- Joined
- Jul 4, 2015
- Messages
- 40
Hello all,
so I'm new to the boards but not new to the site; needless to say the site has been incredibly helpful in my endeavours with both women and the world.
I would say my current level is intermediate. However I have never had a girlfriend mainly because my main goal is to get dream girlfriend(s) (aka dating upwards) and I'm not quite at the ability to bring those girls into my life for as long as I want in sexual relationships.
This latest story of mine displays where I'm currently at - I will appreciate all comments as maybe there are some pieces of the puzzle I have not quite put together yet. That being said I feel that one thing this website is lacking is a guide on how to navigate the high quality women into quality relationships. They can be the hardest to pin down hopefully as my tale below highlights.
The Lay
So my housemate went on holiday for 3 weeks and lent his room out on spareroom.com. Cue beautiful 21 year old European girl with killer eyes. Now I know not to use the 1-10 scale on women but this girl has men chasing her a lot and definitely is the high value I'm looking for. She looks round the flat and has drinks with me and the other housemates, then wants to go out to a bar. During this time she gave me some subtle signs of interest. On the way to the bar I kiss her, first time she resists, second she gives in. At the bar I'm teasing her and subtly physically escalating her with kissing and touching. She invites a friend (another male suitor to the bar) but I'm already in there. I deter the competition and we go back to her current flat and become lovers. I used the tips on this website and I'm 99% certain I did a good job. She was moaning for a number of minutes after sex and we had to stop because she couldn't take any more. In the morning she didn't want sex - these two factors suggest to me she has a fairly low sex drive.
Thanks to this website my post lay management is also decent. I take her for breakfast and deep dive for the first time in the interaction finding out she's just broken up with her Bf, I reassure and say I'm sure she’ll find somebody. She asks if I want to live with her and I pause before saying yes. I end the interaction and she seems much taken with me, we agree to see each other when she moves in. I leave feeling it couldn't have gone any better.
Thoughts: I did I believe make one mistake at this stage and that was not to get her number, however I thought she was moving in and her coming into my house is so good for Law of least effort (LLE) that I need not do anything. Another point is that this lay was relatively easy for a girl of this calibre, apart from having to deter the other suitor she was basically already mine
Living Together for 3 Weeks
So due to a mix up in dates she doesn't move in until 2 weeks after the initial lay, when I was told it was only 9 days (stupid housemates messing my game!). Needless to say 2 weeks is a long time and when she moves in she talks about some other guy she likes (and has slept with in the meantime). I'm a little disgruntled after all I don't want some other dude in my house sleeping with a girl when I should be doing that! Either way I deal with it ok and then the next day she mentions she actually thinking about ending it with him because he likes her more than she likes him and she doesn't like that.
Thought: How does a girl sleeping with another man affect her view of you? Moreover if I had got her phone number and set up another meet soon I might not be in this mess? How many times do you need to sleep with a girl to make her yours?
My approach to the 3 weeks was to try and sleep with her again whilst simultaneously deep diving and building a connection.
Connection Building
Fortunately the strongest aspect of my game is deep diving and we struck and incredibly close relationship. I know everything about her, what makes her tick, her deepest darkest fears, her dreams and aspirations etc. I help support her against her fears for which she has many and in return I slowly let her pick away at my past revealing myself in layers as discussed in this site. She was intrigued by me and I know I was her rock as I'm an emotionally stable man and she has none of those in her life.
Physical Escalation
Thanks to this site I adopted the mantra of move faster. On the first day in the house we kissed and talked about getting this other guy out of her life. On the third day (didn't see her on the 2nd) I went for a full on physical escalation. I came back from work incredibly horny and went for a bold "out of know where" physical escalation, slammed her into the wall dragged her too the bed... she was turned on I started kissing her neck... but there was a pause phase where I know I should have taken a step back, but I didn't because this was the first time I was trying anything as bold as this. She closed up and asked if I was going to hate her now. "Not at all I replied" and she was shocked to see it didn't faze me (thanks to this site again!). The rest of the evening the sexual tension was through the roof and I knew she wanted me to try again but I didn't before my housemate came back.
