FR Hollywood Blonde

[BarryS1]

8/2 Saturday 12-2pm

I was at the end of my vacation in SoCal, when my friend and I decided to go to Hollywood Blvd. for a couple hrs. I couldn’t stay longer than a couple hrs b/c I had to drive home. We spent most of the time snap chatting random stuff and eating food. It was the last time I was gonna see my friend for awhile, so I didn’t want to approach girls right away. When he left, I had a half hour to cut loose before leaving the area.

It was a Saturday, meaning the streets were crammed with people and performers. I have been to large cities before, but never seen so many attractive girls in groups between 18-25. I loved it, there were hundreds of them, about 80% being hotter than most girls I have ever seen. Not only did they have athletic bodies and attractive facial features, but were clothed exceptionally well.

My appearance:

Zara printed leaf shirt, tight black shorts hitting above the knee, tungsten ring on each finger, tungsten bracelet, aviator sunglasses and new van shoes. I had a sunburn on my face and neck, but it didn’t look horrible.

Comparing myself to guys of similar age, I was WAY overdressed. It seemed like the guys my age wore a college shirt with cargo pants and no accessories. However girls my age and older were dressed up, but guys older than 25 did wear nice clothes - STRANGE.

I was short on time, but wanted to approach a bad b@$%* - a southern california blonde. It took about 25min. to find a girl like that, but it was worth it. I was in the shopping center of the Dolby theatre, when I spotted a candy shop. I picked out a box of chocolates to bring home when I found a blonde darting around the store with a shopping basket. Two things hit my mind: 1) she’s alone b/c she has a basket and 2) that’s the hottest blonde I’ve ever seen!

Her description:

She had bright teal short-shorts, fancy gladiator gold sandals, t-shirt w/ logo, and jewelry on her wrists, fingers, and neck (she was blingged out). The girl had a slim waist, but KILLER curves. Her handbag strap separated her DD boobs (I love it when this happens) and her legs/ass were buff and tan. The craziest part - NO MAKEUP and totally blew away every single blonde I’ve seen. She was around 5'4'' and looked between 20-22.

Finally she stops scurrying around and heads to a corner of the store to look at taffy. Funny because there are a couple older men tailing her from opposite sides - probably some perverted dads checking a girl out LOL! I knew none of them were her dad b/c of the way they avoided looking at her for too long.

I pre-open by touching her elbow and looking away. Her reaction took me by surprise.

Me: Oh, hello.

Girl: Hiiiiiiii! (Super bubbly)

Me: I saw you walking by earlier (pregnant pause, she opens her mouth a little) and I had to say you look incredibly cute.

Girl: Oh my gosh THANKS!! Haha! Wow!

Me: I’m Barry! (extends hand)

Girl: I’m X! Nice to MEET you! Things like this doesn’t usually happen to me!

Me: No, hold on! You are doing this to me. I can’t just walk by and not say anything.

Girl: (Laughs and turns body towards me in investment)

Me: So what do you mean by things like this?

Girl: (Serious and low voice) Okay, guys will like say the most sexual things when I walk by, its disgusting. (Switched to bubbly mode) But your complement was really sweet I liked it.

Me: Yeah, that’ weird. The sexual comments are supposed come later in the conversation though (raise my eyebrows up and down at the end). (I pinch her arm too).

Girl: Oh my gosh NO!! (Laughs)

(I start deep-diving on what she’s picking out b/c we are both getting chocolate. Turns out she is from South Africa and here for two more days before leaving back home. She wants to be an actress and work in LA. I notice her rubbing her lower back and shuffling around uncomfortably).

Me: Does your back hurt or something? Do you want me to hold your basket?

Girl: No no no. It’s okay! (She said hurriedly)

Me: (I dazed off for a 1/2 sec.)

Girl: I am in such a rush today, so many things to do before I have to go home.

Me: So did you get a job here? Is that why you have to go back

Girl: (Changes the story saying she was here for an acting certification for 12 weeks and is going back in two days)

Me: So have you had a going away party yet or done something crazy?

