How comfortable are you socializing with women and not "hitting on them"

[Fuck This]

When I read many of the inquiries on this Forum, I get the impression that many of the men on here are not comfortable simply conversing with women, or go overboard and flirt with every piece of ass that comes their way. It makes me think they have not had to socialize in a professional setting where there are women who are potential or current clients.

I really think if men want to get over approach anxiety, that they need to get comfortable simply socializing with women with no ulterior motive. For me that has been 20 years of a career with face to face contact with 40-50 women every day from high school age up to grandmas. Pretty soon you find women relaxing around you and your words come easier. Pretty soon when that hot 20 year old comes in you don't get nervous and stuttery. Pretty soon that silver haired lady says something like "My, you are charming..." Pretty soon you feel comfortable looking women in the eye. Pretty soon you realize they are just women. Women let their guard down around you. All of a sudden you find women taking the initiative to talk to YOU.

So many of the threads I read have the writer jumping on the "are you single?" , "can I get your number?", "wanna grab a coffee?" before they have even developed a rapport. Now granted there are times there is an instant connection, and I have had quite a few of those...but in most cases, I've had women giving green lights to numbers and dates before I've asked.

SMILE
Make eye contact
Have confident but open body language.
Engage people and make them feel valued.

 

[LoneWolf14]

I think you're referring to my Tinder date thread. You want to go for a date ASAP over there since you already know you like each other due to the matching system and trying to text each other will soon become boring and the more texts you send, the less likely a date becomes. Tinder is cold approaching on easy mode since you basically only get women who have some sort of interest in you. I still think that you have to respect the rules of cold approaching and build that rapport in person.

You don't wanna text over the Tinder app since nobody really is active on it. You spend most time there swiping, not texting and once you manage to get a phone number / insta account / facebook account I think you want to go ahead and set up a date, not spend more time texting.

 

[Fuck This]

I think you're referring to my Tinder date thread.

No I'm talking about in-person cold approaches...Tinder is Green light "talk me into fucking you " territory...

 

[LoneWolf14]

My bad then, your OP seemed to be referring to my Tinder thread.

Regarding what you said though, flirting with every woman is part of PUA culture after all, right? Otherwise you'd be going into 'nice guy' territory if you'd only be doing it with the hot ones.

Plus it's extremely effective in a professional environment as well. Had a negotiation the other week. I'm 21 and the counterpart was a 25 year old female, one of the hottest I've ever seen, might I add. She was sticking to her company's conditions and I was asking her to make an exception for me, in a neutral way. She kept saying know. We sat at the same table facing each other. I moved in a little closer and stared her in the eyes and asked her again with a James Bond smirk 'are you sure you can't make an exception?' She got pretty nervous, got a bit flirty herself and went all the way from ' No, my boss wouldn't be ok with that' to 'I'll talk to the boss and try to have it your way'.

She wasn't good at what she was doing but I'm sure they had her in that position to intimidate men with her looks. It's human nature after all. If what works in sales also works in dating, why wouldn't it be the other way around as well?

 

[Richard]

Ya know,

This is one of those posts or one of those things that I hear and immediately sit back and think "Well, duh... isn't this common sense?" but I guess it's not.

 

[Fuck This]

Ya know,

This is one of those posts or one of those things that I hear and immediately sit back and think "Well, duh... isn't this common sense?" but I guess it's not.

I really think Social Skills is the first part of Fundamentals that people need to master. Not Looks, Not Wardrobe, not Fitness.

I'm alarmed at the lack of social skills from the up and coming generation (under 25) . Actual FEAR of conversing with people in person or on the phone....


Oh and What does Ben Franklin have to do with it? Thanks for the awesome Segue Richard....