How Often Should You Text?

[Garrett]

Hey guys,

So I'm aware of the idea of expectation setting, sending the girl a text a few hours after first sex, seeing her shortly after for round 2, then seeing her on average every 10 days until and if you want to take things seriously. Having said that, once you are in a committed relationship, how often do you text your girl? Since finding this site and incorporating what's been taught, I almost never text girls, unless they're my friends or if I'm trying to meetup with that. I never do text conversations anymore.

Anyways, I'm aware that you have to become more authentic in the relationship, have a plan, and stick to it. I'm not in a relationship, and am currently not seeking one. I don't think I'll ever actively seek a relationship again thanks to this site, but I know that emotions can be very influential as many of you know . With that being said, I'm also a firm believer in having a plan, as opposed to going with the flow, in order to be prepared for how I'll handle the relationship, and that includes learning how to text in one.

Before finding this site, I used to text girls all the time, and got girlfriends on occasion. Based on what I've experienced and learned, I don't think it matters how often you text the girl while in committed relationships, as long as it's not every minute/annoying/clingy. I'm not one to send cute/corny messages all the time, although it's good to be warm in your messages.

So guys, enough about me, I want to hear more about you. How do you text in your relationships? Do you guys have any relationship texting advice? Although it's purposeful to use texting to build a bit of rapport (I usually skip this) and get girls out, sometimes you just want to chat with your girl or girl(s) . Any advice/comments will be valued!

Cheers
Garrett

 

[girlsfollow]

I think its about the natural expectations of both parties together with the expectations that you set. you can probably shift her need for texts up and down from her set point depending on how you frame it and how you act at the start of the rel. My ex I was with for 2.5 years and we used to text at least once per day usually more - I liked it she liked it - it brought us closer - if anything it was when I tried playing with my attainability and trying to push it down and make her chase it actually drove her away - everything has an effect...

 

[HitMeNone]

if anything it was when I tried playing with my attainability and trying to push it down and make her chase it actually drove her away - everything has an effect...

so you're saying if you would not text her for a few days it would push her away?

Isn't that against the principles that girls should chase you and you should have lower investment than them?

 

[girlsfollow]

if anything it was when I tried playing with my attainability and trying to push it down and make her chase it actually drove her away - everything has an effect...

so you're saying if you would not text her for a few days it would push her away?

Isn't that against the principles that girls should chase you and you should have lower investment than them?

It depends - in this case I think I had already pushed her away and had not been giving her enough attention for some time - so this reduction likely caused auto rejection rather than chasing..... At the time I felt it was the only thing to do because she had disrespected me, I thought if I removed attention she would reconsider and apologise - but it turns out its better to deal with disrespect head on - freeze outs dont work - that was a mistake - you need to be careful when using "principles" - they apply in certain sets of circumstances not others -this is why these principles - especially advanced ones can hurt you initially as a beginner

 

[HitMeNone]

Ye agreed. It's sometimes hard to calibrate between - "Let her chase if she wants" and "Show her that you care about her".

Cheers,