Date Plans How to not pay for dates (101 on how to save money while still being a gentleman)

[POB]

"You should always split the bill so 304s will not take advantage of you"
G-zus if sometimes red pill guys are retarted when it comes to dates.

Let's analize a little bit what this "I'll never pay for dates" mantra will acomplish for you:
- she will think you are not a "gentleman";
- you'll come up as socialy uncalibrated;
- it can generate attrition and unecessary drama;
- kills momentum;
- creates asd;

I'm not saying you should throw your money away with women...or take them out to fancy dinners (by this point you should know it doesn't work).
What I'm trying to tell you is that there are better ways to keep a gentleman frame without anyone taking advantage of you or for you to be caving to bullshit societal rules.

So here is the step-by-step for this to work:

1) plan ahead
I'll not get into much detail about why guys fuck up dating.
It's mandatory that you:
- pick the correct place (give her a list of 3 places and let her choose, never agree to a place she choses)
- pick the time (and acount for her being 5-15 minutes late)
- choose a location where you can bounce her 3 times, then pull her to your place OR
- set up a 2/3-date scenario

2) pick the correct location
Now this is CRITICAL if you don't wanna pay for your dates!
Never pick a place where you can order whole foods, sandwichs, snacks or alcohol
This means you should avoid:
- bars
- restaurants
- fast food
- street fairs

The places you could pick are basically:
- coffee shops
- delis
- mall gardens

3) pick the correct time
Usually this strategy works better after dinner (7-9pm) or just after lunch (3-4pm), just because people are already full by that time.
Don't have to say you should avoid like the plague lunch and dinner times.

The strategy:
A-) After she chose the place from your list and agreed on the time, here's the set up.
- you won't mention food or drinks on your soft-close texting. What you say is: "I know this cool cozy place where we can seat and talk".
- you always make it clear that the set up is going to take place AFTER a big meal "yeah let's meet AFTER lunch, how about 3pm?".
- usually it's better to choose a place with tables outside, or at least a reserved area where you can sit outside the cashier's view.
- if the place has only one cashier that also has to tend to the tables, it's a good sign.
- some malls have great food plazas and outside gardens...use them!

B-) you are going to arrive to the date with a drink in hand. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's not alcohol (water, energy drink, gatorade, whatever).

C-) you gonna greet her....maybe hug and kiss her on the cheek, then sit with your drink in hand, and IMEDIATELLY start the date. Do not wait for anyone to come and take your order. Just naturally start the conversation...pretend you own the fucking joint and it's your right to be there.

D-) if anyone comes to your table to take your order, just say you are ok for now. Do not feel pressured to order anything just because you asked her out. If she orders anything, that's ok too. Just be polite and smile, say you'll finish your drink first.

E-) proceed with the date. When it's time to bounce her (or end the date), just say you had a great time but it's time to go. When the bill arrives, you will probably still be with your bottle in hand. She'll have no choice but to pay for it herself (after all, it was probably something very cheap like a coffee or slice of cake). Do not make any move to pay, do not order the bill, make zero push towards it. Chances are she will probably just stand up and pay without a word.

F-) if she makes no movement towards it after 1-2 minutes, just keep talking normally, then excuse yourself to the bathroom. If when you come back the bill is not payed yet, then you pay for it yourself (and take it as a yellow flag she will give you a bit of work to bed). But if you did everything right, chances are really slim it's gonna happen.

There you go gents!
I stumbled accross this strategy by accident when I went on a date, got entangled in an amazing conversation with a girl and kinda of "forgot" to order anything lol. It was on a coffee shop: the waitress came, we said we were ok for now and she never bothered us again. We just got up and left without me spending a dime.

As always, questions and comments are very welcome!
~POB

 

[Witcher]

I developed my own method as well when I was trying to figure out the best way to handle the "Who Pays" part of the date, I explained it in this thread.

It was a thing that I struggled with and I came with the following strategy. What I do is to get that paying issue out of the way as soon as possible so it doesn't disturb the date. So I do dates in places where we pay at the moment of the order, like Starbucks, This way weather I pay or she pay is already taken care of and will not generate any friction when we have to leave the venue.

I usually order for both of us and spontaneously pay, I noticed that since its the beginning of the date she will be okay by any scenario since people are nicer at the beginning of the interaction, It also gives you a good idea about the girl from the get-go.

You can also play it by letting her go before you "ladies first" and she will most likely pay for herself. Another thing is that in this kind of venue if she wants another drink or food she will go by herself and pay by herself. It will be very weird for her to tell you "give me money for the second coffee.

I initially made this one to remove that awkward moment when we leave the place and have to stop at the cashier and pay. It breaks the momentum and it's always awkward whether you pay, she pays or you split. I prefer that the payment part be already handled at the start of the date, so none of us worry about it and we can focus on each other and when we can leave the place directly when things get good!

