FR Hottest girl at the strip club

[Zoro]

The other night, I went out with a friend to the strip club.

I love going out with this friend because he is great at gaming working girls and gets along well with the staff - we usually don't pay cover. He's also a great wing, always talking me up to the girls we meet, and just a positive dude.

We were there way later than usual, because we were just having a good time hanging out. My friend also got a few numbers and instagrams from some cocktail waitresses and a stripper.

I eventually notice this cocktail waitress that looks very familiar to me. She's gorgeous and I'm thinking, "Where do I know this girl from?"

Then it hit me, she used to work at my favorite restaurant as a hostess. I had a huge crush on her, but never got around to asking her out because I did not want things to get awkward at my favorite spot and there never seemed a good time to chat much with her. Eventually she disappeared from the restaurant.

So I decide that I will talk to her and see if she recognizes me. At first, I was thinking of just saying, "Hey, didn't you used to work at _____?". But thought that if she doesn't recognize me, it would look a bit better if I played dumb and instead opened her with, "Hey, you look so familiar, do I know you from somewhere?"

She's super busy, barely a moment standing still, so it takes a few minutes before I see her have some downtime. I walk up to her and when she sees me, she has a big smile on her face. I can tell she recognized me immediately. I still begin to say, "Hey, you look familiar..", but she enthusiastically greets me with familiarity.

I tell her she's working hard. She tells me how she worked at that restaurant for so long and she wanted a change of pace. At the club, she makes a lot more money working less hours. She's asks me if I come here often, and I say, "once in awhile." We talk about what section she's currently serving, and she mentions that next time I come in, to ask for her section. I know she is busy so I start to wrap up, to let her not get in trouble. I ask her name and give her mine.

Now the topics were pretty mundane, but the vibe was very good. We both had big smiles on, and the convo was flowing and easy. It felt really good.

So when I get back to my friend, I think to myself, well now I have a chance to ask her out, I gotta do it.

I was thinking about how to approach it, because talking more with her was going to be difficult with her being so busy. I decided to just ask her out and let her know I would have sooner but didn't want to risk things getting awkward at the restaurant.

So a little later, when I see she has a moment of downtime again, I walk up to her. "Hey ____, you know, I always wanted to ask you out." She laughs and says, "I can give you my number." I smile and say, great. I then ask if she has to be discreet about it and she says yeah, they are really strict, she will write it down on a napkin. While she is writing it down, I ask her if work is always this busy for her, but then a manager walks up and tells me I can't be standing there (I was in front of a register). So I tell ____ I'll be sitting down and let her get back to work."

A little later she comes by with her number and slips it to me.

It starts getting late, so my friend and I decide to leave shortly after. As I'm walking out I walk by her and we trade waves and smiles.

I was pretty happy because she is really enjoyable to talk with and gorgeous, not to mention finally getting the number of a girl I was crushing on for long time. We had some natural chemistry, the conversation just flowed. I know the topics were nothing special, but the vibe under it was fun and flirty.

So the next day, because we had such a short convo, I wanted to get her on the phone.

This is where things start to go a bit wrong. I think I have some emotional baggage about texting. I tend to get impatient and stressed out when texting a girl I haven't yet had a first date with. It is not usually an issue, but perhaps because it's been a long time since I got a number from a girl I was VERY excited about, that it clouded my judgement.

Here's the text I sent 11:45am the next day. "Hey ____, nice running into you last night. Can I give you a call? I'd like to invite you somewhere." I didn't love what I sent, but I decided not to over think it (stressed already), and following my gut usually goes well for me.

I was really confident that she would text me shortly after and we'd have a great call, where I'd set up our date.
Instead she left me on read.

After talking with @King on the phone. He gave me what I expected to hear. I should have included my name, and not went for the call right away.

So I don't think it's a lost cause yet. I texted her Saturday morning, it's not Sunday night. I haven't sent anything else yet.

There's a chance she could have been just working her charm as a serving girl, and she just gave me her number as a way to keep me in her orbit.
Also, even though she's totally my type, she is working half-naked at a strip club, so I have to acknowledge potential red flags.

