in the past that did ok for her it seems. But things have gotten a bit worse for her lately.
A little background; I’m the oldest child in my family and am 21.
My sister is my only sister and she is 2 years younger than me; we grew up together and have been fairly close since we’ve been young. Not super close, but we have a healthy relationship probably more than the average brother and sister do. I talk to her and or see her like once or twice a week or so.
My sister, oddly enough has a lot of the qualities that I find myself looking for in relationship quality girls.
I think there’s a bit of psychology that Chase mentioned somewhere that says that you tend to mirror or model either your mother or your sister for a relationship to some degree in your life, and that ends up happening in the relationships you get.
For me it is kind of the case for my sister I think; definitely not my mom cause she’s more masculine, and aggressive, and an asshole/more in common with me. My dad and sister are the softer ones in the family and the ones who I try to learn empathy and kindness and feminine qualities from.
My sister is 19, gonna turn 20 soon; she is inexperienced has never had a boyfriend, is an engineering student and gets really good grades.
She is shy excited inexperienced, conservative girl https://www.girlschase.com/content/girl- ... ited-girls and yeah honestly its kind of weird as fuck but a lot of the qualities she has are what I find similar to some degree that I like for in a girlfriend (just stripped of some of the bad, like sibling disagreements and bullshit and stuff perhaps).
She is feminine and soft by nature and ambitious, hardworking, but also likes to socialize having movie nights and other bullshit with social circles besides spending time with her close friends.
…
My sister’s been having trouble with this orbiter guy. Who is an indian guy and really socially awkward and clueless coincidentally.
The guy is obsessed with her she says, knows everything about her, knows where she went to school and who all her friends are and what all her classes are without her telling him.
What’s he like I asked her; and my sister’s like he’s a loser, and told me how her and a few friends watched a Bollywood film together two days ago and one of the friends brought along a few other girls and this guy decided to tag along. And it was like 8 or 9 of them and this guy, and he is weird as fuck and socially awkward, and how he sang along, by himself, to all the Bollywood songs in the movie. Lol
I didn’t really know what advice to give my sister or how to help her out.
She is afraid of him and creeped out, because he knows where she lives now after her fuckign friend brought him over for that movie night. There is shit I'm forgetting to say here but everything she's told me seems to proves that he is creepy is obsessed with her and is fantasizing about them being together or whatever.
She is afraid and worried he will get violent or try to push things too much with her or what will happen.
My sisters very sweet and feminine by nature; and had trouble telling him off. She did once or twice and he was sad and mad at her then as a loser guy would be, and then she felt horrible and apologized right away. She said then he chilled for a few weeks or so and she thought it was over but then it transpired again.
Whatever events she goes to or club meetings or whtever she goes to he sees on facebook and then goes just to be there too and to try and stalk her kind of. She’s said that they are always in groups with other acquaintances and never her and him together alone; she has told her close friends but the people she is in these groups with are more acquaintances , who if they got involved it would be weird or not help or something.
Honestly, I don’t know a ton about this, and just know what my sister has told me.
I met the guy and didn’t know it was him actually, at a restaurant event I dropped my sister off at.
Apparently I honked my horn at him because he wouldn’t turn left when the signal went green (I’ve been working on chilling with that a little lol), and I apologized to him and smiled and was nice and got his name.
She later told me that;s the guy whos been stalking me and who I’m scared of and shit; she said I wish youd been more threatening or scarier with him and you were like really nice instead.
…
I don’t know what advice I could give my sister or how I could help her out.
I also don’t know how much of a serious problem or not this is, cause the guy is creepy and weird and inexperienced and could act up or do something, and my 90 lb sister would have no hope of fighting him off.
WIth girlfriends and orbiters I think the advice to give girlfriends was to just you as the guy not take their orbiters too seriously, and for them to be clear they have a boyfriend, but other than that just go about their day to day? And the orbiters can keep their hope and keep talking to them or whatever but your girlfriend will be fine and have you still at the end of the day.
So yeah; I’m not really sure what my sister could do or should do?
If you guys have any thoughts; I’m not sure if this is anything really serious or not either, and how bad it is vs. if my sister is just really worried but its more because she’s inexperienced and hasn’t had an orbiter like this before ever.
He may seem more threatening because he just has no social competenece at all maybe. Idk.
…
I was fucking stumped and just trying not to laugh as my sister told me all this (for like the 4th or t54th time) and show her that I take it seriously and try to think of things.
Only things I could think of but neither of them are practical were if my sister got a boyfriend right away who could then protect her and then show the guy that she;s taken and he should fuck off or not be around her as much anymore.
Or I could drive the 30 miles to his school and kick his ass and tell him to be sure he stays away from her (this one doesn’t work anymore now that I’m 21 probably lol).
But my sisters been going out less and afraid to go to any events or socialize anymore because this guy shows up to everything stares at her tries to talk to her more spend more time with her ask her all these questions etc.
He hasn’t ever even told her how he feels so that she could then go and tell him no I don’t feel the same way.
That’s what bugs her most about this and is especially why she is worried that this might end up something scary or violent or really bad or dangerous for her down the line. I don’t know how likely her concerns are but I don’t want to risk shit.
I want the best for her, and to give her advice that helps her out with this guy and any other idiots in the future. Something she’ll have to learn here likely.
Any practical help, helps thanks a lot guys!
Rage