However, I discovered that it can be used so that anyone pays for himself. The trick is that one of you has to arrive later than the other. So if I'm the first one to reach the coffee shop and she texts me that she's going to be late, I will wait for her there and order my drink, when she arrives she will go and order for herself, she can't come and ask you to pay for her. If I am the one who is going to be late, I tell her to order for herself meanwhile.

Also, I noticed that most girls will always pay for the second round if I pay for the first one. If they don't, you have a yellow flag.

That was my two cents.

 

[POB]

I developed my own method as well when I was trying to figure out the best way to handle the "Who Pays" part of the date, I explained it in this thread.



I initially made this one to remove that awkward moment when we leave the place and have to stop at the cashier and pay. It breaks the momentum and it's always awkward whether you pay, she pays or you split. I prefer that the payment part be already handled at the start of the date, so none of us worry about it and we can focus on each other and when we can leave the place directly when things get good!

However, I discovered that it can be used so that anyone pays for himself. The trick is that one of you has to arrive later than the other. So if I'm the first one to reach the coffee shop and she texts me that she's going to be late, I will wait for her there and order my drink, when she arrives she will go and order for herself, she can't come and ask you to pay for her. If I am the one who is going to be late, I tell her to order for herself meanwhile.

Also, I noticed that most girls will always pay for the second round if I pay for the first one. If they don't, you have a yellow flag.

That was my two cents.

This is a nice strategy!!!
(I've used it myself)
There's a very nice starbucks inside a mall close to my place.
They also have an outside garden with tables (the ideal location for the first bounce).

But mine works if you are not willing to pay for anything, and don't wanna come accross as uncalibrated.

 

[Witcher]

1) plan ahead
I'll not get into much detail about why guys fuck up dating.
It's mandatory that you:
- pick the correct place (give her a list of 3 places and let her choose, never agree to a place she choses)
- pick the time (and acount for her being 5-15 minutes late)
- choose a location where you can bounce her 3 times, then pull her to your place OR
- set up a 2/3-date scenario

What I find also interesting @POB is the give her a list of 3 places. Is it to give some illusion of choice, so she doesn't propose something bad? Can you share an example of how you make such proposition over text?

 

[POB]

After she agreed to the date:
"I have three fantastic places that I like!
Would be great if you choose your favorite for us."
Send her the links.

 

[Witcher]

I just used it with a girl. Thus wai I could propose one great place but where she may refuse since it's a little bit far, and another one less great but easier since it's a cafe downtown. WIN-WIN.

 

[Skills]

After she agreed to the date:
"I have three fantastic places that I like!
Would be great if you choose your favorite for us."
Send her the links.

Too much, tell her to meet any coffee shop, in there you lead and take her were you want....this is only done if the hint of hungry and the likes (which is unusual btw 1 out of 15) once you are in person... also i dont know what is the big deal of 10 bucks for a drink i litteraly 10x that once with a girl....there will be a segment of women that will know what is happening...i feel the focus and strategy should be banging the girl no saving 10 bucks... nobody cheaper than me in the forum a lot guys will totally fuck this up...now once you have bang yeah i do all types of things like this no to pay or have her pay... but pre bang focus on the lay no saving couple of bucks....now if she is clearly a bitch, or a girl demanding for you to pay different story...

 

[Lantern]

Café dates are quite normal where I'm from, and I find them enjoyable, and would pretty much always pay, ideally if she goes to the bathroom during the date I'll call the waiter over and settle the bill. When she says "we should pay" you just say "It's taken care of". Sometimes girls will protest like they want to pay their share or something to which I normally say "You can pay next time" with a smile. A coffee or some drink for her is really peanuts to be bothered much about this issue.

Another cheap, fun and not that typical date, for warm weather, is grab an ice-cream in hand for both and go for a walk in a nice park/nature area, eventually find a bench (as isolated as possible, plus benches force you both to sit close to each other, moreso then a cafe/bar etc) keeping in mind the logistics (bounce to hers/yours potentially etc).

 

[MarioTheDom]

If you can't pay for a date (ok in the US even couple of drinks are more expensive) you should have a different date strategy, one that probably includes your hobbies

No D&D doesn't work

 

[Skills]

If you can't pay for a date (ok in the US even couple of drinks are more expensive) you should have a different date strategy, one that probably includes your hobbies

No D&D doesn't work

Obviously in the research you will take to a place were drinks not expensive out of multiple dates i only had 1 girl that order more than 1 drink, its unlikely...

 

[MarioTheDom]

Yeah I mean, logistics are ENTIRELY under your control.

if you fuck them up, it's you.