How to get good with girls while having a GF

[CookMasterChef]

Hey guys Cook here and it's been a while. My question today is how can you get good at game and better yourself everyday when you have a gf. I want to stay with her but I don't want to give up approaching and perfecting my day game. What should I do to keep getting better at attracting girls while keeping my gf happy? You see she doesn't want me talking to any girls rather it be as friends or what and I don't want to lie to her. I just got caught talking to a bunch of girls yesterday and she was pissed. But we had some great sex afterwards. Anyways back to the point. My goal is to become a master seducer and I was making decent progress but now I feel as though I will be at a standstill because my main way of getting women was Day game and tinder. Both of which I can't use anymore. What do I do? Thanks guys

 

[Fuck This]

By being a good socializer. If you are "getting caught", then you did not include your girlfriend and she felt threatened. It is possible to project leadership and confidence with women without being gamey. You can create a social circle of "potential future options", as long as you respect your partner's feelings and include them. Yes, you risk that your girlfriend will develop a relationship with them and then you would be off limits post breakup, potentially...It is a risk you take.

You also develop male friendships in the same manner. Yes include the GF....What's good for the goose is good for the gander...

I've been amazed at the interest I've received from females in my social circles, once the memo was out I was single. Not really approaches per se, but indications of being open to an approach. Longer eye contact, IOI body language, initiated hugs, texts on Thursday and Fridays, etc.

 

[ProblemSolving]

It is my belief that a guy who is in a relationship with a girl and still feels the desire to hustle up more pussy then he probably settled for a less than ideal girl. In which case, it's probably better for the both of them if he ends the relationship early, so he play the field or go and find a girlfriend that genuinely excites him.

 

[JRob]

Hi Cook,

I'm in the same boat. I ended up with a gf while I was just making progress. I intuitively knew to do what Rocky is suggesting, but it's a work in progress. The bottom line is that you don't want to be on house arrest, and you don't want all of your social interaction to be with her. So socialize. I'm after a full balanced life. So that's the position that I take. Also, I bare in mind that we are all human, and that we do our best and sometimes find better options later. We shouldn't avoid making decisions or put blinders on either.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Cook and JRob,

you guys need to decide what you want. Being in a relationship with a girl is a very valid objective. Learning game and seducing girls is another valid objective. Decide and choose one or the other, but not both.

If you choose to learn game and seduce girls, then it's best to stay away from any serious relationship for now. This means that you need to hold your frame very strongly against hers when you get a new girl. Remember that it's in girls genes to try to rope you in, so you will have to hold strong against her attempts at commitment. The first thing to do is to make sure you guys meet infrequently (like once a week at most) after you first got her in bed. Also make sure you only meet her on your terms, always at your place, always fuck her, and avoid BF/GF things like cinema or restaurant. This way you keep her expectations low from the very beginning, and make yourself a lot of free time to meet other girls.

If you choose to be on a relationship with a girl, she will now be having very high expectations about you. If she finds out about you going after other girls, she will be disappointed, even hurt. Expect lots of drama. You could try to continue to game girls "under cover", but sooner or later she will find out. If you try to lower her expectations now, you will have a very hard time to do that without hurting her - expectations always go increasing. Much better to be 100 pct in your relationship instead. You can always return to game later.

Seems to me that you are trying to get the best of both worlds, but reality will eventually catch up.

Seppuku

 

[JRob]

Maybe I should clarify. I'm not advocating gaming, but I do think it's good to stay social. It's probably not great to fall back into relatively introverted behavior. I'm just talking about living life, and not beating up on one's self if one relationship fades in the course of living life. It's probably not great to dump all of your talk on to your gf either. Now with all of that said Seppuku has a point. It's better to be honest then caught being dishonest. Apologies if I've been ambiguous. Also there's no tone in text and I'm not trying to be combative or anything other then cheerful

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Go approach other girls. If your girl has explicitly told you not to talk to girls or something like that, that's a huge red flag in the power dynamics, because she's still going to get approached by guys. If she caught you talking to chicks, got pissed, and you did anything but lightly tell her that you were having fun or just smirk and ignore her, she dominated you. She's controlling you.

There's no substitute for actually approaching other women and sleeping with them, to be honest.

Hector

 

[ray_zorse]

It's something I'm struggling with at the moment I suppose. I remember 1+ years back writing about my r/ship issues and Franco writing something like "it sounds like you're wanting to have your cake and eat it too". So I suppose I gradually weaned myself off the idea of having other pussy, I was thinking about setting up a second pad and doing approaching in secret but it's just not worth it. Trouble is, you see hot women everywhere and it's impossible not to think about them. There's an argument that maybe anyone in an r/ship who is thinking about other girls has settled for less. Yes it's a valid argument. On the other hand I don't think there is such a thing as the perfect girl. My girl is really great in a lot of respects, we rarely fight and have similar ideas, she helps me a lot, I am still crazy about her looks and body, and she is fashionable and so on. On the other hand she seems to have somewhat of a jealous streak, and she doesn't really get the idea of socializing with new people, she is comfortable around her friends but tends to withdraw from other social events (parties or nightgame where she doesn't know people). Both of these things are pretty limiting in terms of the life I want to lead and the kind of partner I want to have. I feel like it is not really worth asserting myself by being the natural social and gregarious person I want to be, since it will cause problems in my relationship which I can't be bothered dealing with at the moment. So, something may have to change, but that might just mean I begin to assert myself more and carve out some time to go clubbing by myself or make new friends or whatnot. It doesn't necessarily mean I want to end the relationship, since we have children together and our family life is really great. But since I don't want to seduce other women at the moment (it would be deceitful, as well as unfair and hurtful to my partner) I'm not sure what my goals are socially. Although I had got into a really good approaching habit where I would do my first 3 approaches straight after leaving the house every day and then just keep it up from there... I cannot see the point of this if it's not leading to sex.
cheers, Ray
PS. There is one inescapable conclusion though: Work hard on your fundamentals. It is hard work, it requires long term commitment, it makes you feel good, and if you should split up down the track you want to have GREAT fundamentals.
PPS. Just rereading the thread I saw this from OP:

I just got caught talking to a bunch of girls yesterday and she was pissed. But we had some great sex afterwards.

This is something that has to be avoided at all costs -- rewarding drama. NEVER give makeup sex, indeed my girl recently had a bit of a meltdown which I handled like a boss, but just for good measure I decided to sleep downstairs for 2-3 days until I was certain everything had blown over before rewarding her with any sex. It's REALLY Important to keep this dynamic in mind.