However, I really enjoyed our convo and have had a genuine crush on her for a long time. Would love to get her on a date with me and have fun. I can tell we have natural chemistry, so it's worth trying to troubleshoot this.

Not to mention, I don't want to make the same technical mistakes again with other girls. I have been resistant to mastering texting for too long. I already have plans on addressing the emotional baggage part, got some effective resources for that. Texting should not be as stressful as I'm making it out to be.

So what do you guys recommend my next move be?

 

[Skills]

The other night, I went out with a friend to the strip club.

I love going out with this friend because he is great at gaming working girls and gets along well with the staff - we usually don't pay cover. He's also a great wing, always talking me up to the girls we meet, and just a positive dude.

We were there way later than usual, because we were just having a good time hanging out. My friend also got a few numbers and instagrams from some cocktail waitresses and a stripper.

I eventually notice this cocktail waitress that looks very familiar to me. She's gorgeous and I'm thinking, "Where do I know this girl from?"

Then it hit me, she used to work at my favorite restaurant as a hostess. I had a huge crush on her, but never got around to asking her out because I did not want things to get awkward at my favorite spot and there never seemed a good time to chat much with her. Eventually she disappeared from the restaurant.

So I decide that I will talk to her and see if she recognizes me. At first, I was thinking of just saying, "Hey, didn't you used to work at _____?". But thought that if she doesn't recognize me, it would look a bit better if I played dumb and instead opened her with, "Hey, you look so familiar, do I know you from somewhere?"

She's super busy, barely a moment standing still, so it takes a few minutes before I see her have some downtime. I walk up to her and when she sees me, she has a big smile on her face. I can tell she recognized me immediately. I still begin to say, "Hey, you look familiar..", but she enthusiastically greets me with familiarity.

I tell her she's working hard. She tells me how she worked at that restaurant for so long and she wanted a change of pace. At the club, she makes a lot more money working less hours. She's asks me if I come here often, and I say, "once in awhile." We talk about what section she's currently serving, and she mentions that next time I come in, to ask for her section. I know she is busy so I start to wrap up, to let her not get in trouble. I ask her name and give her mine.

Now the topics were pretty mundane, but the vibe was very good. We both had big smiles on, and the convo was flowing and easy. It felt really good.

So when I get back to my friend, I think to myself, well now I have a chance to ask her out, I gotta do it.

I was thinking about how to approach it, because talking more with her was going to be difficult with her being so busy. I decided to just ask her out and let her know I would have sooner but didn't want to risk things getting awkward at the restaurant.

So a little later, when I see she has a moment of downtime again, I walk up to her. "Hey ____, you know, I always wanted to ask you out." She laughs and says, "I can give you my number." I smile and say, great. I then ask if she has to be discreet about it and she says yeah, they are really strict, she will write it down on a napkin. While she is writing it down, I ask her if work is always this busy for her, but then a manager walks up and tells me I can't be standing there (I was in front of a register). So I tell ____ I'll be sitting down and let her get back to work."

A little later she comes by with her number and slips it to me.

It starts getting late, so my friend and I decide to leave shortly after. As I'm walking out I walk by her and we trade waves and smiles.

I was pretty happy because she is really enjoyable to talk with and gorgeous, not to mention finally getting the number of a girl I was crushing on for long time. We had some natural chemistry, the conversation just flowed. I know the topics were nothing special, but the vibe under it was fun and flirty.

So the next day, because we had such a short convo, I wanted to get her on the phone.

This is where things start to go a bit wrong. I think I have some emotional baggage about texting. I tend to get impatient and stressed out when texting a girl I haven't yet had a first date with. It is not usually an issue, but perhaps because it's been a long time since I got a number from a girl I was VERY excited about, that it clouded my judgement.

Here's the text I sent 11:45am the next day. "Hey ____, nice running into you last night. Can I give you a call? I'd like to invite you somewhere." I didn't love what I sent, but I decided not to over think it (stressed already), and following my gut usually goes well for me.

