How to know if you are just in a bad, terrible, or close minded environment?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I talked to TheWiseFool in a recent thread of mines where I talked about being harassed for being in a relationship with a girl most of Western society would see as attractive (blonde and beautiful). Now something has always bothered me and this is an issue affecting a friend of mines who is stuck in a small town in Texas (he is Mexican) where he says segregation happens quite often and is pretty clear.

Now we never really talk about this but I have noticed that some places in America have more hate, bigotry, and racism than other places do. Yet these days the hate is not out loud to the point people call you slurs, it is more silent in the sense that if you approach a girl who happens to look different from you, people get very uncomfortable with it.

I understand that issues in terrible environments hurt everyone but for men of minority backgrounds it can lead to some very undesirable situations and limited options. One man I met is a Black man in small town Arkansas, good looking guy (no homo), and he told me how a lot of the girls who were White and attractive would end up risking their entire reputation and even life if they were to be seen with a Black guy.

Then again I can also see this being a crutch. Guys will use excuses for their lack of success in a given environment rather than actually taking action but there could be cases where a guy could make himself the best man possible and still fail due to looking different from the norm and not fitting the ideal in a close minded culture.

 

[Thinkingenigma]

While not along racial lines, this kind of thing happened all the time back at my school. Being an atheist at a conservative Christian college in the South, I faced a ton of resistance from girls to the idea of dating, and it wasn't uncommon for other people to try to sabotage my relationships with girls because they thought that they were "protecting" them from me. On multiple occasions, I had girls tell me that someone had "warned" them about me when they learned we were going out. One person even went so far as to get the girl's pastor involved as well as a school counselor. Obviously, trying to get better with women in this environment was not the easiest, but in the end, it turned out well for me. Now that I'm in LA, it's like playing the game on easy. I can't even imagine how simple it will be once I have a great body to work with (right now I'm skinny fat, but I'm working on it). It's like running with ankle weights. It's not easy while you're doing it, but afterwards, you're a lot stronger for it.

Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not you are going to let your life be dictated by your environment. It's not always a looks thing, but it IS always an effort thing. If you put your mind to it, you can overcome just about any obstacle!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Thinkingenigma:

I do think that what you talk about could be a possibility for some men out there but from the way I see it, growing up in a highly unfavorable environment could potentially screw you up in the long run and does more harm than good. Guys who are good with women have a certain confidence to them and a mindset which makes them attractive along with some other things (looks, status, style, etc.). That mindset is developed during their teenage years and early 20s when they are in their prime for socializing. Over the years I have met people from other parts of the country, particularly the south (which tends to be the worst place to improve your game it seems) and hear the things they have to go through.

What I think it does is it poisons your mindset and the way you view the world. Certain thoughts become habits and when you do get to that better place you are constantly doubting yourself and have low self-confidence compared to a guy who was raised in a very receptive area where he didn't have to deal with such issues. Plus what you go through during your teenage years and to an extent early 20s does set a precedent for the coming years of your life and it takes effort to reverse those beliefs.

From what I have heard of the south, the strict culture seems to be unreceptive to game and the racism that might go on limits guys of minority groups who are trying to better themselves. Compare that to a guy who grew up in a progressive area which is receptive to game and he will get a giant boost early on in life.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

While not along racial lines, this kind of thing happened all the time back at my school. Being an atheist at a conservative Christian college in the South, I faced a ton of resistance from girls to the idea of dating, and it wasn't uncommon for other people to try to sabotage my relationships with girls because they thought that they were "protecting" them from me. On multiple occasions, I had girls tell me that someone had "warned" them about me when they learned we were going out. One person even went so far as to get the girl's pastor involved as well as a school counselor. Obviously, trying to get better with women in this environment was not the easiest, but in the end, it turned out well for me. Now that I'm in LA, it's like playing the game on easy. I can't even imagine how simple it will be once I have a great body to work with (right now I'm skinny fat, but I'm working on it). It's like running with ankle weights. It's not easy while you're doing it, but afterwards, you're a lot stronger for it.

Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not you are going to let your life be dictated by your environment. It's not always a looks thing, but it IS always an effort thing. If you put your mind to it, you can overcome just about any obstacle!

Though I loved the purpose behind the post, I disagreed with the idea of it. If a guy gets more than enough rejections and learns the hardway that he isn't good enough to women because of something like his ethnic makeup then I see it crushing his confidence and giving him limiting beliefs as opposed to helping him. Most guys just can't handle that much stress and would probably settle.

After talking to some of my more foreign friends I count it as a blessing that I was born White because even though most girls might not be awed by me, I do have a bigger market I can appeal to anywhere in the USA. I also had good role models in my life to show me the way and lift me up as things seemed depressing. Sure I had my struggles but along the line I would also make friends that would help me overcome those struggles and shed some positivity in my life.

I cannot imagine being in a bad location, not having any friends that were helpful, and constantly being reminded that my ethnic makeup is a setback.

 

[Thinkingenigma]

While not along racial lines, this kind of thing happened all the time back at my school. Being an atheist at a conservative Christian college in the South, I faced a ton of resistance from girls to the idea of dating, and it wasn't uncommon for other people to try to sabotage my relationships with girls because they thought that they were "protecting" them from me. On multiple occasions, I had girls tell me that someone had "warned" them about me when they learned we were going out. One person even went so far as to get the girl's pastor involved as well as a school counselor. Obviously, trying to get better with women in this environment was not the easiest, but in the end, it turned out well for me. Now that I'm in LA, it's like playing the game on easy. I can't even imagine how simple it will be once I have a great body to work with (right now I'm skinny fat, but I'm working on it). It's like running with ankle weights. It's not easy while you're doing it, but afterwards, you're a lot stronger for it.

Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not you are going to let your life be dictated by your environment. It's not always a looks thing, but it IS always an effort thing. If you put your mind to it, you can overcome just about any obstacle!

Though I loved the purpose behind the post, I disagreed with the idea of it. If a guy gets more than enough rejections and learns the hardway that he isn't good enough to women because of something like his ethnic makeup then I see it crushing his confidence and giving him limiting beliefs as opposed to helping him. Most guys just can't handle that much stress and would probably settle.

After talking to some of my more foreign friends I count it as a blessing that I was born White because even though most girls might not be awed by me, I do have a bigger market I can appeal to anywhere in the USA. I also had good role models in my life to show me the way and lift me up as things seemed depressing. Sure I had my struggles but along the line I would also make friends that would help me overcome those struggles and shed some positivity in my life.

I cannot imagine being in a bad location, not having any friends that were helpful, and constantly being reminded that my ethnic makeup is a setback.

It's definitely tough, and I'm not saying that guys shouldn't move to an area that's better for them, but at the same time, you can't let it become an excuse. If you go there, it doesn't matter where you are, you still aren't going to have success. Bottom line, game and self-improvement are about working with what you've got, and finding different ways to improve your situation, whether it be looks, social savvy, or location. Moving to a different place is a perfectly valid solution. Just don't think that it will automatically solve all your problems. You still have to work on yourself in the meantime.