How to have a more playful perspective about Day Game ?

[Julian]

Hello everyone.

I don’t know if it has been already discussed on the boards, or if there are articles about that.
I still haven’t already cold approched yet, and one of the thing that is holding me back is that I’m thinking too seriously, without any kind of pleasure or enjoyment in the perspective.

For example, I may suck at speaking Spanish, but I enjoy the process of learning it, because it is low pressure and results are guaranteed if I work sufficiently.

Since Day Game has asymmetric returns, and since I am un experienced, I won’t have have results soon to encourage myself to keep trying.

It would be ok, I think, if I managed to find fun in the seduction process, as it should be. Nonetheless, I can’t imagine, on a sunny saturday afternoon, telling myself

Hey, what a nice day, I want to go out and flirt with girls in the park.

Although I don’t come from a conservative family, I‘ve always considered seduction a serious business, in the perspective of gaining a girlfriend. Not something to be enjoyable, but rather a chore to go through before actually getting a girlfriend with whom I can connect and have fun.

Do you have any advice on how to let go and just enjoy the seduction with girls, whatever it may be the result?

 

[theReason]

Hey at least you have a goal dude, that’s great.

Most people here have no idea if they want a girlfriend, hookups, a wife, a rotation, fwb…

I’d focus on the fact you know what you want, rather than try to inject play into something that, fundamentally, you can get by on with only skill and no play if it suits your personality to do so.

It sounds like you are a serious guy, goal-oriented guy, just do that. Do some approaches on girls you would like as your girlfriend, just do that, do that and study some relationship game. So your first lay, as long as it ticks your boxes, can be your first gf (instead of fucking up the frame like a noob who doesn’t know relationship game).

 

[OldGuy]

Once you get over your approach fear, flirting will be enjoyable.

 

[Julian]

Thx for your answers!

Yeah, it won’t get easier simply by thinking it through. I’m just rationalizing my lack of courage about approaching.

I have to accept to suck at it at the beginning to get results eventually.

 

[theReason]

You’ll probably be surprisingly good at the beginning in at least one aspect (and you’ll consistently do well with that aspect after just a few approaches).

There’s always an aspect of pickup that you’re good at naturally… everyone has their own traits.

So basically don’t think it’s going to go poorly. Be prepared for extreme immediate success—it might happen, so be prepared for it. Be ready to be asked for sex after a few lines of dialogue. It’s fractally asymmetric. It’s equally asymmetric in every way, all the way down.

Embrace the suck but be ready for anything.

 

[Just a Man]

Although I don’t come from a conservative family, I‘ve always considered seduction a serious business, in the perspective of gaining a girlfriend. Not something to be enjoyable, but rather a chore to go through before actually getting a girlfriend with whom I can connect and have fun.

Do you have any advice on how to let go and just enjoy the seduction with girls, whatever it may be the result?

I would suggest un-thinking seduction as a chore on the way to getting a girlfriend because girls will often sense if you're finding it a chore - plus it makes the process rather joyless.

A way that might help is to get used to taking pleasure in flirting, basically as an end in itself, and not really worry about whether it's going to bag you a GF. A nice flirtation is a connection between two human beings in and of itself, even if it's only a passing moment. If it goes somewhere, great. But that's partly a numbers game.

Flirting is also something you can constantly be practising in all kinds of situations, even when you know it won't go anywhere. Flirt with women you'll never see again, just for fun: e.g. pretty girl at the airport bag drop desk when there's no queue and she's bored, and you're leaving the country. Very low pressure. Generally very pleasant (assuming you're not creepy about it), and can be very charming/sweet/funny/flattering. No cost if you bomb because there's nothing at all at stake. But it gets you in the headspace of just enjoying it and trying stuff out, light-heartedly.

I recall Chase says 'Always be flirting'. I like that. I'm in an LTR of over 20 years but I flirt whenever I can.