My better senses tell me I should give it up, but I still think there's hope. So here's the story:
Met a girl on an overnight ski trip. She had just gotten out of a 3 year long-term relationship, so that might be important to consider. We both get along really great, and she invites me and another new friend I made to dinner and clubbing with a bunch of her friends the next weekend. So we do that, and well, some other guy she invited was hitting on her all night, so I leave them alone and get to know her other friends to make a good impression on them. They all oppose her getting with that other guy and I knew he wouldn't succeed anyways because he's the player type and she made it pretty known that she wasn't into that type [he didn't succeed].
Anyways, soon the girl initiated texting with me [we exchanged numbers upon our first meeting], and we text each other regularly, and I soon ask her out on a weekend. We live a bit away from each other, so we choose somewhere slightly closer to her than me [doesn't mean she doesn't take the time to travel either but I offered somewhere closer to me first and she said it was a bit far, she counteroffered someplace slightly closer to her, so at least I tried], we have fun the entire day, and at night I ask her if we could start going out as more than friends, basically dating. She said it's hard for her to see me as more than a friend and was wary of going into a serious relationship so soon after her breakup, but she was willing to give it a try.
We continue texting, I meet her again Tuesday a week and a half later [it's a holiday here in Japan, we're both foreigners here, and she didn't want to go out on the weekend], but just the day before she asked if she could bring along a friend. We meet up, and I do my best to pay them both attention and be the social butterfly [I just read the article on breaking circle now], and soon 2 of her other friends join us, and I did succeed in being the social butterfly, since they all liked me by the end. Throughout the day, the girl was nice though I noticed she seemed to talk a lot about the guys she's had to reject [but those guys sorta went crazy after her, she seems to attract all the wrong guys, besides me of course] and throwing a few remarks at me that seemed to test me for reactions. The girl and I stayed together for an hour after everyone else left, and then I ask her about meeting up on Valentine's Day before we part ways, but she avoids the question. Later on, I text her pressing her for a more direct answer, and then she's like she doesn't think this will work out, so she gives the "let's just be friends for now" text. But she REALLY wants to stay friends, I'm like alright, but the next day I send her a message [I told her to message me on Facebook cause that's where I contact my normal friends] saying that I want some distance so I can get over her romantically, it was a pretty long message too, probably not the best of ideas in hindsight. She messages back with a long message about how she was afraid of this but understands, and then a whole bunch of stuff that basically amounts to wanting me as her gay male BFF [my interpretation]. I just reply briefly, saying yeah sure we'll be casual friends. This was half a week ago. I've met another girl since then, perhaps even prettier than this girl, but I wasn't feeling the spark. Trying to convince myself that I can get over this girl only makes me think of her more, so maybe just giving myself a sliver of hope and leaving it at that while meeting other girls would stop me from thinking about her all the time.
Haven't talked with her since, but we're booked to be on the same ski trip 2 weeks from now, friends of hers and friends of mine are going too. Besides touching her on the arm and hugs, no real physical contact between us. The few friends I've told seem to think she's experienced at stringing guys along and tried to do so with me except I was too direct [needy?] and demanded too much effort on her part. As for myself, I'm a pretty good-looking guy but might not really have that sexual edge to me.
So is this situation salvageable? We both have something the other wants, she wants a whole lot of my attention without the commitment of being in a relationship and I want a romantic relationship, and I'm definitely not giving her the attention she wants if we're not official. How should I proceed?
Met a girl on an overnight ski trip. She had just gotten out of a 3 year long-term relationship, so that might be important to consider. We both get along really great, and she invites me and another new friend I made to dinner and clubbing with a bunch of her friends the next weekend. So we do that, and well, some other guy she invited was hitting on her all night, so I leave them alone and get to know her other friends to make a good impression on them. They all oppose her getting with that other guy and I knew he wouldn't succeed anyways because he's the player type and she made it pretty known that she wasn't into that type [he didn't succeed].
Anyways, soon the girl initiated texting with me [we exchanged numbers upon our first meeting], and we text each other regularly, and I soon ask her out on a weekend. We live a bit away from each other, so we choose somewhere slightly closer to her than me [doesn't mean she doesn't take the time to travel either but I offered somewhere closer to me first and she said it was a bit far, she counteroffered someplace slightly closer to her, so at least I tried], we have fun the entire day, and at night I ask her if we could start going out as more than friends, basically dating. She said it's hard for her to see me as more than a friend and was wary of going into a serious relationship so soon after her breakup, but she was willing to give it a try.
We continue texting, I meet her again Tuesday a week and a half later [it's a holiday here in Japan, we're both foreigners here, and she didn't want to go out on the weekend], but just the day before she asked if she could bring along a friend. We meet up, and I do my best to pay them both attention and be the social butterfly [I just read the article on breaking circle now], and soon 2 of her other friends join us, and I did succeed in being the social butterfly, since they all liked me by the end. Throughout the day, the girl was nice though I noticed she seemed to talk a lot about the guys she's had to reject [but those guys sorta went crazy after her, she seems to attract all the wrong guys, besides me of course] and throwing a few remarks at me that seemed to test me for reactions. The girl and I stayed together for an hour after everyone else left, and then I ask her about meeting up on Valentine's Day before we part ways, but she avoids the question. Later on, I text her pressing her for a more direct answer, and then she's like she doesn't think this will work out, so she gives the "let's just be friends for now" text. But she REALLY wants to stay friends, I'm like alright, but the next day I send her a message [I told her to message me on Facebook cause that's where I contact my normal friends] saying that I want some distance so I can get over her romantically, it was a pretty long message too, probably not the best of ideas in hindsight. She messages back with a long message about how she was afraid of this but understands, and then a whole bunch of stuff that basically amounts to wanting me as her gay male BFF [my interpretation]. I just reply briefly, saying yeah sure we'll be casual friends. This was half a week ago. I've met another girl since then, perhaps even prettier than this girl, but I wasn't feeling the spark. Trying to convince myself that I can get over this girl only makes me think of her more, so maybe just giving myself a sliver of hope and leaving it at that while meeting other girls would stop me from thinking about her all the time.
Haven't talked with her since, but we're booked to be on the same ski trip 2 weeks from now, friends of hers and friends of mine are going too. Besides touching her on the arm and hugs, no real physical contact between us. The few friends I've told seem to think she's experienced at stringing guys along and tried to do so with me except I was too direct [needy?] and demanded too much effort on her part. As for myself, I'm a pretty good-looking guy but might not really have that sexual edge to me.
So is this situation salvageable? We both have something the other wants, she wants a whole lot of my attention without the commitment of being in a relationship and I want a romantic relationship, and I'm definitely not giving her the attention she wants if we're not official. How should I proceed?
