How to fit between the label of boyfriend or player - please advise

[hillshift]

First off, this site is the best tool I've ever seen - I have advanced from a typical dude trying to "get lucky" to somewhere in the "intermediate level" of the art we study on this site. Here's where I'm at:

I am either labeled as "boyfriend" or "player". Typically I am labeled boyfriend material. I have tried to counteract this by not showing too much value, being a little more forward, and overall showing a bit less "nice guy". I know when a girl is attracted to me, as a result I am extremely confident in many circumstances. Recently here twice I have had beautiful girls show a lot of interest but to no avail. One called me "cocky" but couldn't resist talking to me - then eventually dropped off from contact. She clearly thought I had a lot of other women and lost confidence, from the vibes she was throwing off before she fell off radar. (LABELED A PLAYER)

I was locked into deep eye contact with another beautiful woman, she was absolutely entranced. She admitted she smoked weed, that she loves fucking while high on weed, you get the idea. When I tried to move her out of the bar she resisted.

Me: Let's get out of here - go walk on the beach
Her: why?
Me: It will be nice, we can talk, make out, who knows!"
Her: I think you are just horny
(I could tell I was moving a bit too fast for her clearly at this point - I was pleasantly loose and drunk)
Me: It's possible, but perhaps we should get to know each other a little better then
Her: Yes, we should
....
I eventually left - though I did get her # - I had persisted so strongly that she gave me a flat out "no" lol ...


She never responded to text the next day when I recovered my phone, btw. One thing, I would have tried to setup a future date ahead of time and then texted her, but I was more focused on closing that night. She had me labeled more as boyfriend I was playing the short game.

It has been 3-4 days and now I've missed the window. I have already deleted her from my phone - no sense wasting more thoughts on her, aside from strategic considerations for future improvement...So offer up some tips please fellow students...

 

[Thedoctor]

hillshift,

Once you've handled your fundamentals and act a little sexier, you'll probably no longer end up in a girl's dreaded "friend zone". But then, it still means there are 3 other categories you may end up in:

Boyfriend: Not good for obvious reasons constantly mentioned on the site.
Player: Probably not good, unless the girl is very sexually liberated.
Lover: The zone we all aim to be at, consistently, with every girl.

Other than providing too much value, the other main thing that will condemn you to the boyfriend zone is not moving fast enough. In order to bypass this, some guys end up moving way too fast. This is where you end up in the "player" zone. Whereas the "lover" only moves a girl as fast as is possible, without her becoming uncomfortable. That's the idea behind being a "lover". The girl probably realizes you are good with girls, but the entire event just seems to happen naturally, as though it was fate. If you are too pushy, most girls will auto-reject. The thing to keep in mind is not every girl is ready to go home with you that same night, no matter what you do.

Just as everything else in life, you need to find that right balance so you're moving fast, but not so fast that she gets uncomfortable. You want to be appear smooth and effortless.

-Doc