I was really confident that she would text me shortly after and we'd have a great call, where I'd set up our date.
Instead she left me on read.

After talking with @King on the phone. He gave me what I expected to hear. I should have included my name, and not went for the call right away.

So I don't think it's a lost cause yet. I texted her Saturday morning, it's not Sunday night. I haven't sent anything else yet.

There's a chance she could have been just working her charm as a serving girl, and she just gave me her number as a way to keep me in her orbit.
Also, even though she's totally my type, she is working half-naked at a strip club, so I have to acknowledge potential red flags.

However, I really enjoyed our convo and have had a genuine crush on her for a long time. Would love to get her on a date with me and have fun. I can tell we have natural chemistry, so it's worth trying to troubleshoot this.

Not to mention, I don't want to make the same technical mistakes again with other girls. I have been resistant to mastering texting for too long. I already have plans on addressing the emotional baggage part, got some effective resources for that. Texting should not be as stressful as I'm making it out to be.

So what do you guys recommend my next move be?

That was a very poor text and asking for heavy compliance of the opener... then hard closing on the opener.... really poor texting... your best bet is to go back to venue...

 

[Zoro]

That was a very poor text and asking for heavy compliance of the opener... then hard closing on the opener.... really poor texting... your best bet is to go back to venue...

Thanks for the reply @Skills . I was trying to rush things. I knew I was taking a bit of a risk, but I’ve had success rushing things before. I think those times I probably got lucky.

Game is not luck, at least it shouldn’t rely on it so heavy. I feel pretty foolish, but I’m glad I can ask questions here to learn the lesson.

So it was that bad, huh? Not even worth trying anything else over phone/text?

I don’t plan on going to the venue just to see her, but if I happen to be there again I’ll do things differently. I can sit in her section for a little bit and talk with her more. Anything you recommend besides standard stuff? Should I seed a date in person or cool off?

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I think it's FUBAR (fucked up beyond all repair) man, your investment level in that text is the equivalent to if you had already gone on three dates with her.

I like to think of attachment as kyrptonite when it comes to dating, without it you can take risks, be more confident, act more attractive etc.

I don't think this is something you can just "learn the lesson" from

The emotional baggage over texting will have to be removed for this problem to go away

Because even if you think you've learned your lesson, you may meet an even hotter girl, get too attached, and then make the same mistake.
It's a problem on an emotional level, not a logical level.

I wish I had a definitive answer on how to build healthy attachment styles, I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.
Curious as to what your plans and resources on that are, would you mind sharing?
I might want to implement for myself

Best of luck,
Biggus

 

[Zoro]

I think it's FUBAR (fucked up beyond all repair) man, your investment level in that text is the equivalent to if you had already gone on three dates with her.

Honestly that's how I felt. I have had quick connections with girls in the past where I was able to break so many rules and get together with them. But I think I going to play the game more deliberately from now on. I only rushed to relieve myself of the stress of texting, not because it was the right call.

I like to think of attachment as kyrptonite when it comes to dating, without it you can take risks, be more confident, act more attractive etc.

I don't think this is something you can just "learn the lesson" from

The lesson I'm talking about here is two fold:

1. That I have been stubbornly resistant to improving my text game and it's time to address that.

2. Getting feedback here so I know what exactly went wrong, rather than just diagnosing it myself.

The emotional baggage over texting will have to be removed for this problem to go away

Because even if you think you've learned your lesson, you may meet an even hotter girl, get too attached, and then make the same mistake.
It's a problem on an emotional level, not a logical level.

Fortunately, the baggage is not about the girl. It's literally just the texting. While I'm disappointment I lost her, I care more that I made such a silly mistake. On the other hand, I knew I was taking a bit of a risk and wanted to see if going straight for it would work. I didn't expect it to flop so hard though.

This experience brought something to my attention. I have been dealing with some heavy emotional shit for the past month or so. On top of working a lot on building a business, I had a very intense psychedelic bad trip and have been dealing with some flashbacks randomly.

