How does a "sexy man" handle social networks

[StoicMind]

This was something I was thinking about today, I stumbled across a spoken word speaking to how social media and technology in general prohibits us to be in the moment. Personally, I haven't had any type of social network (aside from forums) for about 3 years. This summer I'm dedicating to my fundamentals before I start college in the fall and I want to know how I should handle social media, should I have it and just not place importance in it or am I fine not having it. I just feel that it will be a bit weird not to have a internet presence, especially in this day and age, or do you think it would be the good kind of weird in which I'm viewed as a non conformist and someone who is more present to reality?

 

[Franco]

StoicMind,

I wouldn't get social media unless you actually have a good reason to get it (such as networking opportunities, invitations to events, reconnecting with old friends, etc).

If you DO choose to get social media, just don't become engrossed with it, and NEVER get involved in conversations dealing with women and relationships on that social media. Women use social media to get attention, orbiters, and men to chase them, so the last thing you want to do (as a strong, dominant man) is GIVE them that attention. Use it for whatever other reasons you want to use it for. Or, if you don't have any good reasons, then I would just avoid it altogether. =)

- Franco

 

[Rhaegar]

I am a complete beginner, but I used to use social media a lot. Infact, almost every girl I've been with has been due to social media.

I'm in university and I've decided to delete my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, it made me realize just how much I relied on those 3 sites to get with girls instead of cold approaching, now I've made it that if I want to meet a pretty girl, I got to man up and do it in person.

I've noticed some girls are now always wondering what I am up to, because they can't find out everything that I am doing now that it's deleted. There really is no point to having it, as Franco said, it will just make you an orbitor in the girls eyes.

And the girls you're friends with on social media consider you to be their fan, instead of a sexual man.

 

[robbies]

Agreed. Social media is lame and fails to take the place of real-life social interactions. Unless you have a good reason for using it (blogging, looking at inspirational posts from a FB page you liked, or part of your business activities), stay away from it.

 

[Tim Iron]

If you have a website that makes you money, then use social media to connect with you visitors and customers, if NOT stay the hell away from social media - it is a time suck and you would not get any really cute girl with social media these days!

 

[Big Daddy]

StoicMind,

I wouldn't get social media unless you actually have a good reason to get it (such as networking opportunities, invitations to events, reconnecting with old friends, etc).

If you DO choose to get social media, just don't become engrossed with it, and NEVER get involved in conversations dealing with women and relationships on that social media. Women use social media to get attention, orbiters, and men to chase them, so the last thing you want to do (as a strong, dominant man) is GIVE them that attention. Use it for whatever other reasons you want to use it for. Or, if you don't have any good reasons, then I would just avoid it altogether. =)

- Franco

This. Could you elaborate more on how to "behave" as a dominant man in social media?

I get that most people would chat endlessly with girls and get caught in such public conversations, but that is simply not my case. I hate chatting and shit on social media, so that wouldn't be something to be concerned with. (If you have problems on spending too much time on social media, I recommend reading this.) Facebook has its advantages for networking and avoiding it completely as I did in the past few years didn't bring any advantages, as I never would spend more than a couple of hours per week on it. So I've been meaning to create a killer Facebook account that portrays me as a sexy man with little maintenance, because being aware of your social circle and potential targets one hour per week wouldn't hurt anyone.

I never asked for anyone's Facebook before, I'm always the one who gets the request, so saying "here's my Facebook profile for you to be checking all day and commenting on my pics, thus preselecting me to other girls while I don't even log on that account more than an hour/week" would be nice as well.

Regarding girls, I see Facebook as a portfolio: you just leave some mysterious facts and photos about yourself as a bait and let them bite. Meanwhile, you're using Facebook for reasons you want to use it for: business, groups, etc. You can read my detailed entry in this post (in a thread that has actually a lot of valuable insights regarding social media).

Do you have any suggestions to that? How to behave/what to let the girls see/what kind of profile/picture you let them see...?

 

[Estate]

Honestly, anyone I know that I can honestly say is either pretty good with women or just generally a pretty cool all-round guy doesn't use social networking much.

