FR How can I keep women interested during conversation?

[Mister_E]

So yesterday I walked to the local corner store down the street at 11pm. When I walked in I saw this beautiful girl and she looked at me over her shoulder. I decided to use a situational opener

Me: I didn't expect there to be here so many people this late
Her: I know right! Now I got to wait in this line after all these people
Me: Do you stay around here
Her: yeah I just got off work
Me:Oh where do you work?
Her: capital one!
Me: oh so that means your good with money?
Her: No I work for tech support.
Me: I bet you get a lot of crazy customers
Her: (laughs)
Some old guy in front of was talking in front of us. Hitting on her too and talking out loud the whole time, I try to move this convo forward
Me: so what's your name
Her: ???
Me: my name is eric ( I guess I mumbled or she wasn't paying attention)
Her: sorry what was your name?
Me: Eric... (Tried holding my hand out, but got left hanging)

Old guy talking to girl: your gorgeous.. Something something
Me: he's right you know ( I forgot the rest of what I said)
Her: (laughs) I'm sorry I'm listening to you but I'm tuned in to what he (the old guy was saying)

She is now in front of the line and gets a backwood talking to the guy at the register now
As she leaves I say,you know those are bad for you right. (Attempted flirt to draw her back in)
She stops and says, yeah I know it doesn't matter tho
Probably not what she wanted to hear from me and walks out to her car
I leave the store and she her in the car but I kept walking on my way because I felt like I struck out with her.. This was my first cold approach in a while and I felt like my night could have ended way differently. This isn't the first time where a girl just walked away mid conversation how can I fit everything I'm trying to get across in such a short time span? And how can I keep them interested?

 

[Mr.Rob]

Re: How can I keep women interested during conversation?

Hello Mister_E,

I see a few things you can improve on here.

1. I don't think you struck out with her, you didn't strike at all really. It was basic small talk that you failed to get past (though external environment factors attributed a bit... social pressure from standing in line, her attention being taken up between cashier and other old guy). You never really had any conversation that would have taken you out of "normal" stranger category and put you in "interesting man" category.

2. No investment on her part, as she was just pingning off the emotional validation being offered to her by everyone in line. By investment I mean her contributing more to yall's conversation and not just answering your questions and making polite chit chat.

3.

Old guy talking to girl: your gorgeous.. Something something
Me: he's right you know ( I forgot the rest of what I said)

I think this is a lame response (and one I've made plenty of times in the past out of not knowing what to say). Your agreeing with what someone else said about her looks (weak) rather than setting your own frame. She gets told she's beautiful all the time of course she knows, which is almost supplication in a way. I know you were probably just trying to display interest in her but it seemed weak to me.

Honestly I don't have a lot of reference point of talking to women in line but I know you basically just want to "ping" her without displaying a ton of interest (unless you just don't give a shit and are seeing how far you can push things) and gauge her reaction to see if she seems interested or not. If so then push things a bit further and so on. Obviously you can do whatever you want and there's not like "one" way to talk to girls in line.

Keep meeting more women and taking action that's all the matters.

-Rob

 

[Mister_E]

Re: How can I keep women interested during conversation?

Thank you Mr.Rob I will work on improving everything that you suggested I work on. I really appreciate your advice on this matter