How to put yourself in the best position when you hit life after college

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Very soon I will be done with what has been a miserable college experience when it has come to girls. My biggest regret was not being in a fraternity at a private university where frat life is huge, most of this has been due to financial problems but also because I was not able to find the time to balance it all out. Needless to say I spent most of my college years as a sexless loser who was miserable, bitter, and stressed.

It sometimes makes me cry when I read about how college is supposed to be the best time of your life for getting laid and you will never see hotter girls your entire life as you will in college but I guess fate had different plans for me. My university had a lot of hot girls from upper middle class areas and I just could not connect with them at all. Most of them treated me like shit and made me feel like shit for even talking to them. Had some luck with foreign exchange students and girls from minority groups (seeing that I am a minority myself) but they were a small segment of the population.

When I hit life after college I want to to achieve the following social goals:

1. Find a group of cool guys to be friends with.
2. Do a lot better with girls who are White, American, and attractive.

How can I put myself in the best situation to succeed?

 

[Eric]

Become COMPLETELY independent of social circles.

I did this a year ago, and it was the best thing I had ever done. I became a hermit, literally, and went stag. No friends, 0, and worked on my seduction skills.

Now I ONLY meet new women from the street, or the gym, and by going throughout my day. I don't really even bother going to bars or clubs, honestly.

I have the ability to replace and meet tons of women, and it's all in my control. No need for waiting for women to pop into my life, I'll just find them in a day or two if I desire. High quality women too (models, dancers, performers, adventurers). But doing this was hard, I had to face a lot of rejection, isolation, and it's pretty extreme of a measure. It gets you hungry though. There's no comparison for the mentality shift it has on your life. People will explain to me how they are "working" a girl that is giving them trouble, and I'm just like.. Why? I don't understand. Just ping the girl one last time, disappear, and find a couple more to date. Then I ask how they meet girls and it's always "well she's a friend of a friend". They simply CAN'T find a new one so easily.

It really gives you a lot of free time as well. Ricardus did this, he had an article (that I can't seem to find) where he explains how he streamlines his dating life and goes through droves of numbers.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Well how awkward is it to go out to bars alone though from your experience? Doesn't it show low value and low status?

 

[Ross]

college is supposed to be the best time of your life for getting laid and you will never see hotter girls your entire life as you will in college

Not much truth to this. In fact, I'm willing to bet that most people who say that college is the best time of your life probably had too much fun in college, and weren't too focused on improving life for the future. Hence why they constantly say college was the best time of their lives, because they didn't set up for the future. I personally try to improve upon my goals every day so that I'm either happy or working toward happiness. That's the best we can do.

Most of them treated me like shit and made me feel like shit for even talking to them.

This is a case of victim mentality - I'd advise that you stop painting yourself as the victim of women being cruel, and you'll stop being one. A guy could feel like shit if he approached a woman and she didn't want to talk with him, but is that her fault? Maybe she wasn't in the mood to talk to every guy that approached her. Maybe your fundamentals weren't good enough, or you weren't warm enough. It's certainly not her fault that you feel like shit. It's likely that you feel like shit because you hold standards in your mind that you should be better, but you are not, thus you feel bad. The only cure for this is action, which breaks out of the trap that is a depressive circle of blaming others or yourself.

To get over this, it's ideal that you remind yourself that other people aren't in charge of your emotions, until the memory is implanted in your mind. Woman starts calling you stupid and ugly? No need to get defensive. Imagine what Gene Simmons would say in response to people saying he's "ugly". He'd laugh, because he knows that he doesn't need to be some pretty boy to get women. If a woman says you're ugly (very rare), then you could easily laugh in the face of that challenge and that frame and break through it, because you know that you are doing your absolute best towards becoming physically attractive, and her attempts to make you feel bad would become useless, because the emotions stem from within yourself.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Ya I am having a very hard time escaping the victim mentality, in fact I cannot escape it. The main thing that has been frustrating me has been my race. Most of these girls are White and I am a brown (desi) dude. I have never seen a guy of my background have success with these kind of girls and it hurts me a lot mentally. Then for some reason that makes me want these girls even more because I am one of those guys who wants to just experience success in places he has failed before.

 

[Franco]

Oh Pry,

Ya I am having a very hard time escaping the victim mentality, in fact I cannot escape it. The main thing that has been frustrating me has been my race. Most of these girls are White and I am a brown (desi) dude. I have never seen a guy of my background have success with these kind of girls and it hurts me a lot mentally.

You are coming at this from the wrong direction, and I'll explain exactly why. The reason you see very few brown men doing well with women has VERY little to do with what women are attracted to and MUCH more to do with the culture and background that most brown men are brought up in. By culture, most brown men are brought up in a very restrictive environment, and it actually hampers their ability to become strong, sexually attractive men. It's hard to put the blame on your parents because your parents are just doing what their parents did for them and are just passing down the culture. It makes it difficult to expand your horizons when you are extremely limited in your options. If you talk to most other guys of Asian ethnicity about their families, you will hear the same thing: their parents are strict, and it makes it hard for them to have fun and expand.

This also affects brown women in a similar way. I actually used to have a thing for brown women -- I think they are gorgeous. There have been several times I've approached them hoping to make something happen, but after speaking with them, I realized how closed off their world really is. All of this has to do with upbringing, and it's the reason I rarely see brown women at bars or nightclubs when I go out. They are simply not brought up in a way that allows them to experience different things and have the freedom that white or latina women do (for example). It's a shame, too, because the people of brown descent are, in fact, attractive. As a matter of fact, I remember watching the TV show "Heroes" with my mom back in the day, and I remember her making a comment about how attractive Mohinder Suresh was (in the show). I mention this because I recall you referring to him in another thread.

So my point here is that your mental block is coming from the wrong angle. You assume that brown men don't have success with white women because you don't see any brown men with white women, but it has very little to do with attraction and much more to do with those brown men not building themselves into attractive men that these white women desire.

Then for some reason that makes me want these girls even more because I am one of those guys who wants to just experience success in places he has failed before.

With all of the above being said, then yes, I encourage you to break the mold. I guarantee you that the only reason the other brown men you see aren't doing well with white women is that they almost all have the same mentality as you do right now: they don't see any success from other brown men, so they assume that white women aren't interested in them.

Be the outlier, and improve yourself to the point of success.

EDIT: I have a very good buddy of mine named Amrit who does extremely well with white women. He's had multiple white girlfriends, and he loves white women. However, his demeanor is very different from most brown men -- he loves to go out and drink and party, but he also dresses very well, has great fundamentals, and is extremely intelligent. He's also extremely horny, but that only motivates him to approach and improve his success rate.

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Franco, I get where you are coming from with that but understand that there are quite a few guys who happen to be Brown aren't brought up in the old world culture. In my case I was brought up more in Western culture and I happen to do alright with women, even a small number of White women, but not most White girls especially here in college. I find that there is a certain section of White females who are above average/good looking, from well off families, and usually go to a 4 year school that are completely closed off to interracial dating and it frustrates me. Some might go for black guys but anything foreign is an absolute no no to them.

Problem is in college I have run into so many of these and I would seriously like to know why I am getting treated like shit by them while being treated well by other girls. I mean what makes these girls such evil heartless demon spawns?