That bad trip experience was like surviving a battle. I came out stronger, but beat up.

I wish I had a definitive answer on how to build healthy attachment styles, I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.
Curious as to what your plans and resources on that are, would you mind sharing?
I might want to implement for myself

I think experience is key. I have good experiences with dating beautiful women, so I don't think I have too much issue with unhealthy attachment.

On the other hand, I have a ton of experiences of losing girls over text. Goes all the way back to high school.

As for the resource for dealing with the emotional baggage (and the bad trip flashbacks), I'm doing a therapy style called Focusing.

Focusing Therapy – International Association of Focusing-Oriented Therapists

It sounds stupidly simple, and yet it has been powerful for me. Last session felt like I was diving deep into my emotions and letting them finally air out their grievances.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

I decided to just ask her out and let her know I would have sooner but didn't want to risk things getting awkward at the restaurant.

So a little later, when I see she has a moment of downtime again, I walk up to her. "Hey ____, you know, I always wanted to ask you out." She laughs and says, "I can give you my number."

Why would you be apologetic for not asking her out sooner? Do you owe her anything?

Good thing you approached bro .But one thing to note is that make your interactions appear spontaneous...as if you were going about your life then happened to notice her.

From the opener to the close try to make it appear seamlessly spontaneous.Yeah you can have it planned out in your mind but make it appear spontaneous to her .

Girls hate plans ...for instance when you tell her I always wanted to ask you out you make it come across as it was all premeditated.You ain't operating off the meta -frame there too.She is the prize.

Also thinking of an ideal number close...you want to pick the number usually at a high point and make it appear that she is interesting enough that u have to pick her no at that instant tho u may have a series of steps you go through in your mind like "after a while I'll pick her no,all I have to do is engineer or wait for a high note".

Then during the high note u bring it up that u guys should grab a drink or bite sometime which is more casual than "want to ask you out " which often translates to a date to most girls.See,it seems more natural and spontaneous.

When you tell her you've always wanted to ask her out it seems more as if you were angling for a chance to do so which is chasing right off the bat.You can get women chasing at the outset bro

This is where things start to go a bit wrong. I think I have some emotional baggage about texting. I tend to get impatient and stressed out when texting a girl I haven't yet had a first date with. It is not usually an issue, but perhaps because it's been a long time since I got a number from a girl I was VERY excited about, that it clouded my judgement.

Here's the text I sent 11:45am the next day. "Hey ____, nice running into you last night. Can I give you a call? I'd like to invite you somewhere." I didn't love what I sent, but I decided not to over think it (stressed already), and following my gut usually goes well for me.

I was really confident that she would text me shortly after and we'd have a great call, where I'd set up our date.
Instead she left me on read.

Phone nos shouldn't be a big deal.Think of them as merely an opportunity to get her out.Why would you get excited about it despite being into her. It's just a no which she probably gives to other guys too and it isn't a guarantee she'll show up leave alone reply .

Take your time...run through the necessary steps and then ask her out.Getting stressed out and impatient will make you jump the gun most of the time.You'll finally get her should be ur thought process.

Yeah at least you broke the ice but u don't break the ice and add even more pressure lol.It's good to be polite and stuff but at times you should not ask for permission or a guarantee."Can I " doesn't sound like a guy who leads at least to her.Give her a call at the right times of course.

Shouldn't call during the wrong times just to show u r not the kind of guy who asks for permission.

There's a chance she could have been just working her charm as a serving girl, and she just gave me her number as a way to keep me in her orbit.

If you've shown your intentions and come across scarce-y I don't see a reason why she'd do that.If you came across just like another customer,then yeah sure.

However, I really enjoyed our convo and have had a genuine crush on her for a long time

Careful u don't become one-itised and game her differently than u normally would with other girls.

I don’t plan on going to the venue just to see her, but if I happen to be there again I’ll do things differently. I can sit in her section for a little bit and talk with her more

In case u do ,act casual and as if nothing happened.But remember she's still at work and u'll probably be interrupted a lot ...