Thoughts: so I know a failed physical escalation is a death sentence if you have never slept with a woman before but I have come back from failed escalations previously with other women I had slept with before so I didn't think it was too bad. What's other peoples experience with this?
On the 4th day we went for a run and deep dived, she opened up and said she didn't know when to settle with men, how do you know if there is one better around the corner? I said I wouldn't hold it against her if she went on dates with other people. We had a closeness on this day and after some pre-drinks she was very touchy feely and she’s usually a girl who against that. We held hands and almost kissed. She also said we haven't sex in 3 weeks and squeezed my leg, something she did when we first slept together. We went out on separate nights but she drunk text me on the night out about how my night was. There was one point in this evening where I acted in disgust when I thought she said something couply. However this was the only time I really disqualified myself as a bf.
Thoughts: Should I have gone on a run with her? I probably shouldn't have held her hand I think I was far too boyfriendy even at this point and our other housemate commented on how much of a couple we were. Moreover this night she was the most primed for sex but I didn't feel there was the opportunity to make it happen as we were going to separate nights - is it this night when I should have physically escalated - before the club?
Next interaction was a few days later where we spent the day together cooking some food and drinking and talking. I portrayed myself as an ambitious man, with life goals and we able to talk in depth and share similarities. She said she was going on a date which I was ok with, but the date cancelled. We had a really nice day and I kissed her good night deciding not to physical escalate this day (don't want to do it too often!). We also talk about her ex-boyfriend and other ex-guys in her life - should I not do this? Is this making me too far into the friend category?
Thursday comes along and we have drinks with one of my friends, the girl keeps banging on about how I've got to visit her when she’s gone. We get back to the flat and at this point I have deep dived so much she feels very comfortable around me and that I understand her well. I have also been revealing myself in layers so she is curious too. She is in my lap in bra and knickers, we get together and I run my hands up and down her body but she will not let me touch private areas. Needless to say despite my efforts I can only get this far, but I feel that sex is something she should be giving me given the closeness of our relationship... it can't really work without sex. I went to bed disgruntled.
Thoughts: I never once questioned why she wouldn't have sex with me, she just mentioned she needs to feel more comfortable... however is there a point after you've slept with someone once that you should be raising the question around sex logically? I know this is very unattractive but if you providing so much value and getting nothing in return are you not allowed to logically raise this question?
I feel after the Thursday above was a turning point, I stopped obeying LLE and I believe she knew I liked her and wasn't a challenge. However the last days were filled with more of the same with failed escalation. One time she slept in my bed (her decision) but said I was too drunk to have sex (I probably was). In bed i told her I'd got her back regarding her insecurities (probably shouldn't have done this!). We were very coupley with a lot of kissing and cuddling but no sex... so I should have known at the time how much of an issue this was but part of me thought it was attributable to her low sex drive. On the last night we were supposed to spend it together and I was going to reveal the last layer of myself, something very personal that she could have learnt from. However she said she ended up staying at friend’s house because it was more logical (she got a lift to the airport). The next day she sent me a very soppy text about how much of an awesome guy I was and that she was glad to have met me. I reciprocated.
Thoughts: I looked through the post on what women need, I did all of the 1-7 things in the post at one point or another: I put her at ease, intrigued her, challenged her (at the begging), made her feel accepted, created anticipation, understood her and seduced her (once). However I was never able to do all these things at the same time and I wasn't a challenge towards the end... Moreover if you look at what women want I was her friend, lover and provider at certain points it’s just the balance slipped from under my control into hers. Why is this? Is it purely failure to follow LLE? Should I have not tried it on with her and just played it chill and let her come to me (seeing as we were living together)? Moreover does living with someone change your chances of hooking up with them?
Final Days
Needless to say we kept in contact, using skype and messaging maybe on average on once or twice a week. I always waited for her to initiate a conversation 70% of the time. I would say my text game is relatively good. She said she missed me, was feeling depressed at one point and played on my emotional support for her to agree to come meet her in her home city. She sent me a cheeky text of her in a bikini and winking saying she can't wait to see me etc...
