How to be cold?

[Sub-Zero]

With all of this deep diving im doing, i seem to be developing an emotional attachment to some of these bitches. What makes it hard is that it happens to girls i don't sleep with, or girls i sleep with.

I actually care for these girls, and that is a weakness. I hate it, it makes me very emotional, i feel they care for me and we have a "connection", but these hoes don't give a damn about me.

I want to get rid of empathy and start treating this girls, like bodies, and nothing more. I can't be fallin in love with these chicks. It messes up my mind!

 

[Smith]

It's ok to feel some kind of emotion for another human being! What you're feeling is not "falling in love". You're confusing your emotions. What you're feeling is some kinda internal conflict from using "deep diving". When you deep dive another person, it's because you want to get to know them and get intimate. It doesn't work if you use "deep diving" purely as a technique without the emotional part of it. Otherwise, you would become bitter because it's not getting what you want. I would say empathy is a good strong trait of "alpha males", but it's coming from a place of unconditionally giving. If you "care" for someone, but hoping they would pay you back with affection, then you're coming from the wrong place. (Nice guy syndrome) You don't really care about these girls. You care about what you can get from them, i.e. affection and sex. Become a warm person is your solution. Not pretending to be warm so you can sleep with her. Actually become that guy.

 

[Drck]

You are doing good, remember, many times it is not you, it's them. The whole society puts girls on a pedestal, they are entitled, they think they deserve much better, they think they have much higher value than the guy - for doing shit themselves.

Look at it this way: what does she do for you? Chances are that she does nothing from the very beginning. What will she do for you as a long term GF or wife? Exactly the same, multiple fold of it. Yet you are doing everything, including emotional involvement, managing the whole relationship, worrying whether she likes you enough, thinking that you are not enough and you need to keep improving yourself for years, paying for dates and other stuff, beating yourself down if you miss one little window... Fuck that...

You are exactly right, every man should get pissed. It's not a job of a man to manage the relationship, it is job of the woman. They have brains for relationships, we don't. Let them worry about the relationship, vibes, deep diving, empathy and the other crap. I'll tell you one thing, there is nothing wrong with deep diving: Get your scuba diving license and enjoy your 70 feet dives in the ocean, no need to go deeper than that...

Is she working on improving herself so the guys like her as a person? Exactly. I don't mean just lipstick, hair, nails and sexy smiles, I mean working on the true personality - person who cares, person who is warm and replies to your messages, person who is empathetic, person who doesn't judge you, persons who returns interest, person who gives you a fair chance, person who ignores little mistakes that you do because she sees you as a real guy who is trying to get into her pants because you really like her....

No she doesn't, she doesn't have that valuable personality at all. She has no fucking personality and she could care less of yours.

Many if not most girls don't really have much to offer you except those sweet feelings and sex... Even those will be gone relatively soon as well...

Don't be a fool and ask yourself some questions with every girl you meet:
What does she bring to the table?
Does she worry whether you like her?
Can she sleep because she's thinking only about you?
Does she bring you stuff that you didn't ask for to please you?
Does she worry what to text you, how and when?
Does she worry if you reply or call back?
Does she make enough money to support herself?
Does she invite you out and pay for your meal or drink?
Does she think that you are the price, or just another annoying guy?
Does she show you some empathy, e.g. even politely reply that she is not interested?
Not even asking whether she will cook, clean and spent quality time on raising your children, but - does she invest ANYTHING AT ALL into the possible relationship?

If she does, great, she is a keeper. But chances are that she does NOTHING. You do all these things, you are investing into her, and you feel miserable because she doesn't even acknowledge your effort. Funny thing is, should you ask her she will give you much longer list of how the person should behave in relationship... she knows it very well, yet she still does nothing...

If I were you I would chew a Red Pill for some time to sharpen your mindset, and then come back to seduction...

-------------

Imagine a country where men stop putting females on pedestals. They would simply stop doing stuff for them, stop chasing them, stop buying stuff for them, stop building houses for them, stop worrying about how they feel, stop feeling sorry for them, stop giving a damn how they support themselves and where they live... stop feeling sorry for all the inequality, stop protecting them with law and other means...

That would be a total catastrophy for 99% of all the females out there, they could't survive without men. Two weeks on their own and they couldn't survive. They would start chasing every man, they would line up and patiently wait to really PROVE themselves to every single man they meet. They would master the seduction in no time, what takes three years for a guy to learn they would master it in one week... They would cook and clean without questioning, they would be pleasing, they would be very careful to say unpleasant stuff because they wouldn't want to feel the boot, they would suck your dick with slurpy sounds every single day just so YOU KEEP THEM...

