How is social life generally like for "naturals" after school?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Other than being with lots of different women, I want to know what kind of a social life naturals have after school.

Your typical guy is going to have his fun in high school or college or whatever, assuming he wants to have fun, and then shortly after that get married and have kids. Now we're all aiming to be better than the average guy and actually make something of ourselves but I have no idea on how it works in the real world.

In high school and college, the social life for the alphas and naturals was relatively straightforward. Parties with hot girls at their campus, large social get togethers, and all of that jazz.

My question is more along the lines of how it looks like once you're out of school. How the social life for naturals look like and how their Friday and Saturday night when they're 30 might be different than the Friday and Saturday night for an average guy who has to take care of his kid.

Can anyone gave me a rough idea of this?

 

[Fuck This]

Just because guys are naturals at meeting and talking to women doesn't mean it is any easier. They just pick up the opposite sexes signals better. I think Naturals are prone to get Sales jobs right out of school, since they are comfortable making new contacts and talking with people.

I left college and went to work in a small community. Because I was an outsider I attracted a fair amount of attention when I showed up at a social event. Kind of a big fish small pond phenomenon. Had I been single I could have burned through the local talent in a hurry and not had options after a couple months.

In reality when you start in the work force you are meeting a whole new social circle, so it is important not to "Pee in the Pool" within your company, and industry. Gotta pace yourself and leverage those work contacts into social connections. It is a whole new world of people, especially if you travel for work. Might meet a cute girl in the airport, and get a number and have a n option when you are "in town". The possibilities are endless.


I think OLD becomes easier once you are in the Workforce. More in common with people with a busy work life with long hours. "Make the most of a brief moment".

 

[Richard]

Not this again.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Not this again.

No no no no no, this has nothing to do with being popular and above others.

 

[Lotus]

For me the biggest change was the size of my social circle(s). They decreased dramatically, for the better. No longer was I in large groups week in and week out. That doesn't mean I don't attend parties anymore, but less frequently. As a result, there's a lot less social pressure and way more freedom to express myself

I ended up with a lot more people who wanted to be around me(selectively) and so they were less likely to judge or try to tool.

It's less intimidating for girls when your only around 1-2 guys, and much easier to start conversations.

I talk to a select group of people for much longer periods then previously.

My social gatherings are much less alcohol centered. Currently I have 2-3 semi-intermingled social circles through soccer in my city. Expansion was slow at first because I was in a new town(just over 1yr) but now that I have a base it's gotten easier.

In reality when you start in the work force you are meeting a whole new social circle, so it is important not to "Pee in the Pool" within your company, and industry. Gotta pace yourself and leverage those work contacts into social connections. It is a whole new world of people, especially if you travel for work. Might meet a cute girl in the airport, and get a number and have a n option when you are "in town". The possibilities are endless.

My experience as well.

Lotus

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

See that's the thing, I missed out on belonging to large social circles in college and the alcohol fueled experience as well, wondering if the only way I will get it is by going to grad school which would be a pretty bad reason to go to grad school but YOLO right?

 

[Fuck This]

See that's the thing, I missed out on belonging to large social circles in college and the alcohol fueled experience as well, wondering if the only way I will get it is by going to grad school which would be a pretty bad reason to go to grad school but YOLO right?

I never heard someone say a Grad Student was the life of a party, BMOC, or threw great parties. If you don't have a career path mapped out with Grad school as an immediate next step after a Bachelors, my theory is to find a career where the employer will pay for the graduate degree. If they are willing to make that investment in you then it is worth doing.

Your years after graduation should be a period of great personal growth as you find your passions that you want to pursue while you have minimal expenses or things holding you back like mortgage, spouse,and kids. In pursuing those passions you will meet the kind of people who will fit into the next chapter of your life if the passion you pursue is truly tenable for the long term. Those people become your social circle, your business network and your cheerleaders in life.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

Altair,

How many guys/girls do you start conversations with per week/month in an attempt to possibly befriend them and form a social circle?

How many girls do you cold approach per week to build your skills with females, which will then help you pick up girls in social circle settings?

How many clubs/organizations/activity groups are you currently a part of or are looking to join, so that you can practice group dynamics and meeting girls in social circles?

I ask these because I'm concerned that you're thinking of going to grad school and possibly spending tens-of-thousands of dollars in an attempt to live out the "college experience" that you say you missed out on. If you aren't doing those things currently, I don't see how going to grad school will help you.

 

[Grand Pooba]

No no no no no, this has nothing to do with being popular and above others.

See that's the thing, I missed out on belonging to large social circles in college and the alcohol fueled experience as well, wondering if the only way I will get it is by going to grad school which would be a pretty bad reason to go to grad school but YOLO right?

lol wut?

I ask these because I'm concerned that you're thinking of going to grad school and possibly spending tens-of-thousands of dollars in an attempt to live out the "college experience" that you say you missed out on. If you aren't doing those things currently, I don't see how going to grad school will help you.

Going to grad school for the sake of being popular is a terrible, terrible idea - you are paying up to $100,000+ for a fleeting feeling that will last only 1-2 years at best. There is only one reason for grad school - education and training to elevate your career.