When I got there I was emasculated and insulted, she had just officially moved me into the friend zone as an orbiter. She had gone back with some other guy on her last day in my city and even though she hadn't slept with him she was texting him all day everyday - he was coming to visit her next week and they had agreed to do some travelling together. She also mentioned he had an on/off girlfriend.
She then spent her time with me talking about some really deep issues in her life and expecting me to deal with them for absolutely no reciprocation... not even talking about my life, whilst she wasn't doing that she spent the rest of her time on her phone to this guy. It was humiliating she even asked me to decipher one of his texts to her because she couldn't work out what it was in English. Now I know she didn't mean to lead me on, on purpose but I feel she completely overstepped the line by doing this. I am in no way bitter towards her but I let her know subtly that I didn't want to be in her life much longer and she would have to find a new rock. Strangely she still wanted to kiss and cuddle me but I didn't try and physical escalation because of the way she treated me... I don't want to invest anymore time in her.
Thoughts: How has some guy who is using ineffective text game (texting all day!) and not slept with her managed to win her over, the only thing he can have done in the very limited time he actually met her face to face (one or two days) was be a challenge and not like her as much due to the fact of this on/off gf. I doubt he fulfilled any of her other needs. I know every girl is different but I feel like I have done 90% of things right and this guy has just done the 10% right that I didn't do and won. Is this just the nature of all women or high value women specifically? They appear to want certain desires more than the ones they actually need the most? As i mention at the top of this post she mentioned she doesn't like it when the guy likes her more, i couldn't help but like her more but I really should have taken heed of this... Whats best for not liking her too quickly? LLE i guess?
Will getting a beautiful g/f get easier with the more beautiful women i sleep with? I certainly hope so! Moreover I really don't want to get a g/f just for the sake of it but I notice men who use women as stepping stones to constantly improve from one woman to the next. I deplore this but it seems to work
.
She will inevitably come looking to me for support in the future what would you recommend? It’s hard to break contact 100%...
Sorry for the long post, all comments welcome...
so I'm new to the boards but not new to the site; needless to say the site has been incredibly helpful in my endeavours with both women and the world.
I would say my current level is intermediate. However I have never had a girlfriend mainly because my main goal is to get dream girlfriend(s) (aka dating upwards) and I'm not quite at the ability to bring those girls into my life for as long as I want in sexual relationships.
This latest story of mine displays where I'm currently at - I will appreciate all comments as maybe there are some pieces of the puzzle I have not quite put together yet. That being said I feel that one thing this website is lacking is a guide on how to navigate the high quality women into quality relationships. They can be the hardest to pin down hopefully as my tale below highlights.
The Lay
So my housemate went on holiday for 3 weeks and lent his room out on spareroom.com. Cue beautiful 21 year old European girl with killer eyes. Now I know not to use the 1-10 scale on women but this girl has men chasing her a lot and definitely is the high value I'm looking for. She looks round the flat and has drinks with me and the other housemates, then wants to go out to a bar. During this time she gave me some subtle signs of interest. On the way to the bar I kiss her, first time she resists, second she gives in. At the bar I'm teasing her and subtly physically escalating her with kissing and touching. She invites a friend (another male suitor to the bar) but I'm already in there. I deter the competition and we go back to her current flat and become lovers. I used the tips on this website and I'm 99% certain I did a good job. She was moaning for a number of minutes after sex and we had to stop because she couldn't take any more. In the morning she didn't want sex - these two factors suggest to me she has a fairly low sex drive.
Thanks to this website my post lay management is also decent. I take her for breakfast and deep dive for the first time in the interaction finding out she's just broken up with her Bf, I reassure and say I'm sure she’ll find somebody. She asks if I want to live with her and I pause before saying yes. I end the interaction and she seems much taken with me, we agree to see each other when she moves in. I leave feeling it couldn't have gone any better.
