How do you deal with uncompliant women?

[Mr.Rob]

This girl that I'm talking to is very resistant to comply.

It seems like she does it on purpose to rebel and simply be uncompliant for the sake of being a challenge and a free spirit.

I find it highly attractive and it's quite insightful as far as how a woman feels when men are a challenge and can't get them to do what they want... it's a bit irritating!

My question is how do I act or what do I do when a girl is purposely not complying but does it in a playful almost flirtatious way?

How do I act when a girl is purposely not complying but in a not so playful way?

My gut feeling says that it's to be treated just like any other resistance, meaning "it's not a no! break through my resistance and I'm all yours" type of deal.

As far as treating this do I simply back up a step and re-escalate the same compliance until she breaks or give her a taste of her own medicine (though this way seems weak to me since I'm playing her game)?

Could it be that the fact she's being so purposely uncompliant is because I haven't gotten her to submit hard enough yet and that she doesn't deem me as someone she'd want to submit to? Meaning I need to up my dominance up and move on?

Thanks for reading look forward to anyone's input!

-Rob

 

[Franco]

Rob,

It really depends on how uncompliant she's being. For example, if you only ask her once in person if she'd like to move with you, she declines, and you don't persist, then you probably need to be more persistent in your actions. If she's being playful and flirtatious, then you need to be playful and flirtatious back as well (while being persistent). However, if you've already got the number and you've asked her out two to three times over text and she playfully declines, then you need to do the exact opposite: stop initiating text-sending to her.

Remember, persistence is the most effective in person when trying to get a girl to follow your lead, but if you're hounding her over text messages to do things with you, then you're actually chasing her.

- Franco

 

[Mr.Rob]

Cool response Franco!

Do you, or anyone else reading this, know what the root cause of her doing this is?

For instance when she purposely is uncompliant to me it seems like she is testing for strength "is this guy really as dominant as he says/portrays himself to be?" or is she just resisting for the sake of being a rebel or some other reason I can't figure?

I think it's the former because women aren't evil creatures aiming to lead guys on and play them, she's agreed to go on a date for a reason.

How do I handle it when I persist and all charms/persisting fails (hopefully it won't but what if)?

Case in point: "let me see your hand" said in a warm questionlike yet commanding way to disarm.
Her: "Maybe I don't want to hold your hand" said with playful interested look
Me: "Intuition tells me different. Seriously I just want a closer look at your pimped out nail job let me see."
Her: "No!"
Me: "your embarrassed because your hands are sweaty, I see. No need to fear Miss X this is a judgement free zone, soo let me see your hand"
Her: shakes head purposely and stubbornly
Me: "you probably have cold hands anyway.. So tell me about when you went to xyz"

at this point its like a power struggle between both parties and that's not cool. It would appear her attraction for me would be tanked since I wasn't dominant enough.

Also if I were to keep persisting it would seem like chasing and it kind of falls under the headings of her recoiling in defensiveness.

I guess it would be a correct assumption that the amount of compliance I should ask for, and persist for, be calibrated to the current vibe and my intuition of how invested she is/wishes to be? And obviously be done incrementally starting from something small to bigger and bigger stuff. If I do it like this and persist where necessary the dilemma stated in the example probably won't happen?

-Rob

 

[Ross]

Oooh. The fun girls.

Do you, or anyone else reading this, know what the root cause of her doing this is?

Compliance is usually tied to chasing. Experienced women know they aren't supposed to chase after men, as it is just as unattractive as a guy who is hopelessly chasing after a girl. It's just like you wouldn't be overly compliant to any of her silly requests. They also resist to test the men they are with, and also know if they resist too hard they can send that same guy into a mindset of, "Well, she won't come with me, off to find easier prospects."

Case in point: "let me see your hand" said in a warm questionlike yet commanding way to disarm.
Her: "Maybe I don't want to hold your hand" said with playful interested look
Me: "Intuition tells me different. Seriously I just want a closer look at your pimped out nail job let me see."
Her: "No!"
Me: "your embarrassed because your hands are sweaty, I see. No need to fear Miss X this is a judgement free zone, soo let me see your hand"
Her: shakes head purposely and stubbornly
Me: "you probably have cold hands anyway.. So tell me about when you went to xyz"

Well, this doesn't strike me as overly charming. It's persistent in the fact that you continue to ask her for her hand, but the tone of the end of the sentences tends to put her on the defensive by saying "Let me see".

It's like a salesman that's saying "This car is amazing, now take out your wallet!", then following it with, "I just want to see how full your big wallet is, now take it out!"

Puts you on the defensive, right? I made the same mistake a lot with women. It's overly direct, you're always saying give me this action. Flirting is about not being obvious about things.

The idea right here is to have her comply and say, "Fine..." Especially in the face of differences in frames, as it establishes dominance, charm, and compliance.

Here's a good example,

Me: "Let me see your hand, my dear."
Her: "Maybe I don't want to hold your hand" said with playful interested look
Me: "Maybe? That means that there's the slightest possibility that you DO want to hold my hand"

At that point she's not very likely to say, "No!" She usually complies. But lets say that she does in fact say no again.

You could pull out all the stops, but if you're trying to pull a cold woman who is completely resistant, you're simply not going to make it. Is it less dominant if you fail to change her frames? Not really. You're basically stuck in a deadlock, where neither party is dominant. Now, if you were to then comply to her every demand, she's the one who is obviously more dominant.

In the end, getting shut down for compliance doesn't detract from your dominance, but it doesn't add to it either. You're right back where you've started. Which is why these women can be a lot of fun, as even though they won't comply with things such as asking for your hand, you can both still mutually move towards the bedroom, in which the power dynamics can become even more heated and contested, but this time on a physical level.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Ross thanks for the reply this made more sense.

Well, this doesn't strike me as overly charming. It's persistent in the fact that you continue to ask her for her hand, but the tone of the end of the sentences tends to put her on the defensive by saying "Let me see".

Lol.

The idea right here is to have her comply and say, "Fine..."

Bingo, exactly what I'm looking for.

You could pull out all the stops, but if you're trying to pull a cold woman who is completely resistant, you're simply not going to make it. Is it less dominant if you fail to change her frames? Not really. You're basically stuck in a deadlock, where neither party is dominant.

Interesting I didn't know this, that makes me feel a bit better now. I was under the impression that framing was do or die with no tie's.

So Ross do you think it's a bad idea to reframe the demand when she is uncompliant into taking her idea of not complying and making it mine?
Quick example:
Me: "lets go home and watch a movie"
Her: "no I don't think that would be a good idea"
Me: "Your right you probably wouldn't be that much fun anyway alone"

obviously when used at the right time and in a teasing way. Or is this what you were talking about in making her defensive?

Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

-Rob

 

[Ross]

So Ross do you think it's a bad idea to reframe the demand when she is uncompliant into taking her idea of not complying and making it mine?

If you're truly reframing things in a direction that will still help you, then by all means do it. It's a great way to keep the conversation flowing. Your example of teasing could work quite well, especially if she seems like the type of girl that prides herself on being fun when isolated with a man .

 

[Mr.Rob]

Will work to get calibrated!

Thanks.