How to act on this date? Think it'll be awkward!

[Fluxcapacitor]

A have a date set up dudes an conflicted how to act on it so asking for some advice. A know the best advice is meet other girls, but she's set this up or a wouldn't have bothered.

A few month back I went on a date which wasn't great an a decided to wait a bit before setting up another. She text immediately after apologising for her awkwardness, that she had fun an we need to go out again soon. A rewarded her effort by asking when she was free (possibly seemed to available) an she didn't get back to me. After 3 weeks she gave a shit ping message but it was just that, shit. There was no progress, nothing sincere she just acknowledged she hadn't replied in a while so I ignored it.

A few weeks later she starts texting again but am blunt, dismissive, cold an not engaging. Taking days to reply an she still responds within minutes. After a ignored a hint she flat out asked me out an arranged a date.

Now am thinking if am not warm an slightly engaging on the date it'll be difficult to escalate an she's not gonna start it. If am warm an engaging I break my frame an let her an her shit behaviour of the hook.

Nothing in the interaction so far seems sincere, it feels like it's a ping on am here... which will lead nowhere because she's done this a couple times now. Thoughts dude's?

 

[Fuck This]

She probably had another guy she was interested in who is no longer an option.

Pretend like nothing happened, but go for the Fclose or nothing.....

I had to read the post 3 separate times to understand it.

 

[JacobPalmer]

She probably had another guy she was interested in who is no longer an option.

Pretend like nothing happened, but go for the Fclose or nothing.....

I had to read the post 3 separate times to understand it.

Fuck right is right, she probably had another guy. Don't make a big deal about it. You can start off a little cold but warm up to her if she's putting in effort. This will make her feel like she's winning you over.

Once you take her home and sleep together, then you could bring up why she ghosted, but in a cool calm way. You have to ask it like you don't really care but are just curious.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Fuck This and JacobPalmer dudes! Yeah she most probably did, I'm not bothered why she went ghost I really don't care it happens.

I was just curious about how to act, if I was to warm it's like am too happy to get another shot at her and it breaks my frame of being nonchalant and letting her set up everything.

On the other side if I'm too nonchalant she could feel like am being too difficult and that'll make her feel awkward rather than rewarding her effort.

I think ya right bout starting off cold but warming up so it's like she's winning me over. It's just the whole thing of break the touch barrier early. Don't wait to kiss do it early unless ya going for a no touch escalation. (Tried this with her previously and generated to much sexual tension for her)

The aim was the Fclose. I had to cancel the date cause my bro ended up in hospital so didn't meet her in the end anyway.

 

[Fuck This]

Your attitude is," My time is limited, but what time we have together will be sincere". If she is not reciprocating the interest or attention, you have better ways to spend your time. You aren't PUNISHING her per se, but rewarding the behavior you want her to exhibit. You aren't nonchalant, but you aren't needy and attentive either. When she invests through attention you turn on like a lightswitch. Be decisive.

There is a difference between :
"Hi Karen. I have time on Saturday to go do that thing you mentioned." versus "Oh I don't know, I guess..My whole weekend is wide open."

 

[DarkKnight]

Man, I sure dislike these tedious situations. I catch myself becoming insincere myself especially when there was another guy in between. At one point it's just too transactional. Do you even still like her? Or just out for practice? Because I have a feeling you do not really feel up for it. Otherwise you would not have passed up a date opportunity.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Fuck This dude! Thanks for the advice, that seems to resonate with me and sums up my general attitude anyway so will seem natural.

DarkKnight dude! Yeah I agree with ya especially if there's a guy in between, but after 2 - 3 months since going out with her it would be foolish to assume she hasn't met someone else. Then again with her very inexperienced behaviour maybe she doesn't meet a lot of people? (she works crazy night shifts in a crazy demanding job)

As for passing up the opportunity, I would have cancelled on anyone. I didn't know the extent of his condition an had to race up with my mum. That being said I don't like her enough to deal with the shit she's pulled several times I was just out for practice. Timing worked in her favour, I haven't been out for 6 weeks so hadn't been meeting other girls.

 

[DarkKnight]

Hey man, apology about the presumption about the hospital incident. I could have written a more well thought response.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

DarkKnight dude! Not a problem, thanks bro