A
Anonymous
Guest
I don't really write reports, but I thought I'd write one to go over what happened the other night and sort my thoughts.
Saturday night:
I roll up to the bar with my friend, it's a real low key place, kinda small, like a hole-in-the-wall, but the vibe is really good and they were playing a good mix of music.
It's still early, around 10:30, and my friend and I wait at the bar and order some drinks. As my friend peruses the menu, I lean against the bar and I can see from the corner of my eye two girls across the bar. One of them is stealing glances at me. I hold eye contact for a second, but I intentionally break first and continue talking to my friend.
We grab our drinks and we start walking towards the outer patio area, where there's a mini-dance floor flanked by several tables with stools and a smaller bar area to the side, where the DJ was playing tracks off his MacBook. My friend is a voracious consumer of pickup material and philosophy, and I gave him a lot of flak for being so "gamey".
The ratio of men to women was very poor that night; there were probably 1.5, maybe 2 men for every woman, and I could see a lot of large groups and couples, based on their body language and seating arrangements. Less than ideal for meeting girls, but I was actually trying to wing for my friend, so I wasn't really stressing.
We continue to shoot the breeze and talk about our friends that are in monogamous relationships (great bar banter, I know). We post up at the outside bar when a group of 4 girls pull up next to us. My friend is interested in the short, petite Asian girl, who was wearing an all-white outfit, white tank top and white tights, showing her midriff and her various tats.
My friend is a big "The Weeknd" fan, and he notices a number of related tattoos on her arm, but he's too nervous to initiate a convo. I'm standing right next to her, so I just tap her on the outside of her elbow.
"Hey, my friend has a question about your tats..." And so on and so forth. Turns out she's a big The Weeknd fan as well and they begin to chat about it. I can tell she's already pretty drunk, and I'm not particularly interested in this girl, so I let my friend continue chatting with her. We end up in a tight circle with the rest of her group, as the patio area begins getting more and more crowded.
In the midst of our convo, a short, overweight guy barges into our circle and shoves his finger in my face and asks the girl in the tights, "Is he your boyfriend?"
She's too drunk to really understand what he's doing, and I ignore his attempts to cockblock. What was more amusing to me was that he had me pegged as the leader (alpha) of the group, and he tried to tool me in front of the girls, and I really didn't give a shit, lmao. (Note: I came out to support my friend, as he had wanted to try this bar out, and I had no intention of really talking to any women that night, so I wasn't even in the mood for this idiot's sideshow)
Despite me blatantly ignoring him, he continues his little belligerent show by muttering more incoherent nonsense to anybody who would pay attention. He eventually puts his hand on my shoulder and starts trying to "help" me with the girls, telling them I look like a nice guy and that they should give me a chance. I shrug his hand off my shoulder and I give him the coldest death stare. After a moment he realizes he should not screw with me and awkwardly exits the group.
I turn back to the bar and lean against it, when my friend points out to my right a couple of girls. My friend points to the one with a striped mini-skirt and tells me he thinks she's super cute. I ask him if he wants me to bring them over to him, but he chickens out. (gets cold feet a lot) I keep pressing him to approach if he's interested, but just as my friend makes up his mind they head back to the indoor area.
My friend and I continue to shoot the breeze and decide to go back inside. I head to the bar and order a drink when I see the same two girls pull up to my right and plop themselves in the chairs next to me, despite there being more seats available along the bar. I take this as an approach invitation and open them.
Me: "So my friend over there *pointing to him* thinks you're really cute and wants to talk to you, but he's a little shy."
I don't remember the full conversation, but we basically go back and forth and I find out that they're a few years older than me. I could sense their interest up until I tell them my age (a mistake, I think. In hindsight, I should have deflected and moved to a different conversation thread, but oh well)
As soon as they find out my age, I go from potential lover to "little brother" status. In fact, they spent the rest of the night attempting to hook me up with other women around the bar. I had no intention of picking up that night, but I never turn down the opportunity to have fun interactions with women.
At one point, one of the girls drags me over to a table of 4 girls and 4 guys, all sitting across from each other, and tries to be my wing. I felt bad for the guys, as I could read their body language and they had no idea how to handle this intrusion into their group. I made eye contact with the group of girls and they were clearly feeling me, but out of sheer sympathy I played it dumb and disqualified myself to the girls: "My friend is really drunk and she doesn't know what's she's doing. You girls are all very beautiful, though." and I ejected.
I had a handful of drinks in me at this point and later parts of the night are kind of fuzzy. But overall, I enjoyed myself. I had no hidden agenda. I wasn't on the make, and I had only one goal that night, and it was to have fun talking to people and possibly help my friend meet someone cool. He did end up meeting a beautiful woman and grabbing her number.
The biggest takeaway I had from that night was how much I was relaxed and didn't care about results. It's one thing to say that you don't care, but actually being in a place where you're not concerned with getting a number or "attracting" a woman and just enjoying yourself and not needing a woman's approval is a great place to be.