I mean, they have Facebook but it's not very active. Let's be honest, the guy who posts 5 times a day displaying what am awesome life he has is usually the most lame try-hard kinda guy.
If I think of guys who are actually cool they just don't post to facebook much. When they do, it's short and sweet, and usually something like a checkin some place fun or a photo of something cool they found. Something that genuinely makes you go "Oh, that's pretty cool!" rather than it being a try-hard "Look at me!" sort of thing, just fishing to Likes and Comments.

They rarely seem to comment also, even if someone directly mentions or replies to them. They might give one short reply sometimes.

I think it always gave me the impression that if they post sparingly and when they do, it's actually something cool and not attention seeking, then they probably actually do have a pretty cool life going on and don't have time to be on their phone the whole time.

 

[StoicMind]

Great replies guys, thanks.

 

[Franco]

Big Daddy,

This. Could you elaborate more on how to "behave" as a dominant man in social media?

Do you have any suggestions to that? How to behave/what to let the girls see/what kind of profile/picture you let them see...?

Well, the first thing to understand here is that Facebook won't help you look dominant or get women. You might get some attraction from women, but even if you do, it's best you don't act on it on Facebook and instead act on it in person with that girl given the opportunity (or even private message her to get together).

As far as my usage patterns on Facebook, one thing I make sure I never do is post photos. There's something about posting (or taking) photos that screams "I need validation" because you're expecting people to "Like" or "Comment" on them. And even if this isn't your intention, it's what OTHER people will believe your intention is, otherwise you wouldn't have cared to post it. You can post a photo or two of yourself as a good profile picture, but other than that, the only other photos that end up on my Facebook are tagged by my friends (and mostly female ones).

The other thing to make sure not to do is to comment on anything having to do with relationships or men and women. Females love posting links and articles and music lyrics on FB trying to convey their emotions about (usually) some situation they are in with a guy. Commenting on this crap immediately starts placing you into more of an orbiter role, so it's not worth your time.

As for me, I just generally tend to post funny or insightful comments on Facebook, and I occasionally write funny or insightful comments on my friends' posts. Also, I tend to like all the Facebook pages of the clubs/bars I attend so that I can know about their events when they have them. Facebook also functions as a way for my friends to let me know about their events or gatherings so that I can attend them.

No one ever sees anything sappy or emotionally revealing about me on Facebook. They just see a good-looking, witty guy who occasionally makes posts or comments that make people laugh or smile. And they might even see me tagged in pictures with tons of hot girls as well...

- Franco

 

[Big Daddy]

Hey Franco, Estate, thanks for your input!

Well, the first thing to understand here is that Facebook won't help you look dominant or get women. You might get some attraction from women, but even if you do, it's best you don't act on it on Facebook and instead act on it in person with that girl given the opportunity (or even private message her to get together).

Yep, I don't expect to game on Facebook, as many would expect from some guy making a Facebook profile to attract girls. I think of it as passive income - I just put it up there and let it run while I just check it a few hours/week for "maintenance".

As for me, I just generally tend to post funny or insightful comments on Facebook, and I occasionally write funny or insightful comments on my friends' posts.

No one ever sees anything sappy or emotionally revealing about me on Facebook. They just see a good-looking, witty guy who occasionally makes posts or comments that make people laugh or smile. And they might even see me tagged in pictures with tons of hot girls as well...

That's what I'm going after. Every time I see guy acting like this on Facebook, seeing pics of cool social gatherings surround by hot girls, it's inevitable to think that "this guy must be a very cool guy". If you ever attended an event where such guy was present, it would be that guy that everyone would be thrilled to meet and he did absolutely nothing besides putting up a decent FB profile.

On a side note...

Also, I tend to like all the Facebook pages of the clubs/bars I attend so that I can know about their events when they have them. Facebook also functions as a way for my friends to let me know about their events or gatherings so that I can attend them.

You said you used to be social circle king... when are we going to see a post detailing how to host awesome parties or manage to be around social circles that promotes badass parties? I'd love to read it! Not necessarily for bedding girls, but rather because attending parties/events with lots of people you know (or kinda know) can be a lot of fun!

