High value man theory and Taylor Swift

[Professor Oak]

Recently I read an article "What Do Girls Look for? They Look for This (Part I)" It says that women want the most valuable man they can get their hands on and therefore you should be aiming to be a high value man.

I subscribe to the high value man theory that's why Taylors relationship stands out to me and I'm curious to know what could have made it possible.

This is why it stands out: Taylor has a lot more men available to her than your regular 10 girl for obvious reasons. Also a ton of those men are what women consider high value men. She also dated these men: Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal,
Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Calvin Harris, Tom Hiddleston.

In May 2016 she meets Joe Alwyn who is going to become her boyfriend and her longest romantic relationship to date. He is a new actor. At the time he starred in one movie as the main role. He wasn't rich and didn't have a polished physique.

Keeping in mind the high value man theory this relationship shouldn't have been a thing, but it is. I'm curious to know your best guesses on what made Taylor fall in love with this guy over all the other options she had?

 

[Skills]

Recently I read an article "What Do Girls Look for? They Look for This (Part I)" It says that women want the most valuable man they can get their hands on and therefore you should be aiming to be a high value man.

I subscribe to the high value man theory that's why Taylors relationship stands out to me and I'm curious to know what could have made it possible.

This is why it stands out: Taylor has a lot more men available to her than your regular 10 girl for obvious reasons. Also a ton of those men are what women consider high value men. She also dated these men: Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal,
Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Calvin Harris, Tom Hiddleston.

In May 2016 she meets Joe Alwyn who is going to become her boyfriend and her longest romantic relationship to date. He is a new actor. At the time he starred in one movie as the main role. He wasn't rich and didn't have a polished physique.

Keeping in mind the high value man theory this relationship shouldn't have been a thing, but it is. I'm curious to know your best guesses on what made Taylor fall in love with this guy over all the other options she had?

Value is relative an mma fighter will have higher value in a self defense class for women, he will be low value at club vs a club promoter... a college professor highest value in an after class college tutoring, but a drug dealer at college party... those articles useless..

 

[ulrich]

In high profile celebrity circles, women get with some guys for the PR stunts… and sometimes the opposite can be true too.

There’s probably money or some other kind of interest involved in several if not most of those relationships.

It is not productive to use these women as representative of the general population.

 

[Professor Oak]

Value is relative an mma fighter will have higher value in a self defense class for women, he will be low value at club vs a club promoter... a college professor highest value in an after class college tutoring, but a drug dealer at college party... those articles useless..

So you are saying that Joe was the highest value man that was available to Taylor? I extremely doubt that.

 

[Professor Oak]

In high profile celebrity circles, women get with some guys for the PR stunts… and sometimes the opposite can be true too.

There’s probably money or some other kind of interest involved in several if not most of those relationships.

It is not productive to use these women as representative of the general population.

Let's assume there is no money or pr stunt or any alike interest involved. Why would she fall in love with this guy out of all the options?

I'm not using this woman as a representative for women in general. I just want to know your best guesses on this specific relationship.

 

[Conquistador]

Keeping in mind the high value man theory this relationship shouldn't have been a thing, but it is. I'm curious to know your best guesses on what made Taylor fall in love with this guy over all the other options she had?

A few points come to mind:
-Women make value decisions based on what they think a man's potential future value is, not necessarily current value.
-Of course women judge value according to their own subjective standards, although value judgments are to a greater or lesser extent socially mediated for most people.
Taylor's value calculations probably don't take celebrity status much into account. Why should they?
She's also in an unusual position in terms of mate choice/hypergamy/social status.

-The very fact that she spends a lot of time with "high value" celebrities, many of whom might be available to her, is going to lower the value. And she isn't going to be blinded by a man's having an entire country's worth of followers (she herself has 233M on Insta according to Wiki).

There's also the factor that Taylor is probably looking for qualities not often found among high-profile celebs, and that she herself is somewhat of an outsider.

Alwyn's notorious penchant for privacy and discretion may have appealed to her. Being under constant public scrutiny so that legions of bored housewives and teenage girls can greedily devour the intimate details of one's personal life gets tiresome after a while.

I do think, however, that there's only so much one can and should analyze a single emotional decision made by an individual, however high-profile she may be.

 

[ulrich]

Let's assume there is no money or pr stunt or any alike interest involved. Why would she fall in love with this guy out of all the options?

I'm not using this woman as a representative for women in general. I just want to know your best guesses on this specific relationship.

Who knows. Maybe that’s the best guy she can realistically get.

 

[Conquistador]

Who knows. Maybe that’s the best guy she can realistically get.

...I doubt it.

