LR-- How could I have avoided this LMR?

[Winston]

This story is with a girl that I know from my social circle since 4 or 5 years. She has already dated, for several months, 2 guys that I know (one close friend, the other not so close).

We tend to see each other once every 2 months for some social events. The 2 last times we saw each other, she asked me question abouts my romantic life and told me about hers (she dates on Tinder...), which was unusual because before we tended to talk about less interesting and more superficial subjects. So I started to think that maybe something could happen with her.

Yesterday I saw her our regular social event that takes place in a bar. Around midnight we end up sitting next to each other, talking again about our romantic life. We even talk about sex during maybe 20 minutes. At 2am we where the last one in the bar and it closed, so we went outside and she happens to live really nearby the bar. Before her door, she asked me if I want to drink something, I said why not.

At her place we drink more glasses, and after maybe 30 minutes I start to kiss her and touching her. She was receptive but stopped me at some point. She went to her room and come back with a new outfit, some kind of pantyhouse with a thong (she has a really nice ass and she knows it).

She was dancing, shaking her beautiful ass, after staring at her a few minutes, I got up and went behind her, grinding behind her ass dancing, touching her again. Again at some point she stopped.

At another moment she was playing guitar and singing. Again I kissed and touched her. Again receptive but stopping it at some point. Every time I played it cool, like nothing happened, talking about whatever uncorrelated subject. But after each round of kissing/touching I was a little more undressed.

After maybe the 4 round of kissing and touching and again her stopping it, I said "ok maybe we should just go to sleep". She started to unfold the sofa for me to sleep in. I touched her hips and told her that I was thinking we were both going to sleep in her bed. She lay down herself on the sofa, on her stomach, with her ass facing me. I undressed totally, droppy her pantyhose so her ass is bare too. And I lay down on her kissing her from behind, and my dick was getting hard rubbing against her naked butt. She was clearly very receptive when I played with the cheeks of her ass with my hands (her face was deformed as in ecstasy). I start to finger her, one finger in her vagina and one finger in her butt at the same time.

She was moaning, but after a few minutes she stopped again the whole thing and go to her chamber without telling anything.

I was thinking that it was again the same game she was playing since the beginning, and that I just needed to act in a detached manner. So as usual I didn't make a big deal of that, I went to take a pee in the bathroom and a few minutes later I try to open the door of her room... but i was closed.

I went back to the sofa, thinking about the situation (I was heavily drunk). Then 5 minutes later I come back at the door of her bedroom telling "come on, it's not going to end like this, don't make me believe you are already asleep". No answer, so I went back to the sofa to sleep there for a few hours. I leaved before she wake up.

To give an idea of the timeline, between the first kiss and the fingering, there was about 1h30.

1. So what the fuck happenned? Why did she stop it when I was fingering her ass and her pussy, and went locked herself in her room?
2. And regarding communication, it was yesterday and we haven't yet exchange any messages. Should I not tell anything and act like nothing happenned next time I see her? or send something talking about what happenned?

 

[Beck Bass]

Hard to say why she acted this way, but if a girl is alone, shaking her ass for you, I think you have to be more aggressive than that... At least this is what I feel (though I get that you were drunk, and maybe there are some details I don't know).

I don't like fingering girls until they are already naked and we are pretty much having sex, I think smacking her ass and dominating her physically (like grabbing her hair) and verbally (ordering her around) until she's pretty much begging to be fucked is probably best... I mean, sometimes it's hard to know if you're stimulating a girl well with your fingers, and, at the same time, it's a very intimate touch, so if doesn't go so well (like she gets bored or feels too dirty), the backlash can be pretty big as well, and you didn't had sex, so I think it's a bit of an unnecessary risk.

 

[Winston]

Hard to say why she acted this way, but if a girl is alone, shaking her ass for you, I think you have to be more aggressive than that... At least this is what I feel (though I get that you were drunk, and maybe there are some details I don't know).

I don't like fingering girls until they are already naked and we are pretty much having sex, I think smacking her ass and dominating her physically (like grabbing her hair) and verbally (ordering her around) until she's pretty much begging to be fucked is probably best... I mean, sometimes it's hard to know if you're stimulating a girl well with your fingers, and, at the same time, it's a very intimate touch, so if doesn't go so well (like she gets bored or feels too dirty), the backlash can be pretty big as well, and you didn't had sex, so I think it's a bit of an unnecessary risk.

Thanks for the answer.

I talked about this situation with an experienced friend, and he told me the problem was probably with the fingering as well.

I had my dick hard, rubbing against her butt, and what I wanted was just to put it inside her. But I revert to fingering to sort of be "polite" and because it is something that I tend to do systematically as part of foreplay.
But now I get that this is bad to follow some kind of autistic protocol ("I need to finger the girl before putting my dick in her, because this is the protocol").

Also what I wanted deep down, was to put my dick straight into her ass.
But I was debating inside me if it wouldn't be too "rude" or "not polite" to not go into the vagina before the ass. So I took a kind of middle road by fingering her ass instead. The girl probably felt my hesitation/lack of dominance and that was game over for me.