Girl: Noooooo! I don’t have time for that anymore! (She is bubbly still but notice a slight edge like she’s ticked or something)

Me: Okay

Girl: Maybe we will see each other on Facebook or something.

Me: I’m not on Facebook.

Girl: What!? (shocked expression like seeing a blue elephant) Oh my gosh, really?

Me: Well how about a hug goodbye?

(Girl takes a couple steps forward and gives me a strong side hug b/c she has a basket in her hand)

Me: I think you need a kiss goodbye too.

Girl: Oh my gosh! I’m good. Bye Barry. (Backs off and walks away)

Overview:

I wanted to get a read on my skills on a girl I was really into. I still can't attract the type of girls I am interested in yet. I've still got a LOT of work to do.

The biggest valley girl I’ve ever met, and she wasn’t even from the US! I loved learning how she emphasized certain words in the conversation and I tried conveying that in this FR. She would change face after each sentence - CRAZY. I have never met a girl that bubbly before and I’ve meet lots of them up north. She was trying to leave from the middle of the conversation, but didn’t want to be unpolite.

 

[BarryS1]

Hey Barry, this is a nice report I can relate to a lot of what you experienced in LA. I haven't been but the girls around my age that I've met here in Paris tend to dress very well. While most of the teenage guys are all dressed like trending rap artists, I guess that once we reach a certain age we are expected to dress a certain way. As for me, girls tend to assume I'm in my twenties because of the clothes I wear, it's quite nice actually.

Casanova Jr., I glanced over your journal a couple times this summer. Paris must be great ground for meeting younger girls, especially since everyone is on vacation! Yeah its quite strange! Another thing I noticed down there was that guys in our age range were clean-shaven. No one had slight stubble like I did. If guys in the 25+ age range had facial hair, it was distinctive with goatees, bull-staches, or beards.

When she tells you that guys make sexual comments directed at her, you agree saying that it is weird. Even though you wear teasing her you agreed to her frame for the most part. Thus making it weird for you to get sexual with her since you said "yeah, guys getting sexual is weird". Evidence of this was when you asked for a kiss and she declined you. Me personally? I would have probably gone to find a more sexual girl since I don't enjoy frame battles very much. But! If you question her frame asking her why it's disgusting. After she gives her reason (e.g. "I think it's perverted that guys only think about me in a sexual way") You can come with your own frame (e.g. "I don't see getting sexual as perverted, after all sex is what brought us here. Its part of our nature as men and women. And what man can resist a sexy girl?) You give her the opportunity to submit to your frame making further physical escalation easier since she now agrees that "getting sexual is natural". It's possible to push for sex with completely different frames but that would bring a ton of resistance on her part. I actually have a report on this, however I'm unsure whether to post it in my journal or in the field reports board.

It totally went past me that I was having a frame battle with her! *forehead slap* She threw me off by complementing my approach and I didn't even notice it. I remember reading NarrowJ's LR's about girls complementing him saying he was "right in the middle between too strong and too weak." Then somewhere in the conversation he goes into a story saying how men should look at women as the sexual creatures they are, ect.

I completely agree with you that I should have questioned her frame. I can see this happening when a girl who gets approached a lot and meets a guy fitting her preferences (like Narrow J). I've never had a girl tell me right off the bat that guys hit on her. I have known a lot of bubbly, outgoing girls like her that get sexual attention early on b/c guys feel comfortable with her reception - I know I did I chased a girl in college that constantly had guys getting sexual within minutes and after telling them this same thing, they would push and get blown out.

In fact, it was something like this:

Guys always think I'm flirting when them, but that's the way I am. They say the creepiest things to me.

Post it! I would read it!

Once again this is just something I would do that might have made a difference. And I feel pretty weird giving advice to someone further ahead than I am in the school of seduction. I just read this report and "frame battle" was the first thing that came to mind. Good luck out there!

Thanks for your input Casanova.Jr! I'm always open to feedback and yours was really good! This really connected the dots for me, especially some interactions in the past.

