How to react when girl on bed with you, but wont even escalate to kissing

[pickupq123]

I'm going to make this a short one.

Had first date with girl, brought her home. We're both sitting on my bed. Everytime I tried to do the tinniest bit of escalating (holding hands, tickling, etc.), she would not reciprocate. Further, when I went in for the kiss, she kind of curled up to avoid it.

This is extremely frustrating. Why would you come back to my place to not even kiss? I must be giving off major boyfriend vibes, which is maybe a post for another time, but I don't get it... Is there anything I can do/say when a girl does this? She even made a jab such as "holding hands is as far as we're going today". She obviously stayed, so she wasn't uncomfortable... Anyone have thoughts?

 

[Smith]

Skip kissing. Get close to her, touch her in other areas of her body and kiss her neck. It's a major turn on.

 

[pickupq123]

Neck.... That's a good idea, thanks.

I tried everything else when kissing failed. Rest my leg next to hers, brush my arm along her leg , around the knee... Tickling.

Bleh. I swear with learning all this it always feels like so close, yet so far.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Why would you come back to my place to not even kiss? I must be giving off major boyfriend vibes, which is maybe a post for another time, but I don't get it... Is there anything I can do/say when a girl does this?

Okay I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you probably weren't feeling 100% comfortable yourself escalating. Am I accurate here?

One of the greatest principles of seduction: "Whatever you're feeling, she's feeling as well". Thus if your feeling a bit awkward and nervous she's going to feel awkward and nervous. Ideally you'd want to be feeling confident (not hesitant), dominant, and excited.

Also one of the biggest escalating lessons I had to learn was that "it's not over until the hot girl (or fat lady.. depending on your taste) sings (leaves)".

A lot of newer guys (myself included at the time) will go for the kiss (that they make out in their heads to be this big moment of truth; do or die), and because they've built it up in their heads so much their overanalyzing and not "in the moment". The girl feels that awkwardness and rejects the kiss (who wants an awkward kiss? that shits not sexy right?). The guy then throws his hands up, takes it personally, and says "well I tried she rejected my advances I guess it's over!" and then gives up.

However all you had to do was pretend like nothing happened, remain unfazed by the rejection (important), and then try to kiss her again 5 minutes later.
It's actually a game called "How many attempts does it take to get the kiss" it's quite fun if you get playful with it.

There's been times I've had a girl over and tried to kiss her like 10 times before she finally submitted and kissed me back... and that was only after she touched my erect cock so sometimes you have to get gangster.

At the end of the day the only person you can be mad at is yourself for her not escalating to kiss you.

Lessons:
1. If she's still there she wants you to escalate, yet she wants the "vibe" to be ON not lame. "Change her mood, not her mind"

2. Don't show even a hint that you were fazed at her rejecting her kiss. Instead treat it like a playful game. Sometimes girls will reject the first kiss to see your reaction. If you show your fazed she'll see you CARE and that's weak because you need her validation to remain in a good emotional state.
.
3. It's your responsibility to influence her emotional state to want to escalate to sex. She's not with a sex charity. Even if she wants to have sex with you if you don't escalate properly and influence her emotions to make her want to escalate, 99% of the time the girl isn't going to just take her clothes off and hop on your dick (that's what prostitutes do and they get paid for it).

Your doing just fine pickupq123, we all have to go through these learning experiences coming up in the game. Just make sure you take the lessons from it and be sure not to let them happen again next time!

Post some field reports of your interactions if you want to get some more help ironing out the details.

Cool to have you on the forums, hope this helped!

-Rob

 

[pickupq123]

Why would you come back to my place to not even kiss? I must be giving off major boyfriend vibes, which is maybe a post for another time, but I don't get it... Is there anything I can do/say when a girl does this?

Okay I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you probably weren't feeling 100% comfortable yourself escalating. Am I accurate here?

One of the greatest principles of seduction: "Whatever you're feeling, she's feeling as well". Thus if your feeling a bit awkward and nervous she's going to feel awkward and nervous. Ideally you'd want to be feeling confident (not hesitant), dominant, and excited.

Also one of the biggest escalating lessons I had to learn was that "it's not over until the hot girl (or fat lady.. depending on your taste) sings (leaves)".

A lot of newer guys (myself included at the time) will go for the kiss (that they make out in their heads to be this big moment of truth; do or die), and because they've built it up in their heads so much their overanalyzing and not "in the moment". The girl feels that awkwardness and rejects the kiss (who wants an awkward kiss? that shits not sexy right?). The guy then throws his hands up, takes it personally, and says "well I tried she rejected my advances I guess it's over!" and then gives up.

However all you had to do was pretend like nothing happened, remain unfazed by the rejection (important), and then try to kiss her again 5 minutes later.
It's actually a game called "How many attempts does it take to get the kiss" it's quite fun if you get playful with it.

There's been times I've had a girl over and tried to kiss her like 10 times before she finally submitted and kissed me back... and that was only after she touched my erect cock so sometimes you have to get gangster.

At the end of the day the only person you can be mad at is yourself for her not escalating to kiss you.

Lessons:
1. If she's still there she wants you to escalate, yet she wants the "vibe" to be ON not lame. "Change her mood, not her mind"

2. Don't show even a hint that you were fazed at her rejecting her kiss. Instead treat it like a playful game. Sometimes girls will reject the first kiss to see your reaction. If you show your fazed she'll see you CARE and that's weak because you need her validation to remain in a good emotional state.
.
3. It's your responsibility to influence her emotional state to want to escalate to sex. She's not with a sex charity. Even if she wants to have sex with you if you don't escalate properly and influence her emotions to make her want to escalate, 99% of the time the girl isn't going to just take her clothes off and hop on your dick (that's what prostitutes do and they get paid for it).

Your doing just fine pickupq123, we all have to go through these learning experiences coming up in the game. Just make sure you take the lessons from it and be sure not to let them happen again next time!

Post some field reports of your interactions if you want to get some more help ironing out the details.

Cool to have you on the forums, hope this helped!

-Rob

Hey Rob,

Thanks for the input. Funny thing, I was 100% comfortable with escalating. I've been in the dating scene for 6-7 months now, so while I'm still working on smoothing out my "bring home and escalate process", I'm at a point where this doesn't phase me at the moment (three months ago, I was terrified at the thought of inviting a girl home). Even when I was "rejected", I played it off as nothing happened.

I thought I screened her REALLY well. This was a Tinder date, and the last thing I told this girl on Tinder was "I like to meet new people and have fun without getting involved in anything serious" She said she was in the same boat, so we exchanged numbers. For the first date, I proposed netflix off the bat at my house (a new thing I'm trying to eliminate time-wasters). She was uncomfortable with going over to a stranger's house, so I proposed ice cream instead. From what others have told me with Tinder, is you need to screen well via the app, and act like a normal guy in person for an hour, and the rest should be history. Still haven't had this experience yet