How do you keep a steady level of confidence

[Lex]

Since I started to approach girls I faced the same problem...My level of confidence in myself fluctuate too much.A girl will gave me a compliments I will feel so good like I can conquer the world...then ill approach a girl who wont respond so good to me and ill feel like shit.

An other example: Ive had my first lay recently...she's into me I Know it but on day she said to me that she had a lot of experience... I dont know why but i felt like shit...

So how do you keep a steady level of confidence in yourself?

 

[Franco]

Lex,

Experience.

The more experience you get, the more your confidence begins to snowball because you have much more understanding of not only women but also yourself as well. Every time you lack some confidence, just remember that it's because you are still learning and still improving yourself. Don't attribute it to something you're doing wrong, otherwise you'll just feel down on yourself like you're not capable of doing it right.

Just remember that every girl you talk to and every interaction you have (successful or not successful) is actually a boost in experience; and boosts in experience eventually translate to boosts in confidence.

So keep at it, bud! =)

- Franco

 

[trashKENNUT]

Lex,

side note:

Just don't. When you learn your failures, you come out better.

Zac

 

[Lex]

Franco thank you for your quick reply

It make a lot of sense like everything in life experience is the key !!

Zac
I wont stop,not after my first taste of success

Lex

 

[trashKENNUT]

Lex,

I wont stop,not after my first taste of success

That's not what i meant. With every failure, you can learn something. Learning why you fail will also help you speed the learning curve. But seduction is lifelong learning.

Zac

 

[Estate]

Everyone gets some level of "mood swings" depending on whats going on in their life or around them... but you can learn to deal.

One of the best articles on this site I still think is the one about dealing with Depression.
Not because you have to have chronic depression to appreciate it but the advice there is some of the best ever for just putting yourself in a positive mood if you're ever having bad day.

 

[Mr.Rob]

A girl will gave me a compliments I will feel so good like I can conquer the world...then ill approach a girl who wont respond so good to me and ill feel like shit.

I think we all start out similar to this and I'll say for one this improves, as Franco noted, when you get more experience. Then when you get rejected you don't try and find a deeper meaning in the rejection (meaning you aren't questioning your self image from the rejection) because you can look back on all the references you have of women loving you so you know she just missed out. As opposed to wondering if you're a loser creep.

Also I got over this stage pretty quick personally. If you look deeper I bet you'll find it's a validation thing where your state is more anchored externally than internally. I'd keep an eye on this because if you get to deep into seeking validation you'll become outcome dependent and ungrounded. Which means if you go out and approach girls and you get blown out your whole night goes down the drain. You become dependent on your environment and it's inhabitants to be in a good mood.

Don't freak out if this is you (it may not be and I'm reading this wrong) just be aware of it and seek to get to the point where rejection isn't a big deal (more experience).

To me ideally you want to get to the point where rejection is literally a source of comedy to you and actually raises your mood (I can do this a decent majority of the time now). Thus no matter what the outcome of any given interaction you will see an increase in state.

Like I said just be aware of this and be wary of validation seeking. It's a nice guy trait... your not a nice guy, you're a pimp!

Ive had my first lay recently...she's into me I Know it but on day she said to me that she had a lot of experience... I dont know why but i felt like shit...

Insecure. It happens as an "ego" thing. You're little egoic self can't take the fact that she's better at sex than you, which is fucking stupid. I know because I had the same thing happen to me with a girl. However, you have to accept it and realize that if she likes you she doesn't care and when she sees you caring about it she sees weakness in you and that's unattractive.

Thing about insecurities and women is that whatever your insecure about women could care less about, unless... you care. When you care and think your insecurity is a "bid deal" they'll think your a bitch.

Instead seek to learn from her (she can probably show teach you to be a better lover) and think about as if "she spent all that time sucking dick and fucking other guys to be a pro in the bedroom just so she could please YOU... she did it for YOU. Enjoy it". Delusional yes, but reframe it so it's better for you!

Good luck!

-Rob