 

[Chase]

Barry-

Nice initial approach, and got off to a strong start. This one quickly went off the rails through a few conversational missteps (like the one Casanova Jr. pointed out), but that's the easiest to fix - if the initial warm reception's there (which it was for you), everything else is just getting the right game down and then you're solid.

Comments:

Me: Oh, hello.

Girl: Hiiiiiiii! (Super bubbly)

Me: I saw you walking by earlier (pregnant pause, she opens her mouth a little) and I had to say you look incredibly cute.

Girl: Oh my gosh THANKS!! Haha! Wow!

Me: I’m Barry! (extends hand)

Girl: I’m X! Nice to MEET you! Things like this doesn’t usually happen to me!

Good start here. She's warm. She's acting a little friendly with the "Oh, this doesn't happen to me!" right away thing, which sounds more like she considers herself a contest winner than a girl being swept off her feet. But that's okay - you can work with that.

Next up:

Me: No, hold on! You are doing this to me. I can’t just walk by and not say anything.

Girl: (Laughs and turns body towards me in investment)

The comment by you here was a little weak (hung up on the topic of the opener here) and actually a little combative ("No, you're the one doing it to me!"), but you hung in there and she started to invest off the strength of your first impression.

However, you had the right idea of running with what she gave you rather than ignoring it outright - however, rather than getting combative or acting quizzical or confused, you want to clarify in a way that makes it clear that this is a good thing for her and you are an exceptional man:

• Her: I’m X! Nice to MEET you! Things like this doesn’t usually happen to me!
  
  You: Handsome men approaching you on the street to remark upon your charm?

Me: So what do you mean by things like this?

Nope. Don't ask her to define it, because you probably won't get a favorable definition, even if she likes you. She's going to tend to be reserved, or logical, or looking to inflate her own value early on. It's your job to lead her and provide an explanation for her surprise that makes BOTH of you look good (like the one I used just above).

Girl: (Serious and low voice) Okay, guys will like say the most sexual things when I walk by, its disgusting. (Switched to bubbly mode) But your complement was really sweet I liked it.

Me: Yeah, that’ weird. The sexual comments are supposed come later in the conversation though (raise my eyebrows up and down at the end). (I pinch her arm too).

Like Casanova Jr. noted, by agreeing sexual comments are weird you're miming typical nice guy opening lines. Even if you're going somewhere good with it later (and telling her "those are supposed to come later in the conversation" is a good line!), starting off with anything that triggers a kneejerk "Oop, we've got a nice guy here" sort of reaction is harmful to your cause. Even if it isn't where you end up, the seed's already been planted.

Some better alternatives:

• Her: (Serious and low voice) Okay, guys will like say the most sexual things when I walk by, its disgusting. (Switched to bubbly mode) But your complement was really sweet I liked it.
  
  You: I hate it when men catcall me and tell me to whip it out. It's just obscene.

or

• Her: (Serious and low voice) Okay, guys will like say the most sexual things when I walk by, its disgusting. (Switched to bubbly mode) But your complement was really sweet I liked it.
  
  You: You know, I was going to go with something like that originally but figured I'd switch it up since you've got the hot pants on.

or

• Her: (Serious and low voice) Okay, guys will like say the most sexual things when I walk by, its disgusting. (Switched to bubbly mode) But your complement was really sweet I liked it.
  
  You: Just buttering you up so I can say crude things to you later.

(I start deep-diving on what she’s picking out b/c we are both getting chocolate. Turns out she is from South Africa and here for two more days before leaving back home. She wants to be an actress and work in LA. I notice her rubbing her lower back and shuffling around uncomfortably).

Me: Does your back hurt or something? Do you want me to hold your basket?

Man, so many good threads you could've launched into there... but you picked the back hurting! Many better things to pick.

Remember: the things that people talk about with you are what they come to associate you with in their heads. Make it fun and inspiration and excitement and intrigue, and you'll be all those things to them. Make it boring stuff and tiredness and a sore back and nice guy / creepy guy dichotomies, and you'll be that instead.