Your "lack" is not external, it's internal. It's WITHIN YOU.

Want a large circle of friends who go out on drinking binges almost weekly? Get a high paying very high stress job in financial services in a place like NYC or Chicago where you're working 60-80 or more hours a week, then releasing all that stress blowing money on alcohol on the weekends. But it's still not worth it, man.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

See that's the thing, my university years never really provided me much opportunity to be a part of large social circles so I spent them developing myself, reading a lot, learning game, approaching women (which was a bad idea in a college setting), and all of that. Then later I came to discover that what I really wanted is what a lot of college kids are supposed to get, belonging to those large social circles and having that feel of a community in your life. It's not like I want to be Mr.Cool but I just want to belong to large social circles and the whole Mysterious guy thing is just not for me.

I just want to know other than financial careers, what can grant me that. I just want to belong to a large community of people and not a small group because that is just the kind of environment I find myself thriving in. During college, the opportunities for that environment didn't come as much, mainly because I transferred schools and started out at a community college.

So I am wondering if the window of opportunity for that goes away after college.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

During college, the opportunities for that environment didn't come as much, mainly because I transferred schools and started out at a community college.

Lmao BBoy just did a post about his lessons learned in college and how he started off at community college before transferring into a four-year university. He managed to get laid a good amount and have a bunch of cool social experiences despite being in the same boat as you. Seeing as how you completely avoided the questions I asked, I think it's safe to say that you don't take much action regularly (if any at all) to improve your dilemma. You will never be in undergrad again and until you make peace with that, you will never be able to move forward in your life and will be posting about this same topic until you're an old man in his rocking chair.

It seems that every time someone gives you feedback/advice, all you do is refute it and go on about your missed opportunities. I've seen you post about good looking loser before and if you know anything about Chris you'll know that his story is all about being a loner in college and missing out on the "college experience" which is your EXACT crisis. Yet, he managed to create a party lifestyle and bang a lot of hot girls after college and now he's rich and has a smoking hot girlfriend. What's your excuse...

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I did avoid your question, because it isn't what I want. I don't really value getting laid or talking to random women as much as I value belonging to a large social crowd, making lots of new friends, and having that feeling of a community in my life. As for BBoy, those are his circumstances, mines are mines.

I am looking forward and trying to fix my social life, make a lot of friends, find my tribe, and fit into a large social circle; getting laid is just not my priority at all.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

How many guys/girls do you start conversations with per week/month in an attempt to possibly befriend them and form a social circle?

How many clubs/organizations/activity groups are you currently a part of or are looking to join

So those questions aren't relative to this...

I value belonging to a large social crowd, making lots of new friends, and having that feeling of a community in my life

I'm pretty sure joining clubs/organizations revolving around hobbies and interests give people a feeling of community and sense of belonging, not to mention opportunities to make lots of new friends. Franco has specifically talked about this before in other "college years wasted" posts

As for BBoy, those are his circumstances, mines are mines.

...and just what are those circumstances of yours if you don't mind me asking?

trying to fix my social life, make a lot of friends, find my tribe, and fit into a large social circle; getting laid is just not my priority at all

That's fine if getting laid isn't your main priority, but then why do you ignore all of the advice that has been given to you (by Chase, Franco, and other high-ranking members) that was specifically geared towards helping you achieve the things you just stated? Why do you keep posting the same thread over and over again? There are several threads pertaining to having a fulfilling social life after college (social circle and all) on this forum, so why haven't you tried any of it out? That's my issue with you right now man.

I just thought I'd chime in on your thread and give my 2 cents seeing as how I'm living that lifestyle that you seem to so desperately crave (Fraternity and other).

 

[Smith]

I did avoid your question, because it isn't what I want. I don't really value getting laid or talking to random women as much as I value belonging to a large social crowd, making lots of new friends, and having that feeling of a community in my life. As for BBoy, those are his circumstances, mines are mines.

I am looking forward and trying to fix my social life, make a lot of friends, find my tribe, and fit into a large social circle; getting laid is just not my priority at all.

Look man, at the core, fixing your social life is pretty much the same as getting laid. They both require the same skills. The core principles are the same. You need to be a great conversationalist. Know how to spike emotion and maintain a positive vibe around you...etc. It's the SAME THING. If you have a great social life and know how to make lots of new friends, then talking to women shouldn't be too hard for you, let along getting laid. Talking to random women, or even people, IS how you fix your social life lol.

 

[Yhaceed]

I asked this same question when I was like 17 or 18 to a guy in college. I said are the good old days always in high school and he told me college was better. So it is what you make it. You've got acres of diamonds but you can't even see it. Here's a link to this story: http://www.nightingale.com/articles/acres-of-diamonds/ (you don't need to read the whole article just the story). So if I were you I'd interact with 10,000 "ugly" girls and guys. And when you're good with them in social circle you might draw what you think is better looking or maybe they'll introduce you to them. Matter of fact I think you want this handed to you and I can tell you it practically is because everyday you're passing by tons of people you could form relationships with if you just stop and talk to them. So if you want a good social life go out and get it and I'm sure you'll have luck on your side.

~Yhaceed