Don't worry though, we don't have to worry about such society. There is plenty of fools out there who would never stop doing stuff for females just because they think they "need" them...

 

[Sub-Zero]

It's ok to feel some kind of emotion for another human being! What you're feeling is not "falling in love". You're confusing your emotions. What you're feeling is some kinda internal conflict from using "deep diving". When you deep dive another person, it's because you want to get to know them and get intimate. It doesn't work if you use "deep diving" purely as a technique without the emotional part of it. Otherwise, you would become bitter because it's not getting what you want. I would say empathy is a good strong trait of "alpha males", but it's coming from a place of unconditionally giving. If you "care" for someone, but hoping they would pay you back with affection, then you're coming from the wrong place. (Nice guy syndrome) You don't really care about these girls. You care about what you can get from them, i.e. affection and sex. Become a warm person is your solution. Not pretending to be warm so you can sleep with her. Actually become that guy.

Yeah, unfortunately i do care about these bitches, and i like to make them happy, cause it makes me happy that i can do that, all i do is give them good convo and dick. Im not pretending to be nice to get ass lol, it's just how i am, i actually have empathy, which sucks because they might not give a shit about me. Which puts me in a position of weakness, and im not weak.

Do you have any tips on being cold and not care about these bitches?

 

[Sub-Zero]

You are doing good, remember, many times it is not you, it's them. The whole society puts girls on a pedestal, they are entitled, they think they deserve much better, they think they have much higher value than the guy - for doing shit themselves.

Look at it this way: what does she do for you? Chances are that she does nothing from the very beginning. What will she do for you as a long term GF or wife? Exactly the same, multiple fold of it. Yet you are doing everything, including emotional involvement, managing the whole relationship, worrying whether she likes you enough, thinking that you are not enough and you need to keep improving yourself for years, paying for dates and other stuff, beating yourself down if you miss one little window... Fuck that...

You are exactly right, every man should get pissed. It's not a job of a man to manage the relationship, it is job of the woman. They have brains for relationships, we don't. Let them worry about the relationship, vibes, deep diving, empathy and the other crap. I'll tell you one thing, there is nothing wrong with deep diving: Get your scuba diving license and enjoy your 70 feet dives in the ocean, no need to go deeper than that...

Is she working on improving herself so the guys like her as a person? Exactly. I don't mean just lipstick, hair, nails and sexy smiles, I mean working on the true personality - person who cares, person who is warm and replies to your messages, person who is empathetic, person who doesn't judge you, persons who returns interest, person who gives you a fair chance, person who ignores little mistakes that you do because she sees you as a real guy who is trying to get into her pants because you really like her....

No she doesn't, she doesn't have that valuable personality at all. She has no fucking personality and she could care less of yours.

Many if not most girls don't really have much to offer you except those sweet feelings and sex... Even those will be gone relatively soon as well...

Don't be a fool and ask yourself some questions with every girl you meet:
What does she bring to the table?
Does she worry whether you like her?
Can she sleep because she's thinking only about you?
Does she bring you stuff that you didn't ask for to please you?
Does she worry what to text you, how and when?
Does she worry if you reply or call back?
Does she make enough money to support herself?
Does she invite you out and pay for your meal or drink?
Does she think that you are the price, or just another annoying guy?
Does she show you some empathy, e.g. even politely reply that she is not interested?
Not even asking whether she will cook, clean and spent quality time on raising your children, but - does she invest ANYTHING AT ALL into the possible relationship?

If she does, great, she is a keeper. But chances are that she does NOTHING. You do all these things, you are investing into her, and you feel miserable because she doesn't even acknowledge your effort. Funny thing is, should you ask her she will give you much longer list of how the person should behave in relationship... she knows it very well, yet she still does nothing...

If I were you I would chew a Red Pill for some time to sharpen your mindset, and then come back to seduction...

-------------

Imagine a country where men stop putting females on pedestals. They would simply stop doing stuff for them, stop chasing them, stop buying stuff for them, stop building houses for them, stop worrying about how they feel, stop feeling sorry for them, stop giving a damn how they support themselves and where they live... stop feeling sorry for all the inequality, stop protecting them with law and other means...

That would be a total catastrophy for 99% of all the females out there, they could't survive without men. Two weeks on their own and they couldn't survive. They would start chasing every man, they would line up and patiently wait to really PROVE themselves to every single man they meet. They would master the seduction in no time, what takes three years for a guy to learn they would master it in one week... They would cook and clean without questioning, they would be pleasing, they would be very careful to say unpleasant stuff because they wouldn't want to feel the boot, they would suck your dick with slurpy sounds every single day just so YOU KEEP THEM...

