Making friends could be little bit tricky as you sort of have to be a Nice Guy. There is a good book from Dale Carnegie, 'How to win friends and influence people'. It's a classic, I would start from there. At the same time, I wouldn't go crazy because there is lots of outdated stuff for today's world, but in general it is a pretty good book to read.
Some high yield points that you should follow if you want to make friends, not in particular order:
* Read book "emotional intelligence". The book has lots of useful information, it teaches you how to emphatize, sort of "vibe" with other people... Very important...
* Avoid criticism and negativity. Nobody wants to be around negative people. Be positive, smile (naturally), see if you can spread around more positive vibes... Don't talk bad about other people, don't gossip. Chose some positive things on each person that you discuss. If you can't think about any, simply avoid talking about him or her at all. At the same time avoid being "happy puppy". You want to be more serious yet happy person, somebody who knows what he likes in his life and goes for it with no regrets...
* Open up, share. Tell something about your life, share. If you notice, lots of likable people are sharing many things from their personal life. Learn from them.
* Let others talk about themselves. Be interested in other people, but do it without shooting one question after another. Lots of people are selfish, all they want to do is to talk about themselves. Their problems, their hobbies, their struggles, their wins, whatever. It is good to let other people talk about gun ir her. Don't just do it mechanically, try to understand, try to emphatize with them, try to see the world the way they see it. Remember something that is important to them, then come back to it and talk about it (deep dive) in the future - simply discuss it in more details...
* Find things common with the other guy in different areas. For example, if you are actively lifting weights and eat healthy, and all the other does is watch football and talk nonsense while drinking beer, well, it may not be the best match. After a while you won't have much to say to each other. On the other hand, if the guy also lifts weighs and have other similar hobbies like you, there could be a good long term friendship without much effort...
* Avoid being perfect. Attempts for perfections spread too much anxiety around. Relax. Then relax, and relax more. Don't judge people. Screw up things. Let others screw up, just shrug your shoulders... Be concern, be careful, but at the same time don't care much...
* Give respect. Nobody wants to be looked down. Don't ridicule the other person. Don't try to be smarter than the other person. People want to feel important. Don't try to be better than the other guy. On the other hand, don't put him or her on a pedestal either. You are simply equal...
* Do something for other person or people without trying to please them, and without expecting things back. Some people try to "buy" others by doing things for them, and then they expect the same favor back. Avoid it. Just give - "Hey guys, let's go for a beer (or coffee), I'm buying today". Socially tuned people will return the favor without you asking for it...
* Call people by first name, it is more personal. People like to be called by their first name. There is a difference between:
- Hey, do you want to watch tv?
- Joe, do you want to watch tv?
* Don't put yourself down in front of your friends (or other people). Nobody wants to be around Debbie Downer. People like to hang around winners. Be a winner, learn Winner Attitude without becomming overly fanatical about it. Also, don't be a clown, don't make a fool out of yourself - no need to show strenght, but at the same time you don't want to be perceived as weak...
* Keep your cool. Don't chase girls, and don't chase friends either...
* Learn to be happy on your own, without friends, without girls. Once you know how to be happy it is much easier to attract other different people... You are simply giving out energy, you are not sucking it out of other people...
* Try to be authentic. Develop your own opinions, your own view at this world. Think about things logically, then make conclusions, then discuss your conclusions with others. You might be wrong initially but who cares? Learn from others, correct your logic. That is the only way to develop your own mind...
* Here and there, try to take leadership position within your group. Offer to do interesting things, don't just follow what other people suggest. At the same time, avoid trying to be a leader of that group - unless you are well socially tuned you won't be perceived as a good leader
* Try to motivate other people by giving personal example, don't lead "from behind", that is for pussies
- Lifting weights? Good, try to become the best within the guys. Work out hard, work out honestly, work little bit harder than other people in your group. That's how you build respect
- Studying? Good, study hard and honestly, do extra work. Set an example and don't worry when the other guys are slacking...
- Learning martial arts? Good, keep going. Try to fight like a man, fight even if you know you will lose. Who cares? The figthing itself is much more important than winning or losing...
... You may not become the best lifter, best student or best fighter - but that is not important. The important thing is that you are trying, that you are persisting, working hard and developing passion for something in your life. The important thing is that you love doing something, and you go for it no matter what...
* Don't lie, not to your friends. If you screwed up, you screwed up. If you didn't sleep with that girl, well, you didn't sleep with her. Most people don't like bullshitters, but they will appreciate straight shooter...
* Don't make just guy frinds, make also girl friends. Did she reject you? Ok, no need to get upset about it, no need for drama. Move her to your friend zone. Buy her a coffee or lunch, and ask her what's the best way to get her friend to the bed...
* Try to be friendly with more people, at the same time, don't put too much value on most friendships. Many people you meet are simply just people, they have their own life, their own hobbies, interests... Some will be more distant no matter what you do, others will get closer to you even if you won't like them much... Either way, the more people you meet and talk to, the easier it will eventually be for you to make friends. Think Abundance Mentality with friends as well. You may find some groups of people totally non-compatible with you, no matter what you do you will simply not fit it. On the other hand, there is lots of groups that you could be quite popular in, so simply keep trying...
