How to get better at talking?

[Lord Byron]

Hey guys.

Over the years, I've built this construct for myself where I consider myself a listener. People frequently tell me that I'm the best listener they've ever spoken with, and I can get men and women to open up to me about very deep, intricate details about their lives within a short time frame. They relish my friendship/conversation because I make them feel special and heard.

The thing is, I want to be able to develop a silver-tongue to supplement my listening skills. I want to enchant and spellbind people with the stories I tell; I want to inspire people to reach their full potential; I want to learn to better lead the men and women in my life.

And while listening is such a huge element to effective communication, I know that I am lacking in the department of speaking. I have even acknowledged that I am not so confident in my speaking abilities, and am willing to put in the effort to change this.

Maybe, though, I am underestimating the power of being a solid listener.

Do you guys have any advice as to how I can gain more confidence and prowess in my speaking capabilities, that they would eventually match my listening skills?

Thanks!

 

[Inbocca]

Byron,

Congrats on being recognized as a great listener. As a seducer and as a person that people like, it's a valuable quality that few people really grasp to proficiency.

Obviously the way to get better at speaking is to practice doing it more, but to get truly great at it you'll want some outlets that give you good examples to follow and several opportunities to practice.

People who are in the upper echelons of society tend to be better at speaking and listening, so if you've got any opportunities to hang out with these people more, that would be a great way.

Toastmasters' meetings are good for getting critique on your speaking abilities, they help you project your voice better and capture audiences' attention, and if the other speakers are talented, you can have some good examples to learn from. Most of the higher-ranking people are more than willing to help others improve, and they're a great way to find networking opportunities in a wide variety of fields and industries. It's also good to help get rid of any stage fright you might have.

Local theaters and comedy clubs provide an outlet for creativity, vocal projection, public speaking, and you get to express a lot of different emotions and tell a lot of stories. It's also a ton of fun. Improv is better, helps you learn to tell stories while thinking on your feet.

Most helpful of all, find people you know who are good storytellers and make mental notes on how they do it. Don't hesitate to borrow stories, but how you tell them is more important than the story you're telling. The advice on this site can fill in the gaps, Chase has a few articles on the subject that detail the intricacies of being a good speaker.