Recently, it dawned on me - to my horror - that the two girls I'm sleeping with are mids. Oh, the humanity. No two ways around it, hard 5s by anyone's definition (though I do have a blossoming addiction to the F cups on the younger one.)
With that said, I want to acknowledge publicly that the fault lays squarely at my own feet, and there's no easy way out of this beyond simply upping my game. My skills have languished from years of monogamy and nose-to-the-grindstone labor, leaving me in the unenviable position I find myself in today. Now, that all ends.
The FRs I'm going to start posting probably won't be of interest to anyone but myself, this one least of all. Nothing interesting happened, but I'm going to start posting here to track my progress, organize my thinking, and, with God's help, conquer this terrible affliction.
A Random Girl At The Karaoke Bar
Not much of an improvement. Off to a bad start. After watching a few acquaintances smoke a blunt on the patio, I turned my head to see a girl of average appearance sitting alone at another booth. Brown hair, normal BMI, all four limbs. Launched my bulletproof opener - "Hey, how's your night going?"
Soon, I'll figure out a template that works for me. Here I will experiment with it a bit.
Topics of Conversation:
The neighborhood and where we live. How long we've been here. Where we're from. She was from Colorado, where I had been two days earlier. Told her I'd gone skiing for the first time in 17 years, that it's one of two goals I have for 2024. The other is to learn how to ride a horse.
Subcommunications:
I've lived here a lot longer than she has, so talked about the neighborhood and people to suggest she could get plugged in better by knowing me.
DHV attempt in mentioning ski trips out west
Mostly stayed very calm and lowkey, but slowly ramped up humor and casualness
High Points:
At some point she said her family had been in Colorado since the 1800s, and I said "Wow, you made it pretty far into this conversation before mentioning that. Usually people tell you they're 5th Generation Colorado in the first 10 seconds of a convo, lol." She laughed pretty hard at that, a weird little nuance I noticed when I spent time there in the past.
When I said I was going to take lessons to ride a horse, she perked up since she started riding them when she was 5.
When the rapport was good and she had really warmed up, a random guy came over and started talking to us. He was pretty dorky and she wasn't into him, so when he was settled in and we were in a group of three, I decided to bounce since I wanted to go anyway, and had a vague feeling that if I left her with this new guy, his mediocrity would highlight my absence, leaving a stronger impression in the aftermath. When the conversation came to a lull, I said, "Hey, I need to go, but can I just be real and vulnerable about something for a second?" Both of them quieted down and looked at me with dutiful seriousness, prepared to respond to whatever I was about to confess. Slowly and meaningfully, with a level tone, I said, "I am going to learn how to ride a horse on Sunday, and I am terrified. I'm convinced the horse will not like me. I'm convinced my arrogance will rub him the wrong way, and the horse will try to teach me a lesson. I know you've been riding horses since you were 5. Can we please meet up in the next day or two so you can coach me on what to expect, and the principles of safe horsemanship?" She said yes, I would love that, and texted my phone.
Anyway, idk if I'm going to hit her up or not. I don't know if I even like horse girls. She did text me again a couple hours later reiterating that she was happy to help.
With that said, I want to acknowledge publicly that the fault lays squarely at my own feet, and there's no easy way out of this beyond simply upping my game. My skills have languished from years of monogamy and nose-to-the-grindstone labor, leaving me in the unenviable position I find myself in today. Now, that all ends.
The FRs I'm going to start posting probably won't be of interest to anyone but myself, this one least of all. Nothing interesting happened, but I'm going to start posting here to track my progress, organize my thinking, and, with God's help, conquer this terrible affliction.
A Random Girl At The Karaoke Bar
Not much of an improvement. Off to a bad start. After watching a few acquaintances smoke a blunt on the patio, I turned my head to see a girl of average appearance sitting alone at another booth. Brown hair, normal BMI, all four limbs. Launched my bulletproof opener - "Hey, how's your night going?"
Soon, I'll figure out a template that works for me. Here I will experiment with it a bit.
Topics of Conversation:
The neighborhood and where we live. How long we've been here. Where we're from. She was from Colorado, where I had been two days earlier. Told her I'd gone skiing for the first time in 17 years, that it's one of two goals I have for 2024. The other is to learn how to ride a horse.
Subcommunications:
I've lived here a lot longer than she has, so talked about the neighborhood and people to suggest she could get plugged in better by knowing me.
DHV attempt in mentioning ski trips out west
Mostly stayed very calm and lowkey, but slowly ramped up humor and casualness
High Points:
At some point she said her family had been in Colorado since the 1800s, and I said "Wow, you made it pretty far into this conversation before mentioning that. Usually people tell you they're 5th Generation Colorado in the first 10 seconds of a convo, lol." She laughed pretty hard at that, a weird little nuance I noticed when I spent time there in the past.
When I said I was going to take lessons to ride a horse, she perked up since she started riding them when she was 5.
When the rapport was good and she had really warmed up, a random guy came over and started talking to us. He was pretty dorky and she wasn't into him, so when he was settled in and we were in a group of three, I decided to bounce since I wanted to go anyway, and had a vague feeling that if I left her with this new guy, his mediocrity would highlight my absence, leaving a stronger impression in the aftermath. When the conversation came to a lull, I said, "Hey, I need to go, but can I just be real and vulnerable about something for a second?" Both of them quieted down and looked at me with dutiful seriousness, prepared to respond to whatever I was about to confess. Slowly and meaningfully, with a level tone, I said, "I am going to learn how to ride a horse on Sunday, and I am terrified. I'm convinced the horse will not like me. I'm convinced my arrogance will rub him the wrong way, and the horse will try to teach me a lesson. I know you've been riding horses since you were 5. Can we please meet up in the next day or two so you can coach me on what to expect, and the principles of safe horsemanship?" She said yes, I would love that, and texted my phone.
Anyway, idk if I'm going to hit her up or not. I don't know if I even like horse girls. She did text me again a couple hours later reiterating that she was happy to help.