Instead of asking this girl things like if she's tired or sore, ask her things like, "So you must speak Afrikaans," or, "What kind of an actress - one of those deep, thoughtful ones, or the one who runs around screaming in the horror movie and gets her shirt ripped off?"

Make it fun, enjoyable, uplifting, and engaging, rather than boring, ordinary, pedestrian, and plain.

Also, don't offer to invest in women who aren't investing in you. It's gentlemanly, and it *can* be attractive, but only with women who are sufficiently invested in you OR so clearly into you that it'll be okay - and if you're going to do it that way, command, don't ask:

• You: Do you want me to hold your basket?

^ No, of course not.

• You: (taking her basket) Here, give this to me, milady, and let me ferry you about this labyrinthine chocolate shop.

^ Yes!

Girl: I am in such a rush today, so many things to do before I have to go home.

Me: So did you get a job here? Is that why you have to go back

This is put up or shut up time - she's telling you time is short. Now's not the time to make idle chit chat and ask boring questions - it's time to sort out logistics (she's jumping continents, and you're not from here anyway - you'll never see her again if you let her go) and lead:

• Her: I am in such a rush today, so many things to do before I have to go home.
  
  You: What time do you leave?
  
  Her: 7:30 tonight.
  
  You: And what do you still have to do before you go?
  
  Her: Well, I have to finish getting souvenirs for my family, and then I have to pack, then head to the airport.
  
  You: And what hotel are you staying at?
  
  Her: The Holiday Inn Hollywood.
  
  You: Okay, that's right here in town. So about 25 minutes more of shopping, another 10 minutes of heading back to the hotel, and 25 minutes of packing and getting ready and checking out. Plus an hour commute to the airport and an hour-and-a-half in the airport / terminal, just to be safe. So that leaves you about two hours spare.
  
  Her: I guess, yeah.
  
  You: I've only got an hour myself before I have to head back to the Midwest. Tell you what; let's have a quick adventure in our last free time in this city before we both part separate ways forever. We'll never have another chance like this.

Sort logistics, make her realize how much free time she's got left, then paint the picture of doing something crazy, wild, impulsive, and memorable before she's out of there. Then get to it.

Girl: (Changes the story saying she was here for an acting certification for 12 weeks and is going back in two days)

Me: So have you had a going away party yet or done something crazy?

Girl: Noooooo! I don’t have time for that anymore! (She is bubbly still but notice a slight edge like she’s ticked or something)

At this point the escalation windows have been missed and the nice guy conversation's gone on too long... she doesn't want it to continue.

But she was at least open to you early on - had things taken a different path, this interaction may well have had a better end.

Girl: Maybe we will see each other on Facebook or something.

Me: I’m not on Facebook.

Girl: What!? (shocked expression like seeing a blue elephant) Oh my gosh, really?

Me: Well how about a hug goodbye?

Nice play going for the shock factor here. Although you could've done far more with it had you responded to her surprise another way:

• 
  Her: Maybe we will see each other on Facebook or something.
  
  You: I’m not on Facebook.
  
  Her: What!? (shocked expression like seeing a blue elephant) Oh my gosh, really?
  
  You: Tell you what - it's goodbye for good if we part ways now. But I'd like to take you on a spontaneous adventure while both of us are here and in the flesh, right now. Something for you to always remember L.A. with warmth and fondness, no matter whether you come back to act or never come back at all. Shall we go?

(Girl takes a couple steps forward and gives me a strong side hug b/c she has a basket in her hand)

Me: I think you need a kiss goodbye too.

Girl: Oh my gosh! I’m good. Bye Barry. (Backs off and walks away)

The hug / kiss thing I'm guessing you did just to see what you could pull off, yeah? In that case it's fine. Normally though, I'd recommend neither of these - escalate things to a close or bust. If you can see her again, get a date commitment and grab her digits. No platonic hugs / kisses - those are for the nice guys. Build tension, don't release it.