Thoughts: I did I believe make one mistake at this stage and that was not to get her number, however I thought she was moving in and her coming into my house is so good for Law of least effort (LLE) that I need not do anything. Another point is that this lay was relatively easy for a girl of this calibre, apart from having to deter the other suitor she was basically already mine
Living Together for 3 Weeks
So due to a mix up in dates she doesn't move in until 2 weeks after the initial lay, when I was told it was only 9 days (stupid housemates messing my game!). Needless to say 2 weeks is a long time and when she moves in she talks about some other guy she likes (and has slept with in the meantime). I'm a little disgruntled after all I don't want some other dude in my house sleeping with a girl when I should be doing that! Either way I deal with it ok and then the next day she mentions she actually thinking about ending it with him because he likes her more than she likes him and she doesn't like that.
Thought: How does a girl sleeping with another man affect her view of you? Moreover if I had got her phone number and set up another meet soon I might not be in this mess? How many times do you need to sleep with a girl to make her yours?
My approach to the 3 weeks was to try and sleep with her again whilst simultaneously deep diving and building a connection.
Connection Building
Fortunately the strongest aspect of my game is deep diving and we struck and incredibly close relationship. I know everything about her, what makes her tick, her deepest darkest fears, her dreams and aspirations etc. I help support her against her fears for which she has many and in return I slowly let her pick away at my past revealing myself in layers as discussed in this site. She was intrigued by me and I know I was her rock as I'm an emotionally stable man and she has none of those in her life.
Physical Escalation
Thanks to this site I adopted the mantra of move faster. On the first day in the house we kissed and talked about getting this other guy out of her life. On the third day (didn't see her on the 2nd) I went for a full on physical escalation. I came back from work incredibly horny and went for a bold "out of know where" physical escalation, slammed her into the wall dragged her too the bed... she was turned on I started kissing her neck... but there was a pause phase where I know I should have taken a step back, but I didn't because this was the first time I was trying anything as bold as this. She closed up and asked if I was going to hate her now. "Not at all I replied" and she was shocked to see it didn't faze me (thanks to this site again!). The rest of the evening the sexual tension was through the roof and I knew she wanted me to try again but I didn't before my housemate came back.
Thoughts: so I know a failed physical escalation is a death sentence if you have never slept with a woman before but I have come back from failed escalations previously with other women I had slept with before so I didn't think it was too bad. What's other peoples experience with this?
On the 4th day we went for a run and deep dived, she opened up and said she didn't know when to settle with men, how do you know if there is one better around the corner? I said I wouldn't hold it against her if she went on dates with other people. We had a closeness on this day and after some pre-drinks she was very touchy feely and she’s usually a girl who against that. We held hands and almost kissed. She also said we haven't sex in 3 weeks and squeezed my leg, something she did when we first slept together. We went out on separate nights but she drunk text me on the night out about how my night was. There was one point in this evening where I acted in disgust when I thought she said something couply. However this was the only time I really disqualified myself as a bf.
Thoughts: Should I have gone on a run with her? I probably shouldn't have held her hand I think I was far too boyfriendy even at this point and our other housemate commented on how much of a couple we were. Moreover this night she was the most primed for sex but I didn't feel there was the opportunity to make it happen as we were going to separate nights - is it this night when I should have physically escalated - before the club?
Next interaction was a few days later where we spent the day together cooking some food and drinking and talking. I portrayed myself as an ambitious man, with life goals and we able to talk in depth and share similarities. She said she was going on a date which I was ok with, but the date cancelled. We had a really nice day and I kissed her good night deciding not to physical escalate this day (don't want to do it too often!). We also talk about her ex-boyfriend and other ex-guys in her life - should I not do this? Is this making me too far into the friend category?
Thursday comes along and we have drinks with one of my friends, the girl keeps banging on about how I've got to visit her when she’s gone. We get back to the flat and at this point I have deep dived so much she feels very comfortable around me and that I understand her well. I have also been revealing myself in layers so she is curious too. She is in my lap in bra and knickers, we get together and I run my hands up and down her body but she will not let me touch private areas. Needless to say despite my efforts I can only get this far, but I feel that sex is something she should be giving me given the closeness of our relationship... it can't really work without sex. I went to bed disgruntled.
