Socializing How to have an amazing social circle and social life after college?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I have heard repeatedly that college is the best time to make friends, dating, and everything. Unfortunately for me this was far from reality but I have also developed a lot in my time in college. When I graduate I will be in a new city and I want to do things differently this time. I look a lot better now than I did when I first came to college, I have much better social skills, I don't have any shyness, and I have slowly learned to be grateful and appreciate my life. Unfortunately this has all come too late for me as I haven't made the most of college and growing up I didn't have many friends either because my family moved a lot (from one state to the next).

How has your personal experience been with social life after college? How can a person have an amazing social circle after college?

Ideally I want to live the frat boy lifestyle after college.

 

[Marty]

Oh Pry:

Quick one—I was reflecting yesterday on my life so far, and if I had to name one mistake I made right after graduation, it was this.

I took a job with an industrial corporation, and although I followed a program of rotational assignments in multiple, varied locations, they were all in relatively isolated suburban or provincial places.

That limited my options severely, not only for romance and social questions, but for professional opportunities too.

If I had my time again, at that point I'd have accepted the offer to work with a major American bank in the City of London and taken it from there. The key is to be in a big city, despite all of the cost-of-living and urban transit disadvantages. The vistas opened, if properly exploited, outweigh all that. It's a simple question of networking and being where the action's at. I lost touch with a lot of my fellow alumni and am sure that this hampered me severely. Not to mention the fact that I acted from a place of scarcity in the question of romance, and got into a committed relationship at an age much too early for a man (26, this would be fine for a girl though).

Generally, it makes sense to go into the professions (law, business services, consulting, banking and so forth) for the earlier part of your career, both because those are the jobs with offices in big cities, and because you can always go into industry later... your expertise will be valued. Doing the reverse (I achieved that, temporarily) is very tough.

-Marty

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I did not understand the last part of your sentence. Also I don't think getting into a relationship at 25 or 26 is young for men, I get the impression that most hot women tend to disappear once you hit 30 because by then you are getting girls with baggage or girls way past their prime. That is just how I see it. I turn 21 soon and don't think I will ever be around as many hot girls as I have during college.

 

[Franco]

OP,

Ideally I want to live the frat boy lifestyle after college.

This one is pretty straightforward, actually.

You'll want to move into a house nearby a college bar area within walking distance. The next best thing you can do is make sure your roommates like to go out to the bars all the time to kick it with friends or meet women. Through them, you should be able to network and meet cool guys/hot girls who like to go out all the time.

This only issue with this lifestyle is that you might need to move several times to find roommates that you really click with. A lot of times you'll get guys who are just messy, don't pay rent, or have other issues that make your life suck. But if you end up with some good roommates, you'll be in for a very good time.

I have heard repeatedly that college is the best time to make friends, dating, and everything.

This is always from guys who partied a lot in college and then didn't know how to socialize outside of that small circle after graduating. I had an amazing time in college, yet I can say with complete honesty that my time after college has been even better. But it's up to you to make it that way. If you decide to not go out and meet new, cool people, then your life after college will certainly become mundane.

EDIT: If you're skeptical, then it might help to let you know that I was in a social frat. I went to frat/sorority exchanges, house parties, and bars all throughout college. I know what college partying is, so I also know that it's only the best time of your life if you don't know how to make time after college become the best time of your life.

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Franco you have so many good life experiences to share. My problem is that I am having issues finding friends now who want to live that party lifestyle. Most of the guys who are into it are in fraternities and since I am not in one they don't really let me into their lifestyle, and it is too far along for me to join anyways. Can this lifestyle or something similar to it be emulated in a big city environment or is a college town like Madison or Gainesville a place where it would have to be done?

 

[Verisimilitude]

I know what college partying is, so I also know that it's only the best time of your life if you don't know how to make time after college become the best time of your life.

Could you expand a little bit more on that Franco? How do I go about meeting new people and continue to make the most of my life after college? Are there any specific events or things that I should do to create a good social circle?

 

[Franco]

Can this lifestyle or something similar to it be emulated in a big city environment or is a college town like Madison or Gainesville a place where it would have to be done?

Sure. Although the fraternity lifestyle is only going to be emulated if you live in a college town with bars nearby (preferably walking distance). That's where you'll get guys who graduated from a nearby college and are still partying at the bars and meeting college women or women in their early 20s.

With the "big city" environment, it's going to be a bit tougher to form a social circle. If you were to move, you could place on your advertisement that you're a guy who likes to go out to clubs and bars and that you're looking for a roommate who does the same. If you're fundamentals are good and you've worked on your social skills enough, you can also just go alone to bars or clubs and shoot up some conversation with some chill-looking guys and try to get to know them. It won't always pan out, but if they like your style, you can swap numbers and hit each other up to hang out.

How do I go about meeting new people and continue to make the most of my life after college? Are there any specific events or things that I should do to create a good social circle?

It depends what type of people you want to meet. I wanted to party and listen to my favorite DJs spin electronic music at big events, clubs, or music festivals. I found it really easy to meet new people at these events as these are essentially social gatherings with people there for the same reason. So the best way to meet new people who you will vibe well with is to go to the places that you enjoy going to or do the things you enjoy doing and meeting new people there with the same interest by striking up conversations with them and seeing if it goes anywhere. If you get a number swap, you potentially open up an entire circle of friends to meet and hang out with.

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Golden advice from Franco as usual, unfortunate that I did not get a chance to read it before.