Fortunately, the baggage is not about the girl. It's literally just the texting. While I'm disappointment I lost her, I care more that I made such a silly mistake. On the other hand, I knew I was taking a bit of a risk and wanted to see if going straight for it would work. I didn't expect it to flop so hard though.

Hey don't go hard on yourself.It's all practice and u should think of it as such.You get better by learning from tiny mistakes.It's how u get the nuance down.Treat the field as a training ground.You are the only one judging you.With time you'll look back and realize how much far how you've come and it was the little mistakes that did count.

If it doesn't work out with her, there's a chick just round the corner u can run ur game on this time properly, having learned the lesson.

Best,
Chad Tyrone.

 

[Skills]

Thanks for the reply @Skills . I was trying to rush things. I knew I was taking a bit of a risk, but I’ve had success rushing things before. I think those times I probably got lucky.

Game is not luck, at least it shouldn’t rely on it so heavy. I feel pretty foolish, but I’m glad I can ask questions here to learn the lesson.

So it was that bad, huh? Not even worth trying anything else over phone/text?

I don’t plan on going to the venue just to see her, but if I happen to be there again I’ll do things differently. I can sit in her section for a little bit and talk with her more. Anything you recommend besides standard stuff? Should I seed a date in person or cool off?

Just for the future new gen z is no big on getting on the phone, it may translate to needines from opener, also asking permission is no leading can i, is weak, then putting pressure on meet is bad causes anxiety on the women....is good to do things right on the go specially with hot higer gun than to work on damage control....how i would have text..

Me: what are the chances we ran into each other after all this time, it was a fun reunion what it lasted before manager came, hope i did not get you in troble...

^ this is a right opener following meet thread just going into a convo... high odds....

If you are not going to see her wait 24 hours and ping... maybe a morning sun emoji or eyes emoji.... but again damage control texting meh.... you need to review my stuff it very frustrating after i put my heart and soul into texting guides seeing horrible shit...

 

[Zoro]

Why would you be apologetic for not asking her out sooner? Do you owe her anything?

Good thing you approached bro .But one thing to note is that make your interactions appear spontaneous...as if you were going about your life then happened to notice her.

From the opener to the close try to make it appear seamlessly spontaneous.Yeah you can have it planned out in your mind but make it appear spontaneous to her .

Girls hate plans ...for instance when you tell her I always wanted to ask you out you make it come across as it was all premeditated.You ain't operating off the meta -frame there too.She is the prize.

Also thinking of an ideal number close...you want to pick the number usually at a high point and make it appear that she is interesting enough that u have to pick her no at that instant tho u may have a series of steps you go through in your mind like "after a while I'll pick her no,all I have to do is engineer or wait for a high note".

Then during the high note u bring it up that u guys should grab a drink or bite sometime which is more casual than "want to ask you out " which often translates to a date to most girls.See,it seems more natural and spontaneous.

When you tell her you've always wanted to ask her out it seems more as if you were angling for a chance to do so which is chasing right off the bat.You can get women chasing at the outset bro

I went with my gut here. She seemed very interested and I was feeling the vibe too. So that led me to jump off the damn cliff lol.

This is all good stuff, but she was way too busy for natural conversation. It was either I make something happen in a few moments or walk away that night kicking myself for not trying.

Take your time...run through the necessary steps and then ask her out.Getting stressed out and impatient will make you jump the gun most of the time.You'll finally get her should be ur thought process.

I have several experiences where I rushed it, and got the girl. I have a ton of experiences where I texted over the course of a week or two, and lost her. Not saying that means rushing it is the way to go, just saying where my head was at, on 3 hours of sleep and feeling confident.

"Can I " doesn't sound like a guy who leads at least to her.

I unfortunately got a woman's advice on the text. And I know better than to get women's advice on game... but like I said, I was feeling confident and wanting to not deal with texting.

Careful u don't become one-itised and game her differently than u normally would with other girls.