Don't worry though, we don't have to worry about such society. There is plenty of fools out there who would never stop doing stuff for females just because they think they "need" them...

I agree with everything you said, i am against putting bitches on a pedestal. Do you know any way that i can stop having empathy for these bitches?

 

[Franco]

Money,

It sounds like you might need some hard rules. Check out Chase's article to see what I mean:

• Nice People Need Hard Rules

- Franco

 

[Sub-Zero]

Money,

It sounds like you might need some hard rules. Check out Chase's article to see what I mean:

• Nice People Need Hard Rules

- Franco

Thanks Franco

 

[Drck]

IMO empathy and good feelings for girls (and people in general) are actually good, natural. You like females and there is nothing wrong with it, you naturally want to protect her and make her feel good. That is good. If nothing else it creates and keeps good vibes.

At the same time you want to manage these feelings, regulate them, decrease them to acceptable level. There is couple of ways to do it.

One way is to turn off those feelings directly, become emotionally cold by changing your belief system around. It works but it is not the best solution. You can actually become quite depressed and frustrated by doing that because going after females and try to connect with them is our natural drive in Life, and if you change it you will have to deal with bunch of other issues. It just creates more problems than solutions. You simply want to love females, and you want to fuck them as well, that is normal.

The other way is to leave those feelings as they are, yet focus on somethings else. This is IMO much better way:

Work on increasing Abundance Mentality. By simply focusing your feelings onto different women, they won't become so intensive or fixed only on one. If one female doesn't work out, you can easily focus on another one. Abundance Mentality is attractive, females love when the guy is around other attractive women.

Work on independence. You WANT women which is good, but you don't NEED them. Learn to be happy on your own, understand that females won't make you happy - you have to find your happiness on your own. This will make you more mature, and at the same time less dependent on women. You will be naturally more emotionally 'colder', which is also attractive.

Increase asshole-ness and assertiveness, decrease Nice Guy attitude. Learn as much as you can about Mr. "Nice Guy", then simply correct this behavior by not doing it. As mentioned before, read some Red Pill stuff, it changes the view on women, you will see them under different light. Another attractive thing.

Work on masculinity. There is just some good energy created by lifting weights, having good physique and doing masculine things. There is this rush of adrenaline which makes you feel good, makes you more confident and makes you more dominant. All attractive. Many guys don't do it because it requires effort and sweat. Exactly. That's what men need, we need struggle, we need to get out of the comfort zone by doing uncomfortable things. Our ancestors lived in nature for millions of years, physical activity and undergoing risks is simply natural. Yes, very attractive and healthy as well.

Control cognitively your emotional investment into girls. Learn signs and signals that she is sending out, learn those red flags, she sends plenty of them. Stop chasing and being involved as soon as you start noticing those red flags, it saves you lots of emotional pain.

Get rejected for purpose. Fuck it. Rejections are good, the pain is good in long term, it will make you stronger man, it will give you good attitude towards women. Don't avoid it. Go out for purpose, meet a hot and cute girl, have great vibes with her - and get rejected. Go after the same girl and get rejected again. Then one more time - that is how much you really care. Walk away with smile, learn to laugh at those rejections. Celebrate those rejections because 99% of men can't do it, you won by consciously going for rejection. Develop 'who cares' attitude, develop outcome independence, develop winner attitude - that is what really makes you different from those 99% men out there... Mastering rejection is actually quite important, once you remove the fear of rejecitons you don't have any problems approaching and interacting with girls, no matter how how their are... You always walk away like a winner, whether you sleep with her or not. Attractive? You bet...

See, you are doing the above for yourself, not for females. You simply leave the empathy and good feelings that you have for females there, and at the same time you focus your time on building your own (masculine) life. This way you will 'outgrow' those good feelings by becoming more independent, more mature... This way you will still have good vibes and good empathy, while at the same time you will be less emotionally attached to females because you are focusing on your own life... HUGE attraction, you will 'draw' females to your life, not the other way...

If you look at it from the point of view of 'masculine and feminine energies', currently your masculine energy (dominance, independence, emotional coldness,...) is low and feminine energy (nice feelings for her, emotions, love,...) is high. You are too much attached to females because of your feminine energy. You basically want to increase your masculine energy as described above, switch the balance while leaving the feminine energy the way it is...

