Hidden Afflictions of Being a Sex God

[Ambiance]

So I was thinking about cool names that I might name any kids I might have someday. I was in the middle of going through girl names I like. And then I realized a terrible truth...

This is going to be the conversation between whoever I marry and myself:

Wife: I really like the name Katherine
Ambiance: You know I do t- WAIT NOPE WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR DAUGHTER KATHERINE
Wife: Ok... haha that was a little over the top
Ambiance: Lol yep ANYWAY...
Wife: What about Leah? She'd have your initals...
Ambiance: Uh, no. Veto
Wife: What's wrong with Leah?
Ambiance: I just hate that name. For reasons.
Wife: Alright... uh what about Megan?
Ambiance: NO WAY IN HOLY HELL is that going to happen
Wife: Why not? Megan is a great name!
Ambiance: Yes it is, but I just couldn't name my daughter that
Wife: Why not?
Ambiance: Oh you know... girl from the past and whatnot
Wife: Oh that makes sense. Ok well do you have any names in mind?
Ambiance: Well I kinda like Theresa
Wife: That could work. Theresa...
Ambiance: Yeah. Resa for short. You know what, I love it
Wife: I think I do too
Ambiance: Awesome, it's settled... Wait
Wife: What?
Ambiance: Not Theresa
Wife: C'mon you just said you love it!
Ambiance: Yeah I lied. Not Theresa
Wife: Jesus you are making this so difficult
Ambiance: Don't get mad at me, this is a serious matter, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about some old conquest when I see my daughter!
Wife: Wait hold on, so how many of these names have been girls you slept with before you met me?
Ambiance:...All of them.
Wife:...
Ambiance:...
Wife: ALL of them?
Ambiance: We've only mentioned like 5 names. It's just a coincidence
Wife: haha ok
Ambiance: Just keep suggesting names, we'll get it right
Wife: Lol, ok what about Hailey?
Ambiance:...
Wife: Right. What about Colleen? It's so elega-
Ambiance: No.
Wife: Ok... Sarah?
Ambiance: Heh, not Sarah. Definitely not Sarah!
Wife: Ok, now you're just being funny
Ambiance: Nooo. No, c'mon keep listing names
Wife: Talia?
Ambiance: No
Wife: Emma?
Ambiance: No
Wife: Ok how many of these are just because you don't like the name?
Ambiance: I'll tell you when it's just because of that
Wife: ok, but how many?
Ambiance: None yet.
Wife: Are you kidding me? Look Ambiance, if its some girl you slept with that's one thing, but if it's just some girl you used to know and never did anyting with...
Ambiance: I know. I won't veto a name if it was just some girl I never slept with.
Wife: So none of the names so far were just some girl you only knew
Ambiance:...Yeah
Wife: Wow. You sure you haven't done this whole naming process before? I mean, you did wear condoms right? Haha...
Ambiance: Look don't worry about it, I wouldn't have married you if I wasn't willing to give up some of my freedom
Wife: I won't
Ambiance: Ok good. Keep trying
Wife: Ok. Taylor?
Ambiance:... No
Wife: Katie?
Ambiance: Haha, no
Wife: Shenequa?
Ambiance: Lol I'm not naming my daughter Shenequa
Wife: Because you slept with her
Ambiance: No. No I have never been with a Shenequa.
Wife: HA! Ok, how about Tanisha?
Ambiance: Haven't been with a Tanisha
Wife: Yes! Ok, uh... how about... uh, Gianna?
Ambiance: Haven't been with a Gianna. But it's an ugly name
Wife: Lol i know but so far its between Gianna and Tanisha. And whatever I said before that.
Ambiance: Ugggghhhhh...
Wife: Um, what about Chanel?
Ambiance: Shanelle? How do you know about her?
Wife:...
Ambiance: Shit
Wife: Who is Shanelle?
Ambiance: Nobody... I mean, she was some girl I knew way back when. Haven't seen her since high school
Wife: Why did her name evoke such a response?
Ambiance: Oh, well I lost my virginity to her
Wife: We are not naming our daughter Shanelle.
Ambiance: Couldn't agree more. Speaking of Shanelle, I should see how she's doing, maybe grab a coffee...
Wife: NO WAY. I know what you do on coffee dates.
Ambiance: C'mon, you could tag along with me! Be my wing woman! Shanelle is pretty freaky...
Wife: No way Hosea
Ambiance: Teasing... ok what else you got
Wife: Anna
Ambiance: No
Wife: Brooke
Ambiance: No
Wife: Callie
Ambiance: Hah! No
Wife: Diane
Ambiance: You're doing the ABCs huh. And no
Wife: Emerson
Ambiance: Actually never slept with her... did get a bunch of blowjobs though...
Wife: Emerson is out. Fiona
Ambiance: Nope
Wife: Uh, Gianna. No wait, uh, Gabby
Ambiance: Gabby! Oh man...
Wife: Omg you are intolerable. Hannah
Ambiance: LOL! No
Wife: Isabella
Ambiance: Nope
Wife: Jessica
Ambiance: Veto
Wife: Kaylie
Ambiance: Veto
Wife: Lucy
Ambiance: Never slept with a Lucy.
Wife: Ok Lucy it is
Ambiance: No wait, c'mon, LUCY? We can do better than that!
Wife: You know, I don't think we can!
Ambiance: It's ok sweetheart... we're so close. I can feel it. What letter were we on?
Wife: I forget
Ambiance: We were on L
Wife: Ok. Mary
Ambiance: No
Wife: Nelly
Ambiance: No
Wife: Ophelia
Ambiance: Somebody's a Lit major
Wife: Ok we'll come back to it. Penelope
Ambiance: no
Wife: OMG are you kidding me? You're totally pulling my leg aren't you? About all of this?
Ambiance: Lol. We're talking about ME HERE...
Wife: Sigh... yeah.
Ambiance: K look, why don't I just choose the name.
Wife: Ok. I don't know why we hadn't thought of this earlier.
Ambiance: Alright, let's do Leia
Wife: No! No we are not naming our daughter after some Star Trek character!
Ambiance: Star Trek? I'm forgetting why I ever decided to marry you
Wife: Shut up
Ambiance: ok... uh... jeez this is pretty hard
Wife: Yeah it is... *stares at crotch*
Ambiance: ...
Wife: This is taking too LONG. Especially since it's so HARD
Ambiance: Come here... we'll finish this later

...And you guys get the drift. I mean, as evidenced above, why even go to the trouble of learning game and improving yourself and bedding quality women when you're just sabatoging yourself for when you are trying to name your future kids? Better pray you only have boys! At this point, might as well quit game and go back to only talking to girls in social circle, and buying them stuff and moving slow and and supplicating to their every whim.

Finally I have come full circle.

 

[Ree]

hehehehehehhe

 

[Ambiance]

Just dug up this gem... thought I'd bump it