how do i deal with girls that push-pull?

[Scofield]

met these 2 girls a week ago at a bar, let's call them elena and cady. both really beautiful, elena is brunette and is just my type. cady is blonde and just my type as far as blondes go. i talked to elena first at the bar. after they got their drink they left. later in the night i found them, and started talking to them again. cady was positioned closer to me so i talked to her a bit more. i didn't linger so i made sure to circulate and talk to others, coming back to them sometimes. at the end of the night, after it felt like both girls had started freezing me out, i happened to leave at the same time as them. once we got out cady taps me on the shoulder to say bye. i talk to her some more before asking her to meet up again and she turns me down. i go to hug elena bye, she's smoking a cig (kind of a turnoff...) and when i'm done she says "that was the most awkward hug ever" since i was careful not to get burnt by the cig. i turn back around to face her and just absolutely grab her, picking her up and twirling her a bit. i put her down and say "is that better?" and then we talk for a minute or 2 with intense eye contact while i play with her hair. i would have kissed her right then and there but her friends were right there so i didn't think it was a good idea.

so since then...i have run into these girls FOUR more times in the same week (i have no idea how that happens, never seen these girls before then, now they're everywhere). now....these girls are ridic at push-pull. they'd make "you again..." faces when they see me, then give me intense hugs. then they'd make fun of me for only drinking water, then ask me to take pictures with them and so on.

last night i ran into them again, started deep diving elena but made the mistake of trying to include cady in the convo until they pushed me out of it. cady definitely isn't into me, i tried talking to her solo and she told me to flat out go away (she had a lot to drink and seemed like she just wanted to dance...but not with me). so from now on, i'm def just going for elena, she's more my type besides the smoking anyways. she's also a bit nicer to me, despite still doing push-pull on me (pretending like i'm not there one second then begging me to dance the next...).

how do i deal with these girls?

 

[Flames]

Next time there in the same place as you don't go upto them, let them come to you and if they don't move on. Be aware these girls will be trouble, they sound a lot like two girls I knew way back and they were absolutely nuts, but at the same time a lot of fun, not neccerserily the right type of fun....

Treat it as a game I'm sure that's all they see it as..

 

[Scofield]

Ran into her again tonight, this is what happened

tonight i said to myself i will finally put an end to the push-pull.

here was my plan:

1. ignore her a bit, then i'd grab her and spin her

2. pull her into me

3. make fun of her for her silly name

4. tell her that smoking is bad for her and guys don't like smokers

5. buy a drink, continue flirting

6. move her outside to smoke then kiss her

instead this is what happened:

1. saw her, ignored her for a bit, grabbed her to spin her, she stopped me

2. she screamed, jokingly called for her friend to help save her

3. put her arm around me instead, talked to me for a min then walked away despite my protests

4. later she asked me to buy her a drink and i refused saying she didnt earn it by letting me spin her. she spins herself, i shake my head and she makes a sad face then walks away

5. she's talking to a guy she just met and is grinding on, sees me, grabs me and pulls me in to her. i think she's trying to reopen me so i go with it but after a minute she ignores me to talk to the guy again....she was just using me to make it seem like she knew a lot of people

6. later in the night, disgusted at myself for letting myself be push-pulled like that, i run into her on my way out, she shouts my name with excitement, pokes me in the chest and walks away

sigh, i hate myself....

 

[Flames]

1) stop hating yourself

2) Be out-come independent. I met of club girls like this over the years and one thing I learnt is that they're nuts, don't even try to out-game them. Just do what you want to do without them, if they want you (and sometimes they do) they need to come to you, they need to make it happen.

Dont wait for their reactions.
Don't even care that they're there.
Do make efforts to pull other girls, be aware they may attempt to cock block you.