How do I react to this girl's playing-hard-to-get-games?

[Xpander]

I can only speculate as to why she is acting this way. 5 days and no answer to my email, or the follow-up text I sent a few days ago. The last time I heard from her she told me how great my country is and everything seemed well. We also met during her visit to my country and although she seemingly played a little hard to get she at least showed interest as well. And she has told me she is thinking about coming to visit me.

I think the games started for real after I visited her in her country. Some error with the network made it seem like I didn’t answer her messages, and after this she told me she actually thought I didn’t want to communicate with her anymore. I explained to her what had happened, but she still didn’t trust this as she asked me about this later. After this incident she was harder to reach by mails/text, but when she responded she always gave some explanation (valid or not), and was always warm.

Am I too aloof for her liking? I don’t text everyday usually, only every other day maybe, and usually I wait for the answer before I text again. She has given some signs that I am too aloof, as mentioned above she thought I didn’t want to talk to her when I had not answered her text for one day. She has also hinted that girls like to be treated with romance. Also the last girl I dated complained about me being too aloof, but at least it worked with her.
My aim is obviously to get her to my country, and I think she is interested, but playing very hard to get. And how do I act now, because I am very confused! Should I just keep on sending her messages, wait till she responds, talk about what’s wrong, play hard to get back, or something else?
My intention was never to play hard to get with her, but as she is an beautiful but inexperienced girl, and maybe wary of being rejected by me, I have to be more sensitive..?? Should I text her every day?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Xpander,

I think the games started for real after I visited her in her country. Some error with the network made it seem like I didn’t answer her messages, and after this she told me she actually thought I didn’t want to communicate with her anymore. I explained to her what had happened, but she still didn’t trust this as she asked me about this later. After this incident she was harder to reach by mails/text, but when she responded she always gave some explanation (valid or not), and was always warm.

Reminds me of a narcisstic girl. Anyway, you explaining to her that you could not reach her by "logic" puts her interest to bed.

Original message (example text)

Her : I thought you didn't want to communicate with me anymore.
You : I tried to get into the network, My phone was down, and the service provider wasn't contactable. "Logic"

She start playing games.

Try this next time

Her : I thought you didn't want to communicate with me anymore.
You : So, have you been thinking about me lately?

Here, she can do two things. She can play the long game and you know she just playing around, or she can say "Yea.. " and then you can set up dates from there.

She just stringing you around now.

Zac

 

[Xpander]

Hey!

Thanks for your reply. Why do you think narcissistic girl? She is beautiful (and knows it), but when we are together she is very caring (opposite of selfish princess). She is Ukraininan by the way. She is more like a traditional, inexperienced, shy and book-worm kind of girl.

Why was the logic explanation wrong? I think Chase had some super post about logic & women, but I don't remember. So she started to play hard-to-get because she didn't trust my explanation? (because she later said that it still wasn't clear why I had not responded to those messages).

And how can I make her stop playing hard-to-get?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Why do you think narcissistic girl? She is beautiful (and knows it), but when we are together she is very caring (opposite of selfish princess). She is Ukraininan by the way. She is more like a traditional, inexperienced, shy and book-worm kind of girl.

I don't mean she is narcisstic. IT reminds me of a girl who is narcisstic, and in that situation, i explain to her, kind of like in the same situation like you, and i suddenly found myself chasing her instead.

Traditional, Inexperienced girl might sometimes do weird games, that it is really hard to figure out, really. I basically went out with a girl last week, She nearly went "ninja defense mode" when i try to bring her in for a kiss. I needed to bring her around and deep dive more.

I need more data points on handling superbly inexperienced women. lolx!

Why was the logic explanation wrong? I think Chase had some super post about logic & women, but I don't remember. So she started to play hard-to-get because she didn't trust my explanation? (because she later said that it still wasn't clear why I had not responded to those messages).

I am not sure whether this is legitimate or she just stringing you along. Anyway you saying she's an inexperienced girl tells me that she doesn't know what she's doing. YOu cannot stop her from playing hard to get, because if you ask her directly, it seems sour, off.

Zac

 

[Xpander]

I am not sure whether this is legitimate or she just stringing you along. Anyway you saying she's an inexperienced girl tells me that she doesn't know what she's doing. YOu cannot stop her from playing hard to get, because if you ask her directly, it seems sour, off.
Zac

Thanks! I was thinking about telling her that I know she's just playing, in a light teasing way or something..

 

[NarrowJ]

Xpander,

Why was the logic explanation wrong? I think Chase had some super post about logic & women, but I don't remember. So she started to play hard-to-get because she didn't trust my explanation? (because she later said that it still wasn't clear why I had not responded to those messages).

It wasn't that she didn't trust your explanation, it was just the fact that you offered one to begin with. Don't explain yourself to a woman over something so trivial. Explanations and things like that can be good if you've done something that obviously effected her emotionally (which, in that case, you do want to address the situation directly, and you'll warm her back up).

I would say this girl is not of the latter, and it was just a shit-test to see if you would start scrambling to make it right (which you then did).

Zac's response of "Yeah, you been thinking about me lately? " would have been perfect.



NJ

 

[Richard]

Agreed with J above on his point. With women it is best to avoid explaining yourself unless like J said, some emotional toll has been taken.

This girl being that she's inexperienced here is really the problem. Women, as Chase and many others have spoken about, have reputations, status, and plethora of other things to uphold. Inexperienced women don't know how to properly handle a man, and will play games or give shit tests without really knowing it. At this stage, its more of her unconscious mind, while experienced women will play conscious games.

The best thing to do with women like this is ease them into things, moving fast is always your goal, but with girls like this move with caution too and expect some delays along the way.

 

[Xpander]

NJ, I agree with what you say, it was probably not a biggie, but actually there were 6 messages I had not responded to over the course of my visit to her country, and I didn't even know x) Only two of them were messages that required a response though.

Zphix, I'm a little back to where I started. What do I do now? Just wait until she responds?