How do I win back a girl that is losing interest?

[kota748]

I dated this girl for 8 months. We were separated for 2 months, and when I came back she acts distant, says she needs to find herself and that she isn't ready for a relationship. She still kisses me and tells me she loves me, but doesn't act like a lover. Am I being used or does she really just need to take some time to figure out who she is? She has been going through a really hard time this past month, not to go into details. Do I need to give her some time? Should I talk to her about us? What should I say? The problem is that I don't want her to think I am needy. I had a friend who talked to her, and she said that she misses me and wishes I would contact her more often, and a little while later in their conversation she says that she doesn't want to talk to me because she thinks I just want a relationship. Is it just me, or does that not make any sense? Sorry, I needed to vent a little, I don't really have anyone to talk to.

What should my course of action be?

Thank you for your time

 

[Richard]

From what it sounds like, she does need time to herself, but also wants you there in her corner to talk to her and support her (not as a boyfriend), but as a person (which may lead her to become your girlfriend again). Show her that you care for her as something other than a potential girlfriend, so, leave the boyfriend/girlfriend talk to her, if she wants you as a boyfriend again in her life, she'll be the one to bring it up.

I don't know the details as to why you separated, so, I can only give advice based on your post. The details of the break-up or separation may affect the future for you two.

For now though, I would contact her as person, not as a potential girlfriend. Back track a few steps, and gradually work your way into a connection again. Now is an important time to not be too rash, not too critical. I recommend advancing with caution, but advancing nonetheless.

-Richard

 

[Whizzy]

Try not to expect anything as the previous poster has said in essence. If she does not want you as boyfriend material no reason to not go out and meet new people right?

 

[kota748]

That makes a lot of sense. I guess the ball is in her court right now, the only thing I can do is not think or obsess over her too much. What are some things you guys do to take that i guess "neediness" and start making someone chase you?

 

[Richard]

Kota,

Neediness and clinginess both go away naturally as you get an abundance mentality. The method that worked best for me was internalizing abundance because I didn't and still don't have a numerous amount of women around simply because my town is small, so, I had to internalize an abundance mentality.

As far as getting women to chase you, you simply don't chase them. I use a lot of framing to get women thinking about something with me, whether it be sex with me, or her with me, its what frames are for Women also chase you when you don't give in to them, if you don't comply with them, and they're interested, they almost have no choice except to pursue you.

-Richard