How Do You Guys Tell People Your Dad is a Sperm Donor?

[Student97]

I grew up not telling people my dad was a sperm donor. I had a single mom, but I would lie or avoid answering the question in some other way when people asked me something. But I met my biological dad out of college, and now I just finished graduate school, and I want to be open about it

I told a small group of guys from a college group and I told the two guys I play videogames with. But aside from that, I have yet to be open about it with people

 

[Student97]

I just want to clarify that I'm not being blasé about lying about it; that was less of a premeditated thing, more of a when push came to shove kind of thing

Also, I'm just like wondering if there is a socially calibrated way to be about such a thing (in contemporary American culture)

 

[Thedoctor]

Student,

I think you're making this out to be a bigger deal than it is. If this wasn't a somewhat common occurrence, then sperm donor banks would not exist.

That aside, I would probably only bring it up when asked about my family life growing up. But my response would probably be something like this: "My mother raised me on her own as I was growing up. I never got to know my father. She did a great job and I enjoyed my childhood." Usually, you'll find that people won't push the issue much if they do not know you that well.

If you do want to share the full story, then I have always found that direct is the best. Just come out and say it. Bear in mind that a small amount of close-minded people might be judgmental.

-John

 

[trashKENNUT]

Student,

Yea man, don't make this a big deal. I know you need to confide somewhere but not to other people though. You have your friends that you told already.

Besides i had a girl friend where her dad past away since she was young. She just said her mother raised her on her own. You can always lie that your dad pass away.

Zac

 

[Student97]

Hey,

Thanks guys for the replies. Yeah, John that sounds good with some of the stuff I was thinking. Yeah, and I'm actually just peeling back layer's of your response now, and seeing how that works on some other levels too, b/c it's not like people are feeling sorry for you about it, b/c you've got that positive thankful aspect to the response. And Zac, yeah that's a good point for me to hear that it's like not a necessity to tell people, don't need to be in any hurry to.

Yeah, thanks a lot for your help