Socializing how to know if your high value or low value

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone, I'm new to Girls Chase and I'm eager to learn more about social interaction, seduction, and such.

I'm a sophomore in high school and I don't really have any friends(guys or girls) nor are any girls attracted to me anymore.

I'm quiet a lot and aloof too and most of the time at school I'm seen alone or maybe as a loner. Other people say I'm somewhat distant.

I was just wondering is it bad to be too aloof or to be seen at your school is a loner? Does this make you high value or low value socially?

Any answers would be appreciated. thanks

 

[PrettyDecent]

Heya Kj,

Really cool to see you wanting to improve yourself socially, especially being so young as a sophomore in high school! Jesus, you're the age of my little brother...

If you've ever done a deep exploration of this site, then you've probably found the article on spezzatura and the Law of Least Effort. If not, I'll give a brief excerpt from "How to make Girls Chase": Social Power

Generally speaking, the person with the greatest amount of Social Power is the individual who gets the greatest amount of attention with the least amount of effort. A few examples:

• Someone who expends a lot of effort but gets little attention
appears strange, creepy, or socially inept.

• Someone who gets a lot of attention, but at the expense of a
lot of expending effort , can be viewed as an attentionseeker,
or an entertainer at best.

• Someone who gets a lot of attention, while seemingly
expending little effort , comes off as attractive and desired.

• Someone who neither expends effort nor receives attention
can be either invisible, or can sometimes seem mysterious
and intriguing (since most people in social situations are
competing for attention).
The rule of expending the least amount of effort – the Law of Least
Effort – extends to every different kind of socializing category there is.

Essentially, if you put in a low amount of effort into your interactions, then you're technically halfway there. What's important is that you start gaining attention and successfully demand compliance. From personal experience, in high school, I started to "peacock" with my fashion and I started to lightly engage people in other social "cliques". After a month or two, I was part of the "jock" and "burnout" groups, even though previously I belonged exclusively to the "musician" group.

If you read those articles on spezzatura and Law of Least Effort, you should be well on you're way there, brother.

Jake

 

[DanBloom]

Yeah I agree with Jake. Whichever group you decide on joining there will be
an "unofficial" probationary period. The more social status the group has the longer
this period will be.

Ideally you'd want to think "hmm what value can I give to this group? What niche can I fill for this group that
would make me needed in it?"

For example for me I'm hardly ever the Alpha when things are going fine. I don't want nor do I fill that role well. But when
things go bad Im good at supporting and taking over control (to get the group back on track). That's the niche I fill in. I also
fill in the 'travel stories' niche and exciting adventures to the group(s) I hang out with.

What niche would you naturally fill in?

Dan

 

[AsianPersuasion]

I think I can relate to you here. I spent my middle school life friendless and in a state of depression. I broke out of my rut in high school because people suddenly decided I was cool for my individuality, but my barriers on close connections really haven't been broken down. My barriers from making new friends only broke after I encountered this site, and you could say I've become the guy who has a lot of friends and no real ones.

The way I see it is you should just get yourself into the spotlight with your own unique traits. If you don't exactly fit in, help yourself stand out. Instead of a loner, you sort of get this legendary status in school as THAT guy. If you manage your fundamentals well, and bring your individuality out for all to see, it has both perks and disadvantages.
On the downside, this gets lonely at times, especially at school events

On the upside, this allows you plenty of room to improve yourself in any way you want. Nobody will be there to tell you you shouldn't change this or shouldn't change that. You're one of the few people in high school that can get away with a bit of reimaging. Also just about every group will be receptive to you because you'll be the one individual not in a clique and therefore neither with them nor against them. Finally, it becomes easier to avoid drama around you, and the girls know that.

This style of doing this isn't for everyone, but it's the way I turned being the weird kid into being the individual. I'm not really a clique person anyway and love that I have access to just about anyone. Hope that helps!
- AP