 

[Franco]

BD,

You said you used to be social circle king... when are we going to see a post detailing how to host awesome parties or manage to be around social circles that promotes badass parties? I'd love to read it! Not necessarily for bedding girls, but rather because attending parties/events with lots of people you know (or kinda know) can be a lot of fun!

Well, if you want to have a surefire way of doing it, it's by throwing your own parties.

The other option is to live in a nice bachelor pad by the bars and make it a "public" space that people come through for pre-gaming or after-parties. When people know your place as THE place to be at before or after the party, you'll naturally have lots of new girls coming through because of friends that will constantly bring new friends. If you own the place, it makes it all the more intriguing to the girls as to why everyone comes to YOUR place for events -- not to mention it also means your bedroom is only a few footsteps away!

If I get some time, I might write up a topic on being the "social circle king." These days, I've mostly been focused on cold approach, so it's probably why I haven't gone too much into detail on it.

- Franco

 

[Estate]

That's what I'm going after. Every time I see guy acting like this on Facebook, seeing pics of cool social gatherings surround by hot girls, it's inevitable to think that "this guy must be a very cool guy". If you ever attended an event where such guy was present, it would be that guy that everyone would be thrilled to meet and he did absolutely nothing besides putting up a decent FB profile.

There's a key part of Francis advice I really wanted to highlight here about being pictured in fun social situations or with hot girls.

You are posting them all yourself = bad.
You are being tagged in them by said hot girls = good (the effect you're talking about).

I can go on some people I know. A few who are decent with woman and pretty social tend to be tagged a lot but rarely post themselves. To the contrary I can think of 2 specific guys who have zero game but will ask girls to take photos with them then post to facebook. If they can't get photos with the girls they'll post pictures of drinks or whatever to get attention and give the impression they are living the highlife but it comes off very transparent to anyone with half a brain.

 

[Big Daddy]

Franco,

Yeah, for bedding girls I'd say that cold approach is more efficient than social circle, but they can be a lot of fun nevertheless. It also could easily provide pics with said hot girls.

Estate,

So true! I might have to work on a little bit on making friendships and getting out with hot girls... (not just for the pics! )

 

[Big Daddy]

Also, I forgot to add: so, since you have to actually post pictures, Instagram is off?

 

[Estate]

I know this is only my opinion but I just don't think it's all that important.

I see guys posting the "Hottttt!" "Oh babe" "Bewbs" type comments on girls photos but does it help them get laid? I doubt it? Maybe I'm wrong?

The point I was going with was this. Don't try "constructing" the perfect profile, or the perfect posts to make her go "Wow".
I think it's just more attractive all round when someone doesn't look like they live on social media and just have real stuff going on.
In terms of posting... post whatever you want... but post what you like or find amusing or cool or whatever, just don't be the guy fishing for likes...it's so transparent.

 

[Franco]

Also, I forgot to add: so, since you have to actually post pictures, Instagram is off?

I literally bash my head into a wall whenever a guy tells me he has an Instagram.

The next logical question that comes to mind is, "oh, so do you shop at Victoria's Secret, too?!"

- Franco

 

[Big Daddy]

Estate,

Got your point. I'll make it a uber minimalist profile, if I even manage to do one. It is really obvious when guy try to go for likes. I was just reading again what you guys said and I realized that that doesn't make them any more likely to fuck someone regardless of how many likes that showing-abs-while-drinking-vodka-in-a-pool-party pic has. I liked Franco's suggestions of liking bars/clubs/venues to know what is happening. That's the only thing on my news feed now.

I literally bash my head into a wall whenever a guy tells me he has an Instagram.

The next logical question that comes to mind is, "oh, so do you shop at Victoria's Secret, too?!"

- Franco

Hahahahahahahahaha I laughed out loud at this one!

You guys are awesome. Just listening to what other guys who understand how this shit works have to say can be downright enlightening. The world just makes sense now

 

[StoicMind]

Excellent responses Franco, this is something I wish Chase would cover in detail for everyone. I know a lot of guys who are in the same boat as me building themselves as "sexy men" and still fall to social media.