If you're not going to see her again, insist that she come with you. If SHE goes for a hug, insist she come with you instead. She wants to defuse the tension by hugging you (alternately, when YOU ask for a hug and/or kiss, this is also what you're doing - you're defusing tension so you can breathe a sigh of relief and let your shoulders down a bit and feel better. Feels nice at the time because most people don't like tension, but damages your chances at pulling something off with her later on). Instead, let the tension hang in the air and make it so that the only options she has for resolving it are coming with you or walking away. She'll be more inclined to go with you because that's the only path she has to a "good" release of the tension rather than a "bad" one (walking away from a cool guy she has a good vibe with without a hug / kiss / physical gesture of "We're ending this on good terms").

I wanted to get a read on my skills on a girl I was really into. I still can't attract the type of girls I am interested in yet. I've still got a LOT of work to do.

The biggest valley girl I’ve ever met, and she wasn’t even from the US! I loved learning how she emphasized certain words in the conversation and I tried conveying that in this FR. She would change face after each sentence - CRAZY. I have never met a girl that bubbly before and I’ve meet lots of them up north. She was trying to leave from the middle of the conversation, but didn’t want to be unpolite.

My feedback here might be too much actually - I think it seems like you're still just getting your footing, rather than trying to take it to the next level. If the main point of the approach here was just to push outside your comfort zone and build up some reference points, then in that case, JOB WELL DONE.

However, there was plenty of potential in this interaction, and once you've got a bit more experience under your belt I think you'll be able to pull off some magic with situations like these, Barry.

Chase

 

[BarryS1]

Chase, thanks again for your insight. It's gonna take me a couple days to piece all your advice together, but the one I connected with most was setting up logistics in advance.

This is put up or shut up time - she's telling you time is short. Now's not the time to make idle chit chat and ask boring questions - it's time to sort out logistics (she's jumping continents, and you're not from here anyway - you'll never see her again if you let her go) and lead:

Her: I am in such a rush today, so many things to do before I have to go home.

You: What time do you leave?

Her: 7:30 tonight.

You: And what do you still have to do before you go?

Her: Well, I have to finish getting souvenirs for my family, and then I have to pack, then head to the airport.

You: And what hotel are you staying at?

Her: The Holiday Inn Hollywood.

You: Okay, that's right here in town. So about 25 minutes more of shopping, another 10 minutes of heading back to the hotel, and 25 minutes of packing and getting ready and checking out. Plus an hour commute to the airport and an hour-and-a-half in the airport / terminal, just to be safe. So that leaves you about two hours spare.

Her: I guess, yeah.

You: I've only got an hour myself before I have to head back to the Midwest. Tell you what; let's have a quick adventure in our last free time in this city before we both part separate ways forever. We'll never have another chance like this.

Sort logistics, make her realize how much free time she's got left, then paint the picture of doing something crazy, wild, impulsive, and memorable before she's out of there. Then get to it.

I have come into soooo many interactions like this the last couple months where the girl is short on time and I give up. This summer I have met girls right before vacations, going back to school, ect. Next time a girl gives bad timing as an excuse, I can use this!

The hug / kiss thing I'm guessing you did just to see what you could pull off, yeah? In that case it's fine. Normally though, I'd recommend neither of these - escalate things to a close or bust. If you can see her again, get a date commitment and grab her digits. No platonic hugs / kisses - those are for the nice guys. Build tension, don't release it.

Yeah, you're right. I was doing it to lead to a kiss. I was too big of a horndog at the end and couldn't keep things together

My feedback here might be too much actually - I think it seems like you're still just getting your footing, rather than trying to take it to the next level. If the main point of the approach here was just to push outside your comfort zone and build up some reference points, then in that case, JOB WELL DONE.

However, there was plenty of potential in this interaction, and once you've got a bit more experience under your belt I think you'll be able to pull off some magic with situations like these, Barry.

Most of my approaches are daygame in a shopping environment, but I've never picked up on the things you highlighted. Really glad about posting this FR because I've been making these types of mistakes for months. I'll definitely keep a note on avoiding frame battles, maintaining a positive/exciting aurora, and setting up logistics during a time crunch.

Can't thank you enough Chase!