Thoughts: I never once questioned why she wouldn't have sex with me, she just mentioned she needs to feel more comfortable... however is there a point after you've slept with someone once that you should be raising the question around sex logically? I know this is very unattractive but if you providing so much value and getting nothing in return are you not allowed to logically raise this question?
I feel after the Thursday above was a turning point, I stopped obeying LLE and I believe she knew I liked her and wasn't a challenge. However the last days were filled with more of the same with failed escalation. One time she slept in my bed (her decision) but said I was too drunk to have sex (I probably was). In bed i told her I'd got her back regarding her insecurities (probably shouldn't have done this!). We were very coupley with a lot of kissing and cuddling but no sex... so I should have known at the time how much of an issue this was but part of me thought it was attributable to her low sex drive. On the last night we were supposed to spend it together and I was going to reveal the last layer of myself, something very personal that she could have learnt from. However she said she ended up staying at friend’s house because it was more logical (she got a lift to the airport). The next day she sent me a very soppy text about how much of an awesome guy I was and that she was glad to have met me. I reciprocated.
Thoughts: I looked through the post on what women need, I did all of the 1-7 things in the post at one point or another: I put her at ease, intrigued her, challenged her (at the begging), made her feel accepted, created anticipation, understood her and seduced her (once). However I was never able to do all these things at the same time and I wasn't a challenge towards the end... Moreover if you look at what women want I was her friend, lover and provider at certain points it’s just the balance slipped from under my control into hers. Why is this? Is it purely failure to follow LLE? Should I have not tried it on with her and just played it chill and let her come to me (seeing as we were living together)? Moreover does living with someone change your chances of hooking up with them?
Final Days
Needless to say we kept in contact, using skype and messaging maybe on average on once or twice a week. I always waited for her to initiate a conversation 70% of the time. I would say my text game is relatively good. She said she missed me, was feeling depressed at one point and played on my emotional support for her to agree to come meet her in her home city. She sent me a cheeky text of her in a bikini and winking saying she can't wait to see me etc...
When I got there I was emasculated and insulted, she had just officially moved me into the friend zone as an orbiter. She had gone back with some other guy on her last day in my city and even though she hadn't slept with him she was texting him all day everyday - he was coming to visit her next week and they had agreed to do some travelling together. She also mentioned he had an on/off girlfriend.
She then spent her time with me talking about some really deep issues in her life and expecting me to deal with them for absolutely no reciprocation... not even talking about my life, whilst she wasn't doing that she spent the rest of her time on her phone to this guy. It was humiliating she even asked me to decipher one of his texts to her because she couldn't work out what it was in English. Now I know she didn't mean to lead me on, on purpose but I feel she completely overstepped the line by doing this. I am in no way bitter towards her but I let her know subtly that I didn't want to be in her life much longer and she would have to find a new rock. Strangely she still wanted to kiss and cuddle me but I didn't try and physical escalation because of the way she treated me... I don't want to invest anymore time in her.
Thoughts: How has some guy who is using ineffective text game (texting all day!) and not slept with her managed to win her over, the only thing he can have done in the very limited time he actually met her face to face (one or two days) was be a challenge and not like her as much due to the fact of this on/off gf. I doubt he fulfilled any of her other needs. I know every girl is different but I feel like I have done 90% of things right and this guy has just done the 10% right that I didn't do and won. Is this just the nature of all women or high value women specifically? They appear to want certain desires more than the ones they actually need the most? As i mention at the top of this post she mentioned she doesn't like it when the guy likes her more, i couldn't help but like her more but I really should have taken heed of this... Whats best for not liking her too quickly? LLE i guess?
Will getting a beautiful g/f get easier with the more beautiful women i sleep with? I certainly hope so! Moreover I really don't want to get a g/f just for the sake of it but I notice men who use women as stepping stones to constantly improve from one woman to the next. I deplore this but it seems to work
. She will inevitably come looking to me for support in the future what would you recommend? It’s hard to break contact 100%...
Sorry for the long post, all comments welcome...