Saturday night:
I roll up to the bar with my friend, it's a real low key place, kinda small, like a hole-in-the-wall, but the vibe is really good and they were playing a good mix of music.
It's still early, around 10:30, and my friend and I wait at the bar and order some drinks. As my friend peruses the menu, I lean against the bar and I can see from the corner of my eye two girls across the bar. One of them is stealing glances at me. I hold eye contact for a second, but I intentionally break first and continue talking to my friend.
We grab our drinks and we start walking towards the outer patio area, where there's a mini-dance floor flanked by several tables with stools and a smaller bar area to the side, where the DJ was playing tracks off his MacBook. My friend is a voracious consumer of pickup material and philosophy, and I gave him a lot of flak for being so "gamey".
The ratio of men to women was very poor that night; there were probably 1.5, maybe 2 men for every woman, and I could see a lot of large groups and couples, based on their body language and seating arrangements. Less than ideal for meeting girls, but I was actually trying to wing for my friend, so I wasn't really stressing.
We continue to shoot the breeze and talk about our friends that are in monogamous relationships (great bar banter, I know). We post up at the outside bar when a group of 4 girls pull up next to us. My friend is interested in the short, petite Asian girl, who was wearing an all-white outfit, white tank top and white tights, showing her midriff and her various tats.
My friend is a big "The Weeknd" fan, and he notices a number of related tattoos on her arm, but he's too nervous to initiate a convo. I'm standing right next to her, so I just tap her on the outside of her elbow.
"Hey, my friend has a question about your tats..." And so on and so forth. Turns out she's a big The Weeknd fan as well and they begin to chat about it. I can tell she's already pretty drunk, and I'm not particularly interested in this girl, so I let my friend continue chatting with her. We end up in a tight circle with the rest of her group, as the patio area begins getting more and more crowded.
In the midst of our convo, a short, overweight guy barges into our circle and shoves his finger in my face and asks the girl in the tights, "Is he your boyfriend?"
She's too drunk to really understand what he's doing, and I ignore his attempts to cockblock. What was more amusing to me was that he had me pegged as the leader (alpha) of the group, and he tried to tool me in front of the girls, and I really didn't give a shit, lmao. (Note: I came out to support my friend, as he had wanted to try this bar out, and I had no intention of really talking to any women that night, so I wasn't even in the mood for this idiot's sideshow)
Despite me blatantly ignoring him, he continues his little belligerent show by muttering more incoherent nonsense to anybody who would pay attention. He eventually puts his hand on my shoulder and starts trying to "help" me with the girls, telling them I look like a nice guy and that they should give me a chance. I shrug his hand off my shoulder and I give him the coldest death stare. After a moment he realizes he should not screw with me and awkwardly exits the group.
I turn back to the bar and lean against it, when my friend points out to my right a couple of girls. My friend points to the one with a striped mini-skirt and tells me he thinks she's super cute. I ask him if he wants me to bring them over to him, but he chickens out. (gets cold feet a lot) I keep pressing him to approach if he's interested, but just as my friend makes up his mind they head back to the indoor area.
My friend and I continue to shoot the breeze and decide to go back inside. I head to the bar and order a drink when I see the same two girls pull up to my right and plop themselves in the chairs next to me, despite there being more seats available along the bar. I take this as an approach invitation and open them.
Me: "So my friend over there *pointing to him* thinks you're really cute and wants to talk to you, but he's a little shy."
I don't remember the full conversation, but we basically go back and forth and I find out that they're a few years older than me. I could sense their interest up until I tell them my age (a mistake, I think. In hindsight, I should have deflected and moved to a different conversation thread, but oh well)
As soon as they find out my age, I go from potential lover to "little brother" status. In fact, they spent the rest of the night attempting to hook me up with other women around the bar. I had no intention of picking up that night, but I never turn down the opportunity to have fun interactions with women.
At one point, one of the girls drags me over to a table of 4 girls and 4 guys, all sitting across from each other, and tries to be my wing. I felt bad for the guys, as I could read their body language and they had no idea how to handle this intrusion into their group. I made eye contact with the group of girls and they were clearly feeling me, but out of sheer sympathy I played it dumb and disqualified myself to the girls: "My friend is really drunk and she doesn't know what's she's doing. You girls are all very beautiful, though." and I ejected.
I had a handful of drinks in me at this point and later parts of the night are kind of fuzzy. But overall, I enjoyed myself. I had no hidden agenda. I wasn't on the make, and I had only one goal that night, and it was to have fun talking to people and possibly help my friend meet someone cool. He did end up meeting a beautiful woman and grabbing her number.
The biggest takeaway I had from that night was how much I was relaxed and didn't care about results. It's one thing to say that you don't care, but actually being in a place where you're not concerned with getting a number or "attracting" a woman and just enjoying yourself and not needing a woman's approval is a great place to be.