I think the real issue here is that OP is trying to fit reality into an uncomplicated theoretical model.

 

[Chase]

I think the real issue here is that OP is trying to fit reality into an uncomplicated theoretical model.

Indeed.

@Professor Oak,

Read this article:

How Many Attraction Factors are There? Infinite

One of the biggest obstacles for a lot of men when it comes to improving with women is fixating on the wrong thing. Much of this seems to come from improper understanding of some of the raw basics of attraction. When you see guys get hung up on one specific characteristic and blame that as the...

www.girlschase.com

Next, read this one:

Each Woman Has Different Tastes

Some men like A-cups, and some men like B. Some men like C-cups, or F-cups, or D. Some like their women as sharp as a hawk, But some prefer girls who are dumber than rock. And men all see beauty in each kind of face, 'Cause each man has different taste. If you talk to your buddies, you'll see no...

www.girlschase.com

Now, considering the ~2,000 or so top attraction factors, and taking what you know about Taylor Swift's individual tastes in men, plus based on what you know about each man she's been with, rank all her potential partners, based on what her likely ranking criteria are (not yours).

But wait! We're not ready to select her permanent long-term partner yet.

First we need to account for the fact that, while younger, she pursued the "try out many different partners" approach people take in sexually liberal societies. Then, once she reached an age she felt she'd done that enough, she entered "settle down" mode, at which point she started seeking to satisfice. Read these two articles to understand this process (men and women both go through it):

Satisficing and Seduction; or, Why You Probably Won't be a Bachelor Forever

I’m going to wade back into theory on this one, a la “Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns.” Only this time, we’ll be looking at the end game of picking up, instead of the middle game. Worth noting that some of the examples in this article are as well inspired by Nassim Taleb’s...

www.girlschase.com

Why People Settle Down: The 3-Step Settling Curve

I recently was privy to a conversation between a handful of women in their early- to mid-thirties. They were for the most part quite attractive and confident, and their careers were solid and their paychecks healthy. The conversation went something like this: Girl 1: I’m someone who thought...

www.girlschase.com

It's possible her current guy might not be as optimal for her, according to her tastes and her preferences, than one of her priors. It's also possible he's superior to them all in some key way (as she sees it). Also consider that she may have had a few of those guys she wanted to commit to her... but they declined... so she set her sights on a guy who was a safer bet for that.

You will see many people, both men and women, do this: date super attractive, successful, charismatic, popular people... then break up and commit to someone a few steps down from there.

In fact, you will see this advice thrown about online on various men's and women's sites and forums where people give each other advice: "Don't go for the hot guy. Go for the one who's always glad to see you." "Don't marry the hot girl. Marry the one who gives you a good meal and a shoulder rub after a hard day." The people giving this advice are those who failed to secure commitment from the most attractive partners they had, so lowered their sites to less attractive partners more willing to commit to them.

The tl;dr is there are a few possible answers:

1. He's actually a more attractive mate for her according to whatever her particular criteria are
   
   
2. He's equivalently or nearly as attractive as her priors to her, but his timing was better (for a committed LTR); had she met him earlier and one of the others later, perhaps she'd just have had a quick fling with him, while settling down with whichever of them she met later on
   
   
3. Or she may have been spurned by one or more of her more desirable partners, and lowered her sights to a 'safer' guy, more willing to commit, who nevertheless was still within the range of what she considers attractive as a partner

I don't know anything about her dating history or what her prior relationships look like... so the clues may be out there. Or not.

But it'll be one of those three.

Chase

 

[Professor Oak]

So she may have picked this guy because:

1. He's actually a more attractive mate for her according to whatever her particular criteria are
   
   
2. He's equivalently or nearly as attractive as her priors to her, but his timing was better (for a committed LTR); had she met him earlier and one of the others later, perhaps she'd just have had a quick fling with him, while settling down with whichever of them she met later on
   
   
3. Or she may have been spurned by one or more of her more desirable partners, and lowered her sights to a 'safer' guy, more willing to commit, who nevertheless was still within the range of what she considers attractive as a partner

4. It's also possible he's superior to them all in some key way (as she sees it).

I think it must be either because of reason 2 or reason 3. If it would be reason 1 or 4 it would contradict the high value man theory. Here is how:
In the article on the theory it says

On the other hand, what if you were THE most handsome, interesting, wealthy and well-connected man in the venue?

It’s obvious… you would automatically also be THE most desirable man to all the women there.

If she picked him because of reason 1 or reason 4 then that would mean that the high value man theory is incorrect and better advice would be "find out her particular criteria and try your best to fit the bill" and "find out how to be superior to other men in her life in some criteria which is very important (key) to her" instead of become a high value man.