My girlfriend (not explicitly exclusive) came to visit me last weekend. We made plans months ago and talked maybe once a week briefly over text. She's still in school and I'm in a different state most of the year. Before she left we were talking about meeting up or doing a trip together and vaguely discussing dates. If I really like this girl, should I make more of an effort to see her soon? Because I really like her, I don't want to make seeing her an inconvenience to either of us. So should I just plan visits at my own pace unless she wants to come visit me? I feel like I'd rather have her come visit me or do things in "my world" because if I have a serious relationship, I'll want it to be more revolved around my life. Is this view maybe a bit too one-sided? Is there any sort of obligation to go and visit if I'm available? Frankly, I don't really want to visit her at school (at least for right now) but I don't want to be a dick and just tell her that. Am I best to just say I can't because I'm busy?
LDR's, exclusive or not, are based on tailoring the visit schedule around each person's travel ability. Alternating who visits who is a nice goal but pretty unrealistic.
One thing that does help though is having a "next time" to look forward to. If you have a career with regular hours, and or paid time off, you are probably more mobile than her as a student. She is going to have certain times of the Quarter or semester when she HAS to focus on studies. MidTerms and Finals and Projects tend to take up Days and hours including weekends. You want to avoid visiting during THOSE times for sure. Get out the Academic Calendar and block those days out as no fly...As well as her Red zone...
So focus on Holidays in your hometown, and be her guest for university events like Family weekend, Homecoming, etc. . Plan a neutral location for Spring break. But get something on the books...
One thing that does help though is having a "next time" to look forward to. If you have a career with regular hours, and or paid time off, you are probably more mobile than her as a student. She is going to have certain times of the Quarter or semester when she HAS to focus on studies. MidTerms and Finals and Projects tend to take up Days and hours including weekends. You want to avoid visiting during THOSE times for sure. Get out the Academic Calendar and block those days out as no fly...As well as her Red zone...
So focus on Holidays in your hometown, and be her guest for university events like Family weekend, Homecoming, etc. . Plan a neutral location for Spring break. But get something on the books...
Thanks Rocky. Sounds right to me. It definitely helps to have something to look forward to. With my situation, I'm on my own schedule pretty much. So I could visit often...I just don't want to overdo it or set a precedent that I do all of the traveling. Am I maybe thinking about investment dynamics too much? I really like this girl/she likes me so I'm trying to set this up to last long term