... Good enough, and good luck
Some high yield points that you should follow if you want to make friends, not in particular order:
* Read book "emotional intelligence". The book has lots of useful information, it teaches you how to emphatize, sort of "vibe" with other people... Very important...
* Avoid criticism and negativity. Nobody wants to be around negative people. Be positive, smile (naturally), see if you can spread around more positive vibes... Don't talk bad about other people, don't gossip. Chose some positive things on each person that you discuss. If you can't think about any, simply avoid talking about him or her at all. At the same time avoid being "happy puppy". You want to be more serious yet happy person, somebody who knows what he likes in his life and goes for it with no regrets...
* Open up, share. Tell something about your life, share. If you notice, lots of likable people are sharing many things from their personal life. Learn from them.
* Let others talk about themselves. Be interested in other people, but do it without shooting one question after another. Lots of people are selfish, all they want to do is to talk about themselves. Their problems, their hobbies, their struggles, their wins, whatever. It is good to let other people talk about gun ir her. Don't just do it mechanically, try to understand, try to emphatize with them, try to see the world the way they see it. Remember something that is important to them, then come back to it and talk about it (deep dive) in the future - simply discuss it in more details...
* Find things common with the other guy in different areas. For example, if you are actively lifting weights and eat healthy, and all the other does is watch football and talk nonsense while drinking beer, well, it may not be the best match. After a while you won't have much to say to each other. On the other hand, if the guy also lifts weighs and have other similar hobbies like you, there could be a good long term friendship without much effort...
* Avoid being perfect. Attempts for perfections spread too much anxiety around. Relax. Then relax, and relax more. Don't judge people. Screw up things. Let others screw up, just shrug your shoulders... Be concern, be careful, but at the same time don't care much...
* Give respect. Nobody wants to be looked down. Don't ridicule the other person. Don't try to be smarter than the other person. People want to feel important. Don't try to be better than the other guy. On the other hand, don't put him or her on a pedestal either. You are simply equal...
* Do something for other person or people without trying to please them, and without expecting things back. Some people try to "buy" others by doing things for them, and then they expect the same favor back. Avoid it. Just give - "Hey guys, let's go for a beer (or coffee), I'm buying today". Socially tuned people will return the favor without you asking for it...
* Call people by first name, it is more personal. People like to be called by their first name. There is a difference between:
- Hey, do you want to watch tv?
- Joe, do you want to watch tv?
* Don't put yourself down in front of your friends (or other people). Nobody wants to be around Debbie Downer. People like to hang around winners. Be a winner, learn Winner Attitude without becomming overly fanatical about it. Also, don't be a clown, don't make a fool out of yourself - no need to show strenght, but at the same time you don't want to be perceived as weak...
* Keep your cool. Don't chase girls, and don't chase friends either...
* Learn to be happy on your own, without friends, without girls. Once you know how to be happy it is much easier to attract other different people... You are simply giving out energy, you are not sucking it out of other people...
* Try to be authentic. Develop your own opinions, your own view at this world. Think about things logically, then make conclusions, then discuss your conclusions with others. You might be wrong initially but who cares? Learn from others, correct your logic. That is the only way to develop your own mind...
* Here and there, try to take leadership position within your group. Offer to do interesting things, don't just follow what other people suggest. At the same time, avoid trying to be a leader of that group - unless you are well socially tuned you won't be perceived as a good leader
* Try to motivate other people by giving personal example, don't lead "from behind", that is for pussies
- Lifting weights? Good, try to become the best within the guys. Work out hard, work out honestly, work little bit harder than other people in your group. That's how you build respect
- Studying? Good, study hard and honestly, do extra work. Set an example and don't worry when the other guys are slacking...
- Learning martial arts? Good, keep going. Try to fight like a man, fight even if you know you will lose. Who cares? The figthing itself is much more important than winning or losing...
... You may not become the best lifter, best student or best fighter - but that is not important. The important thing is that you are trying, that you are persisting, working hard and developing passion for something in your life. The important thing is that you love doing something, and you go for it no matter what...
* Don't lie, not to your friends. If you screwed up, you screwed up. If you didn't sleep with that girl, well, you didn't sleep with her. Most people don't like bullshitters, but they will appreciate straight shooter...
* Don't make just guy frinds, make also girl friends. Did she reject you? Ok, no need to get upset about it, no need for drama. Move her to your friend zone. Buy her a coffee or lunch, and ask her what's the best way to get her friend to the bed...
* Try to be friendly with more people, at the same time, don't put too much value on most friendships. Many people you meet are simply just people, they have their own life, their own hobbies, interests... Some will be more distant no matter what you do, others will get closer to you even if you won't like them much... Either way, the more people you meet and talk to, the easier it will eventually be for you to make friends. Think Abundance Mentality with friends as well. You may find some groups of people totally non-compatible with you, no matter what you do you will simply not fit it. On the other hand, there is lots of groups that you could be quite popular in, so simply keep trying...
... Good enough, and good luck