The vibe was similar to when I met some ex's of mine. Great chemistry, like we're already sold on each other. I know I made a lot of mistakes here, but I had previous experiences that were similar feeling and things went great.

Hey don't go hard on yourself.It's all practice and u should think of it as such.You get better by learning from tiny mistakes.It's how u get the nuance down.Treat the field as a training ground.You are the only one judging you.With time you'll look back and realize how much far how you've come and it was the little mistakes that did count.

I'm already laughing about the situation.

One of the main takeaways for me here is that I've got complacent with my style of game, and there are a lot of holes in it. I got lucky in the past, so it's allowed for some bad habits to form. And I've also been out of field for a long time, so the rust is there too.

 

[Zoro]

what are the chances we ran into each other after all this time, it was a fun reunion what it lasted before manager came, hope i did not get you in troble...

1000 times better.

If you are not going to see her wait 24 hours and ping... maybe a morning sun emoji or eyes emoji.... but again damage control texting meh....

Right, I'd like to at least try something, nothing to lose. But also, it seems like such a bad situation that it might be better to wait and run into her again.

you need to review my stuff it very frustrating after i put my heart and soul into texting guides seeing horrible shit...

 

[Bismarck]

I think you are assuming this girl was more into you than she was. She was probably just being polite, for tips. Like you said, she works half naked at a strip club, and is hot. This means she is in high demand. A girl like this will have a number of hurdles in place to separate the wheat from the chaff.

It’s like anything in life. Sports, for example. Once you enter the rarified atmosphere of elite athletics, there is less margin for error. The hotter the girl, the less margin for error, everything else being equal, simply because she will have more abundance.

For you to be able to make mistakes and her to ignore them and still be invested and compliant, you have to be hotter than her and higher status, in ways that she can see.

 

[Skills]

I think you are assuming this girl was more into you than she was. She was probably just being polite, for tips. Like you said, she works half naked at a strip club, and is hot. This means she is in high demand. A girl like this will have a number of hurdles in place to separate the wheat from the chaff.

It’s like anything in life. Sports, for example. Once you enter the rarified atmosphere of elite athletics, there is less margin for error. The hotter the girl, the less margin for error, everything else being equal, simply because she will have more abundance.

For you to be able to make mistakes and her to ignore them and still be invested and compliant, you have to be hotter than her and higher status, in ways that she can see.

Well, she actually was she wrote her name and phone number gave to him...in stripclubs this is huge...they are not allowed...

 

[RedNeck]

Well, she actually was she wrote her name and phone number gave to him...in stripclubs this is huge...they are not allowed...

And she walked back to him to hand it over. High investment

 

[RedNeck]

@Wick some more seniors have already commented.
But the whole texting only for logistics is horrible idea. I get it when the player spent so much time with target already. I don’t know who came up with it.

i would text back and fourth , create on moment and then go for the date.
In addition, I am older dude and hate phone calls too .

 

[Zoro]

So I finally ran into this girl again in person, and got a lukewarm agreement to go to the beach.Really I think that she is mildly into me, but not enough to actually meet up with me at the beach.

After the horrible text I sent last time, I am coming here to you guys to see what I can do.I don't expect to be able to turn it around over text, but I want to at least use it at a learning experience to see what a best attempt would be...

Also I at least want to give it a shot, no harm in trying.

Ideally in person I would have done a better job gaming her, but I did my best considering she was busy working and I had 10-20 second interactions with her.

I haven't text her anything yet. Would it be better to just assume the sale, and confirm the details of where we are meeting up, and see how she bites?

Or should I actually chat with her, and see if I can give her some more reason to meet up. She's a Pisces, which is a good match for me. We both like the beach.

Maybe I can do both. When she flakes, just carry on conversation and see if I can learn more about her. This is literally how my hot friend (girl) started dating her boyfriend. They were not sold on each other, and texted once in awhile until something clicked (she read some book, he happened to be reading it too).

 

[RedNeck]

It depends. How long do you have before the date? If it is 3-4 days, I would text at least to keep her warm.
Note: I hate texting only logistics