How do you handle a contradiction in your mindset?
- Thread starter Evan27
- Start date
Why do people have the need for "Being perfect" ? It's usually because they feel they are not sufficient enough in some area of their lives, and they want to overcompensate that feeling by being perfect. They want to prove themselves to others by being perfect, perhaps they manage their anxiety by repetitive obsessive thoughts and compulsions that lead to what others perceive as perfection...
Many times it's about how you feel about yourself. You may be a great achiever and accomplish many good things, but if you don't feel good in your own skin people may not perceive you favorably. Many people are are overachievers, but when you get to known them closely you'll recognize that their achievements are simply attempts to impress others (because of low self esteem) or because they have lots of redundant anxious energy which they are focusing into some form of external success. They always have lots of energy for constant improvements, they always seek ways to improve every little detail because nothing is simply "good enough" in their minds, nothing can satisfy their hungry souls... The elevated anxiety and nervousness may also make other people feel quite uncomfortable, and because they are constantly improving themselves others may not feel relaxed enough in their presence; the overachiever is constantly trying to be better than other people, he always tries to win over others, many times he is constantly competing - while others are simply chilling and relaxing...
On the other hand, you may be a mischievous person with no accomplishments but because you feel good about yourself, many people will sympathize with you and perceive you as very likable person...
So what is good? A good way is to chose some moderate way. You want to accomplish something good or perhaps unusual, you want to compete in some areas without breaking your back; perhaps you want to prove yourself that you can accomplish some worthy and impressive things in life. There is nothing wrong with proving here and there that you are a great guy... At the same time you want to learn to feel good about yourself, you want to learn that the simplest things in life - such as being able to breathe, being healthy or having family - are good enough, they are all we really need to be happy... Sometimes we forget to appreciate things that we already have because we are constantly obsessed with things we believe we should have ...
Many times it's about how you feel about yourself. You may be a great achiever and accomplish many good things, but if you don't feel good in your own skin people may not perceive you favorably. Many people are are overachievers, but when you get to known them closely you'll recognize that their achievements are simply attempts to impress others (because of low self esteem) or because they have lots of redundant anxious energy which they are focusing into some form of external success. They always have lots of energy for constant improvements, they always seek ways to improve every little detail because nothing is simply "good enough" in their minds, nothing can satisfy their hungry souls... The elevated anxiety and nervousness may also make other people feel quite uncomfortable, and because they are constantly improving themselves others may not feel relaxed enough in their presence; the overachiever is constantly trying to be better than other people, he always tries to win over others, many times he is constantly competing - while others are simply chilling and relaxing...
On the other hand, you may be a mischievous person with no accomplishments but because you feel good about yourself, many people will sympathize with you and perceive you as very likable person...
So what is good? A good way is to chose some moderate way. You want to accomplish something good or perhaps unusual, you want to compete in some areas without breaking your back; perhaps you want to prove yourself that you can accomplish some worthy and impressive things in life. There is nothing wrong with proving here and there that you are a great guy... At the same time you want to learn to feel good about yourself, you want to learn that the simplest things in life - such as being able to breathe, being healthy or having family - are good enough, they are all we really need to be happy... Sometimes we forget to appreciate things that we already have because we are constantly obsessed with things we believe we should have ...
