Hey everybody.
I went to write my NBTs in a university somewhere. Its like the SATs but the South African version. There were tons of girls there and I noticed that many people were alone and afraid of making new friends. This in turn made me a bit anxious to start socializing in the university and as a result I only spoke to two girls.
Anyway, my question isn't really concerning approach anxiety since It only came because I was afraid my time spent in isolation hindered my social skills. My actual question concerns one of my interaction with one of the girls
She was sitting at a table outside. I opened her and spoke with her for about 10 mins. After that period she started complaining about how tired she was and she started to lie on her arms.
Now, this could have been because it was the end of the day and she could have been tired from working, but I've noticed that a lot of girls I talk to end up doing the same thing. Complaining about how tired they are (no matter what time it is) for whatever reason.
My question is, is this something all girls do? Or is the problem me? Do I need to give off more energy? What is small talk? What is it to deep dive and how do I know when (and how) to transition between the two?
Also, in my country, I cannot speak the native tongue. I'm only rooted in English. I think this has an impact on the conversations I have since if I say the exact same thing that somebody else has said, it would create an entirely different atmosphere only because I said it in English. So how do I combat this. Do I say more serious things? Do I say more jokes?
Oh, and I've learnt that I make sarcasm and witty one liners a huge part of my conversations (as I was told by a girl I'm friends with). Is this a bad thing?
I realized that I overcame approach anxiety when my friends told me that I almost seem to not have the emotion of fear since I always go up to a girl the second I see her and because I always seem to remain calm when speaking to her.
This is of course shit, since I'm always terrified as I walk up to them and I always seem to make a verbal fuax pas for every minute that passes the interaction.
But anyway, I've decided to focus all of my effort on conversation now. I want to get all of my fundamentals down but I figure that I can only win the race by taking it one step at a time.
Keep in mind that when I was younger, I was more high energy than ever, but people always seemed to frown upon me doing that.
To wrap up my question, I'm basically asking how to have a conversation with a girl without boring her as well as without overdoing the whole "energy bunny" characteristic.
I went to write my NBTs in a university somewhere. Its like the SATs but the South African version. There were tons of girls there and I noticed that many people were alone and afraid of making new friends. This in turn made me a bit anxious to start socializing in the university and as a result I only spoke to two girls.
Anyway, my question isn't really concerning approach anxiety since It only came because I was afraid my time spent in isolation hindered my social skills. My actual question concerns one of my interaction with one of the girls
She was sitting at a table outside. I opened her and spoke with her for about 10 mins. After that period she started complaining about how tired she was and she started to lie on her arms.
Now, this could have been because it was the end of the day and she could have been tired from working, but I've noticed that a lot of girls I talk to end up doing the same thing. Complaining about how tired they are (no matter what time it is) for whatever reason.
My question is, is this something all girls do? Or is the problem me? Do I need to give off more energy? What is small talk? What is it to deep dive and how do I know when (and how) to transition between the two?
Also, in my country, I cannot speak the native tongue. I'm only rooted in English. I think this has an impact on the conversations I have since if I say the exact same thing that somebody else has said, it would create an entirely different atmosphere only because I said it in English. So how do I combat this. Do I say more serious things? Do I say more jokes?
Oh, and I've learnt that I make sarcasm and witty one liners a huge part of my conversations (as I was told by a girl I'm friends with). Is this a bad thing?
I realized that I overcame approach anxiety when my friends told me that I almost seem to not have the emotion of fear since I always go up to a girl the second I see her and because I always seem to remain calm when speaking to her.
This is of course shit, since I'm always terrified as I walk up to them and I always seem to make a verbal fuax pas for every minute that passes the interaction.
But anyway, I've decided to focus all of my effort on conversation now. I want to get all of my fundamentals down but I figure that I can only win the race by taking it one step at a time.
Keep in mind that when I was younger, I was more high energy than ever, but people always seemed to frown upon me doing that.
To wrap up my question, I'm basically asking how to have a conversation with a girl without boring her as well as without overdoing the whole "energy bunny" characteristic.