 

[Sub-Zero]

IMO empathy and good feelings for girls (and people in general) are actually good, natural. You like females and there is nothing wrong with it, you naturally want to protect her and make her feel good. That is good. If nothing else it creates and keeps good vibes.

At the same time you want to manage these feelings, regulate them, decrease them to acceptable level. There is couple of ways to do it.

One way is to turn off those feelings directly, become emotionally cold by changing your belief system around. It works but it is not the best solution. You can actually become quite depressed and frustrated by doing that because going after females and try to connect with them is our natural drive in Life, and if you change it you will have to deal with bunch of other issues. It just creates more problems than solutions. You simply want to love females, and you want to fuck them as well, that is normal.

The other way is to leave those feelings as they are, yet focus on somethings else. This is IMO much better way:

Work on increasing Abundance Mentality. By simply focusing your feelings onto different women, they won't become so intensive or fixed only on one. If one female doesn't work out, you can easily focus on another one. Abundance Mentality is attractive, females love when the guy is around other attractive women.

Work on independence. You WANT women which is good, but you don't NEED them. Learn to be happy on your own, understand that females won't make you happy - you have to find your happiness on your own. This will make you more mature, and at the same time less dependent on women. You will be naturally more emotionally 'colder', which is also attractive.

Increase asshole-ness and assertiveness, decrease Nice Guy attitude. Learn as much as you can about Mr. "Nice Guy", then simply correct this behavior by not doing it. As mentioned before, read some Red Pill stuff, it changes the view on women, you will see them under different light. Another attractive thing.

Work on masculinity. There is just some good energy created by lifting weights, having good physique and doing masculine things. There is this rush of adrenaline which makes you feel good, makes you more confident and makes you more dominant. All attractive. Many guys don't do it because it requires effort and sweat. Exactly. That's what men need, we need struggle, we need to get out of the comfort zone by doing uncomfortable things. Our ancestors lived in nature for millions of years, physical activity and undergoing risks is simply natural. Yes, very attractive and healthy as well.

Control cognitively your emotional investment into girls. Learn signs and signals that she is sending out, learn those red flags, she sends plenty of them. Stop chasing and being involved as soon as you start noticing those red flags, it saves you lots of emotional pain.

Get rejected for purpose. Fuck it. Rejections are good, the pain is good in long term, it will make you stronger man, it will give you good attitude towards women. Don't avoid it. Go out for purpose, meet a hot and cute girl, have great vibes with her - and get rejected. Go after the same girl and get rejected again. Then one more time - that is how much you really care. Walk away with smile, learn to laugh at those rejections. Celebrate those rejections because 99% of men can't do it, you won by consciously going for rejection. Develop 'who cares' attitude, develop outcome independence, develop winner attitude - that is what really makes you different from those 99% men out there... Mastering rejection is actually quite important, once you remove the fear of rejecitons you don't have any problems approaching and interacting with girls, no matter how how their are... You always walk away like a winner, whether you sleep with her or not. Attractive? You bet...

See, you are doing the above for yourself, not for females. You simply leave the empathy and good feelings that you have for females there, and at the same time you focus your time on building your own (masculine) life. This way you will 'outgrow' those good feelings by becoming more independent, more mature... This way you will still have good vibes and good empathy, while at the same time you will be less emotionally attached to females because you are focusing on your own life... HUGE attraction, you will 'draw' females to your life, not the other way...

If you look at it from the point of view of 'masculine and feminine energies', currently your masculine energy (dominance, independence, emotional coldness,...) is low and feminine energy (nice feelings for her, emotions, love,...) is high. You are too much attached to females because of your feminine energy. You basically want to increase your masculine energy as described above, switch the balance while leaving the feminine energy the way it is...

Your stuff is on the money man. I laughing so hard when you pointed out the "feminine energy", i realize that is how im acting, like a bitch, in a sense. I gotta focus on increasing my masculine energy. I appreciate all of the help bro.

 

[Lotus]

Drck is on point.

Money, go read The Way of the Superior Man. I just bought it last weekend and I already have completely changed my outlook on women. Everything these guys say is great but the book really helps explain it on another level so you understand it as well.

It also talks about feminine and masculine energy

The book is immediately one of the most impactful books I've read and I'm not half way done.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Drck is on point.

Money, go read The Way of the Superior Man. I just bought it last weekend and I already have completely changed my outlook on women. Everything these guys say is great but the book really helps explain it on another level so you understand it as well.

It also talks about feminine and masculine energy

The book is immediately one of the most impactful books I've read and I'm not half way done.

Will definitely read it, appreciate it bro.