- Joined
- Apr 2, 2018
- Messages
- 490
So earlier today right before I went to my gym I see this girl with nice curves in a sundress walking the same direction as me. This was my first approach for the day so I was nervous. The fear part of my brain didn't want to risk my ego and thought what's the point of approaching, but I was checking her out and thought she looked good and also there's a possibility that she could be my partner and we could end up as lovers. This made me put my fears to the side momentarily and I was prepared to open her.
I was a bit slow cuz I wasn't sure which direction she was going to walk to and when i'd go for the open and stop. She went inside a starbucks and I thought fuck my hesitation is always one step ahead. I didn't head to my gym yet cuz I was dissapointed so I went to the middle of the plaza just to linger and see if there was someone else I could approach. I walk back and she comes out the starbucks so I have a 2nd chance. I have to front stop her so I get her attention in spanish and ask if she speaks english she says yeah. I look her down and tell her that I think she looks nice in that dress and she kinda chuckles and says thanks. It wasn't a strong hook or open, but I introduce myself and she tells me her name in response. However she walks away after sharing her name and my attempt to persist and ask if she had a minute to chat fails.
I thought that's ok it doesn't get me down i'm pleased that I overcome my anxiety and made that approach. I wasn't sure if she saw me prior to going inside the starbucks and then assumed that I was deliberately waiting for her in the plaza cuz that would've played a role in her response.
Someone calls for my attention and I see this guy from my gym who I also went to school with sitting down with some guy about 15 ft away. Not really buddies with him, but I just say hey whenever I see him. He asks me what that was in a curious manner and if I know her. I was like nah I was just hitting on her. He asked me what I said to her and I told him I thought she looked nice in that dress and then he said some dumb shit like you shoulda barked at her lol(he's kind of a clown). Then we move on and he asks me if i'm heading to the gym and some other small talk.
Looking back I feel a bit "beta" for my logical explanation that I was hitting on her. I feel like I could've shared a lot less detail and say something brief like I was just talking to her, I thought she looked familiar or even something ridiculous like I wanted her to subscribe to my onlyfans. I didn't expect that somebody I know was witnessing it not that i'm really embarrassed. But it's something that I should be prepared for because while most people from my gym and neighborhood don't know who I am by name some may at least recognize my face especially to places that I frequent.
That's kind of why with the exception of a few people from the gym i'm a bit of a lone wolf there and don't mingle with that many people because I want to stay somewhat anonymous so I can cold approach without much of a reputation in my neighborhood. Although this hurts my ability to get girls at the gym because I don't have a lot of social proof and I don't feel like I can target individual girls and isolate them at my current level. So i'm going to have to be more assertive and try to start conversations with girls and guys at the gym in a social manner. The more I acquaint myself with people and become known the more likely someone could see me approach at any given point and question me about it and it feels double awkward if a girl I knew and had interest in saw it.
How should I handle situations like this if someone asks me why I went up to a girl during the day, asks me what I said or makes some kind of slick comment ? This is kind of the reason why I did minimal approaching around old jobs I had. I would be mostly lowkey. Not overly concerned it's going to happen again, but would like to be prepared in the future. If I make a good approach and the girl looks visibily interested and engaged it doesn't matter because there isn't a negative someone could say. Most approaches don't go anywhere and others might be awkward or not smooth so that's when I would need to defend myself.
I was a bit slow cuz I wasn't sure which direction she was going to walk to and when i'd go for the open and stop. She went inside a starbucks and I thought fuck my hesitation is always one step ahead. I didn't head to my gym yet cuz I was dissapointed so I went to the middle of the plaza just to linger and see if there was someone else I could approach. I walk back and she comes out the starbucks so I have a 2nd chance. I have to front stop her so I get her attention in spanish and ask if she speaks english she says yeah. I look her down and tell her that I think she looks nice in that dress and she kinda chuckles and says thanks. It wasn't a strong hook or open, but I introduce myself and she tells me her name in response. However she walks away after sharing her name and my attempt to persist and ask if she had a minute to chat fails.
I thought that's ok it doesn't get me down i'm pleased that I overcome my anxiety and made that approach. I wasn't sure if she saw me prior to going inside the starbucks and then assumed that I was deliberately waiting for her in the plaza cuz that would've played a role in her response.
Someone calls for my attention and I see this guy from my gym who I also went to school with sitting down with some guy about 15 ft away. Not really buddies with him, but I just say hey whenever I see him. He asks me what that was in a curious manner and if I know her. I was like nah I was just hitting on her. He asked me what I said to her and I told him I thought she looked nice in that dress and then he said some dumb shit like you shoulda barked at her lol(he's kind of a clown). Then we move on and he asks me if i'm heading to the gym and some other small talk.
Looking back I feel a bit "beta" for my logical explanation that I was hitting on her. I feel like I could've shared a lot less detail and say something brief like I was just talking to her, I thought she looked familiar or even something ridiculous like I wanted her to subscribe to my onlyfans. I didn't expect that somebody I know was witnessing it not that i'm really embarrassed. But it's something that I should be prepared for because while most people from my gym and neighborhood don't know who I am by name some may at least recognize my face especially to places that I frequent.
That's kind of why with the exception of a few people from the gym i'm a bit of a lone wolf there and don't mingle with that many people because I want to stay somewhat anonymous so I can cold approach without much of a reputation in my neighborhood. Although this hurts my ability to get girls at the gym because I don't have a lot of social proof and I don't feel like I can target individual girls and isolate them at my current level. So i'm going to have to be more assertive and try to start conversations with girls and guys at the gym in a social manner. The more I acquaint myself with people and become known the more likely someone could see me approach at any given point and question me about it and it feels double awkward if a girl I knew and had interest in saw it.
How should I handle situations like this if someone asks me why I went up to a girl during the day, asks me what I said or makes some kind of slick comment ? This is kind of the reason why I did minimal approaching around old jobs I had. I would be mostly lowkey. Not overly concerned it's going to happen again, but would like to be prepared in the future. If I make a good approach and the girl looks visibily interested and engaged it doesn't matter because there isn't a negative someone could say. Most approaches don't go anywhere and others might be awkward or not smooth so that's when I would need to defend myself.
